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Fnord
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02 Aug 2019, 10:07 am

I've never experienced a "Mid-Life Crisis", as I was too busy trying to survive, support my family, and figure out why life had been difficult for me. Then I was diagnosed with an ASD, and my life seemed to actually improve.

Did I buy a new red convertible? No, my old Toyota is just fine for me.

Did I join a fitness club, lose weight, and get a "beach bod"? No, if anything, I gained more weight.

Did I cheat on my wife and have an affair? No, my social circle has actually decreased to just my wife and a few close friends.

Psychology Today defines a "Midlife Crisis" as "... a time when adults reckon with their mortality and their sense of a dwindling number of remaining years of productive life ... some individuals do develop conditions such as depression and anxiety...", and symptoms may include:

• Exhaustion, boredom, or discontentment with life or with a lifestyle (including people and things) that previously provided fulfillment.

• Frantic energy; feeling restless and wanting to do something completely different.

• Self-questioning; questioning decisions made years earlier and the meaning of life.

•​ Confusion about who you are or where your life is going.

• Daydreaming.

• Irritability, unexpected anger.

• Persistent sadness.

• Increase in alcohol and drug use, food intake, and other compulsions.

• Significant decrease or increase in sexual desire.

• Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger.

• Greatly decreased or increased ambition.

Has any other middle-aged person (~40 to ~65) experienced any of these things? I'm winding down to retirement, and I'm curious as to what a "Mid-Life Crisis" is really all about.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2019, 10:17 am

Nope.....never had the means to have a "mid-life crisis." Nor the time.



IsabellaLinton
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02 Aug 2019, 10:36 am

• Exhaustion, boredom, or discontentment with life or with a lifestyle (including people and things) that previously provided fulfillment.
No -- other than the fact I stopped masking, or socialising against my will. I'm happier now with fewer interactions.

• Frantic energy; feeling restless and wanting to do something completely different.
Never

• Self-questioning; questioning decisions made years earlier and the meaning of life.
No -- only as it pertains to understanding my autism, which was only identified last year.

•​ Confusion about who you are or where your life is going.
No -- I'm happy with my life; it makes more sense every day with ASD awareness.

• Daydreaming.
Always, but that's my ASD and I've always been like that. It's not new.

• Irritability, unexpected anger.
No, apart from occasional meltdowns from sensory stimulation or PTSD.

• Persistent sadness.
I have Major Depressive Disorder but that's not new, and it doesn't pertain to my age.

• Increase in alcohol and drug use, food intake, and other compulsions.
No

• Significant decrease or increase in sexual desire.
No

• Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger.
No (likewise not with someone older)

• Greatly decreased or increased ambition.
No, apart from the fact I don't worry about work-related pressures any more.


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Fireblossom
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02 Aug 2019, 11:31 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Nope.....never had the means to have a "mid-life crisis." Nor the time.


You still have 5-6 years to have it. :wink:



kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2019, 11:54 am

LOL...I won't have the time until I'm 62, when I retire.

By then, it wouldn't be a "mid-life crisis" any longer.....



BTDT
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02 Aug 2019, 1:56 pm

I've been doing range of motion exercises and doing a ton of flower gardening, so yeah, I guess I'm now in the "beach bod category!" :lol: My waist is the thinnest its been since I've been an adult. I just bought a pair of junior's crop tops to wear in the next heat wave. It makes a difference if you are too cheap to run air conditioning.



goatfish57
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02 Aug 2019, 3:15 pm

Nope, no mid life crisis, mid life burnout yes.


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la_fenkis
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02 Aug 2019, 4:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
I've never experienced a "Mid-Life Crisis", as I was too busy trying to survive, support my family, and figure out why life had been difficult for me. Then I was diagnosed with an ASD, and my life seemed to actually improve.

Did I buy a new red convertible? No, my old Toyota is just fine for me.

Did I join a fitness club, lose weight, and get a "beach bod"? No, if anything, I gained more weight.

Did I cheat on my wife and have an affair? No, my social circle has actually decreased to just my wife and a few close friends.

Psychology Today defines a "Midlife Crisis" as "... a time when adults reckon with their mortality and their sense of a dwindling number of remaining years of productive life ... some individuals do develop conditions such as depression and anxiety...", and symptoms may include:

• Exhaustion, boredom, or discontentment with life or with a lifestyle (including people and things) that previously provided fulfillment.

• Frantic energy; feeling restless and wanting to do something completely different.

• Self-questioning; questioning decisions made years earlier and the meaning of life.

•​ Confusion about who you are or where your life is going.

• Daydreaming.

• Irritability, unexpected anger.

• Persistent sadness.

• Increase in alcohol and drug use, food intake, and other compulsions.

• Significant decrease or increase in sexual desire.

• Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger.

• Greatly decreased or increased ambition.

Has any other middle-aged person (~40 to ~65) experienced any of these things? I'm winding down to retirement, and I'm curious as to what a "Mid-Life Crisis" is really all about.


Yes to everything except the affairs, and I'm only 30.

The whole thing about red convertibles, beach bodies, and, to an extent, affairs is a stereotype. It's an existential crisis. Demarcation along the lines of a particular age range doesn't do it justice.



blazingstar
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02 Aug 2019, 6:52 pm

No mid-life crisis as described above, though I've probably experienced each individual item a time or two throughout my life. I am very conscious of "dwindling years" though that seems an awful way to describe it. But rather than making me inclined to do rather stupid actions, I am more attuned to living the best I can and valuing each day.


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ASPartOfMe
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02 Aug 2019, 7:29 pm

Exhaustion, boredom, or discontentment with life or with a lifestyle (including people and things) that previously provided fulfillment.
No

• Frantic energy; feeling restless and wanting to do something completely different.
No

• Self-questioning; questioning decisions made years earlier and the meaning of life.
Yes for questioning decisions, not the meaning life. The questioning occurred in the months after my diagnosis was a necessary part of finding out a fundamental part about myself I did not know.

•​ Confusion about who you are or where your life is going.
See above. A lot of confusion about what was added skils and what was me faking myself

• Daydreaming.
I have always done that too much.

• Irritability, unexpected anger.
No

• Persistent sadness.
No

• Increase in alcohol and drug use, food intake, and other compulsions.
Increase in food intake and weight gain in the years prior to my diagnosis. I have paid and are paying a price

• Significant decrease or increase in sexual desire.
Nothing more than normal age-related stuff as far as I can tell which is bad for the ego but has its good points

• Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger.
No

• Greatly decreased or increased ambition.
Greatly decreased ambition in the years prior to my diagnosis.


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darkwaver
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02 Aug 2019, 10:08 pm

No mid-life crisis yet - I'm more comfortable with myself and my life at this age than I've ever been. My job is the only thing causing me any real problems right now.



Dear_one
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03 Aug 2019, 3:01 am

Doesn't everybody buy a Harley and circle their continent around age 45?
Seriously, I've had one about every seven years since puberty.



Benjamin the Donkey
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03 Aug 2019, 3:16 am

In my case, what others might see as a mid-life crisis is actually a case of autistic burnout. No more energy or motivation to care how the rest of the world views me... so I may appear to have suddenly become more eccentric and nonconformist (not to mention "lower-functioning"). But it's actually who I've always been.


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MrsPeel
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03 Aug 2019, 4:19 am

Yeah, like others here, I just got mid-life burn-out - and I'm even less likely to try new and exciting things because of it.
The standard type of crisis sounds like a lot more fun.



auntblabby
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03 Aug 2019, 4:35 am

never had anything like that. in my neck of the woods they call that "middle-aged crazy" - dumping the wife for some skinny blonde, sports car et al.



ASPartOfMe
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03 Aug 2019, 4:38 am

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
In my case, what others might see as a mid-life crisis is actually a case of autistic burnout. No more energy or motivation to care how the rest of the world views me... so I may appear to have suddenly become more eccentric and nonconformist (not to mention "lower-functioning"). But it's actually who I've always been.

The autistic burnout theory seems to explain my experiences in the years prior to diagnosis.


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My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman