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chris1989
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21 Aug 2019, 7:44 am

I do at times feel frustrated and think I'm a loser because I don't have many close friends to hang out with and meet up with, I don't go to a noisy bar or a club on a weekend which I seem to think everyone does and I don't like those places, living with parents and simply can't afford a flat or a place of my own and lacking any interest right now in doing so and still single at 29 and feel like I MUST start thinking seriously about life and stop having fun, which seem to find quite stressful, in much the same way as it was when I left college and was told I have to go and get a job. I feel envious of those maybe five years younger than me because feel their lives are more fun and stress-free, I do find it even more frustrating and annoying when you are being dictated to by people who you don't know that you SHOULD be doing something at a certain age, like ''Why are you still living with parents?'', ''Why haven't you got a girlfriend yet ?'', and so on and think that if you don't DO these by that time, you are frowned upon and seen as a loser and seem to find it quite hard not to take it personally.



timf
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21 Aug 2019, 8:06 am

The selection of measurement criteria for one's life can be important.

If you select what other people think, you will get one result.

If you select how much fun you get, you will get a different result.

If you select the self-sacrifice of building a family. you may get still another result.

A person may come out a "loser" with one yardstick and a winner by another.



Joe90
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21 Aug 2019, 8:11 am

You're loved very much here. Go and check out the members discussion, you'll find a thread dedicated to you!


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shortfatbalduglyman
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21 Aug 2019, 10:19 am

chris1989 wrote:
I do at times feel frustrated and think I'm a loser


Everyone feels "frustrated" sometimes

Some things are frustrating

Everyone loses sometimes





because I don't have many close friends to

Most precious lil "people" only want to be friends with other lil dipshits just them


Just because you don't have a lot of friends doesn't mean that you are a "loser"






hang out with and meet up with, I don't go to a noisy bar or a club on a weekend


The world contains seven billion precious lil "people". Not everyone goes to bars.



which I seem to think everyone does and I don't like those places, living with parents and simply can't afford a flat or a place of my own and lacking any interest right now in doing so and still single at 29 and feel like I MUST start thinking seriously about life and stop having fun, which seem to find quite stressful, in much the same way as it was when I left college and was told I have to go and get a job. I feel envious of those maybe five years younger than me because feel their lives are more fun and stress-free,

Not "stress free",. Everyone has stress. But they have less stress than you and more fun


I do find it even more frustrating and annoying when you are being dictated to by people who you don't know that you SHOULD be doing something at a certain age, like ''Why are you still living with parents?'', ''Why haven't you got a girlfriend yet ?'', and so on and think that if you don't DO these by that time, you are frowned upon and seen as a loser and seem to find it quite hard not to take it personally.





Please ignore those precious lil "people". They are totally full of themselves



ToughDiamond
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21 Aug 2019, 11:31 am

I agree with the others here. That label "a loser" was made up by judgemental types to hurt people. It can't harm you if you don't believe in it. There's not much point in internalising somebody else's idea of the achievements required of a "winner" because that will just take you away from pursuing what you yourself want. It's hard to stay aloof from silly judgements if you're surrounded by a judgemental, competitive herd of course. All I can recommend for that is to use what power you have to gravitate towards the right kind of people and to avoid the wrong kind, though it's not always easy in a world where we get jerks thrust upon us so often.

Feeling frustrated at not getting what you genuinely want for yourself is another matter entirely. I guess the only fix for that is to keep plugging away at your goals and pitting your wits against the blocks till they give way.



goatfish57
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21 Aug 2019, 2:59 pm

We all make the mistake of idolizing the lives of others. You would be surprised by the amount of time and effort people put in on Facebook to make their lives look amazing. There will always be people who are better and they should be appreciated for what they have done and not envied for what we have failed to realize.

I speak from years of experience, being subjected to over achievers and compared unfavorably to them. We are what we are. But that is not an excuse not to try and if we fail, so be it.

Feel good and walk proud.


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