Do You Ever Wish That You Could Mind Meld with Somebody?

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It seems like a lot of callousness and misunderstandings result from people not really understanding each other. Sometimes I think my family imputes the worst motives on me. I am a private person so there’s a lot they don’t know and a lot that I don’t feel comfortable sharing with them.

I guess I just wish that I could tell them that something is bothering me without them getting reactionary and assuming the worst. My mom is super mad at me right now because I want to get rid of my couch. I’m being wasteful. I want to sit on the floor until I can buy a new couch. (This sounds sillier than it is.)

I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain things. My family should have my back if I tell them that something is bothering me.

A lot of conflict could be averted if people actually understood one another.

With being so private, I wouldn’t want to mind meld with someone entirely, but some understanding on some level would be nice.

No, I think they would go crazy!

The number of times I would love to share the symptoms of energy loss I have in the hope that I can find out what it is... Not that I want anyone else to have it, but just so they can understand that I am not being lazy when I suddenly get energy loss issues if it is suddenly announced someone wants help to lift something and I was not expecting it, and my body then loses its strength.
At times I have been so frustrated when visiting doctors and thinking "How come I feel this bad and they can't see it?"

It can be even more frustrating with the mind. When I was very young, though I spoke three words at a very early age (5 months my mum said and I remember it!) and then I learned to talk at the average age, not being able to put thoughts in words I used to almost explode with pressure? Anger? I was told that as a baby my mum once almost threw me out the window as I wouldn't stop crying.

Up to the age of about five or six I used to get raging tempers. I was very fortunate in that my dad (Who I am ever so greatful for) disciplined me and I then became the opposite. The reason why I am greatful is that as a child I nearly killed a girl when she wanted to play with my toys in my personal toybox and I objected. I picked up a roller skate and hit her hard over the head. Fortunately she was ok, and I had a red behind and was sent to bed. If my dad had been more lenient with me it could have led me to do something silly in anger.
However, since that day to now I rarely feel angry, but I believe it is when the energy loss issues I struggle with first started to take place.
To have someone who can feel what I feel during an energy loss event who knows what it is... Can identify wat I am feeling when I have it happen... Knows what it is etc... That would mean so much to me as I could fully understand it so avoid the situations taking place. I know how to recover from them and when I feel them begin to happen, I know how to lessen their intensness. That is to eat or drink something sugary or chocolatey and lie down somewhere a little private and wait until my energy returns. It often does not take long, except it can keep reoccuring or go deeper etc if I can't find something energetic to eat or drink.

It would be such a blessing to share just temporarily enough for someone to understand me and work things out. I would never want anyone to have it permanently. Just once to experience it will do and a half dose form rather then a deep form.

Nope...I don't wish that at all!

I believe in autonomy. I believe we, as individuals, are entitled to some private thoughts which nobody else knows about.

I would like "real understanding," too.

I have had people understand "most" of me---but never the totality of me.

Sometimes, I don't understand myself "totally."

Maybe a couple or so. Not very many.

If I give advice to people, it's not because I feel "superior" to them. It's because I have experienced certain things, and I believe my experiences might benefit other people.

Really only one person truely understands me. God. The second person that comes close to understanding about 50 to 75% of me is my mother. She generally thinks in the same ways as I do. My dad (When he was alive) was very different in the way he thinks. He also had the amazing ability to connect with people. I mean... I used to marvel how he was able to do it!

A lady ( lets call her "Lady 1) I used to work with used to drive me nuts. She would think that I was lying when I wasn't lying, would act like I was supposed to be delighted that she was wrongly implying that I was lying, and would imply that I was lying for motives I didn't have ( ie if I WERE to lie I would lie for nearly opposite reasons).

We count inventory (retail store chains hire us to physically count all of their merchandise).

One day we were working together in a small convenience store. She told some sob story about how her furnace broke down at home so she couldn't handle counting the soda bottles in the refrigerator door displays- because she couldn't stand the cold when you open the doors to scan the product.

I shrugged and agreed even though I was puzzled because two subordinate workers aren't supposed to just decide what to count, you count what our common boss TELLS us what to friggen count.

Then the boss lady (lady 2)shows ups, and the boss says to me "you Naturalplastic count the (a different part of the store)". So... I followed the boss's orders and started to count that different part of the store.

Then Lady 1 came up to me and gave me what for for not following what she and I agreed about me counting the soda bottle doors.

I was about to tell her "You were there and witnessed her give me a direct order. So you go find the boss lady and tell HER that that is what we agreed to do, and if its okay with her then I will do it". But before I could respond Lady One yells "IF YOU DONT WANNA DO IT ...just SAY so!" and she ran off and started to count the doors. I was pissed, for a number of reasons. But pissed mainly because I actually WANTED to count the doors because its a plum job. But I opted not to go over and confront lady number 1 and start a fight in front of the client (the store staff).

The point I am making is that this lady who yelled at me THOUGHT she could read my mind (she projected her own neurosis onto me), but not only could not read my mind- she got me ass-backward. And it would have been nice if she could have read me right.

Here are the issues.
She should have realized (as I said above) that this little convenience store is not exception to how the company usually works.- and that you do what the boss tells you to do.

If you need special accomidation you go UP the chain of command (ie talk to the boss), and not down the chain of command (she wasn't my supervisor at that store, but was a notch higher ranking person than me in the company- so it aint my job to accomodate her).

Most employees of our company are able to get into that store's frozen vault and count for an hour without complaining (not just a little breath air coming out of a door but be totally contained in the stores walk in frig).Including me. Lady One should've known that I am like most of our coworkers and not like her (a wimp) and should have realized that more stamina with the cold she did.

Because I am not a wimp like her she should have known that it was highly unlikely that I would object to doing the task in question.

Further - she should have realized that - on the contrary -the task in question is desireable because its an easy way to bolster your APH (the number of pieces you count per hour)- and there fore makes you look good for raises and promotions.

Further- she should've realized that- I am usually barred FROM doing that task because of my low rank.

So...from my pov this lady was in essence - offering me free money- and inviting me to rip her off. Saying to me "I, Lady One, am a fool, and I invite you to separate me from my money!" . Actually- "I am a fool, AND a pathetic wimp!". She was threatening her count numbers, and bolstering my numbers, in a way that in essence translates to her giving me money out of her own pocket and putting it into my pocket.

If I had continued the argument I probably would have said something like "I am MORE THAN HAPPY to take advantage of your stupid, pathetic, and wimpy, ass, by ripping you off, by counting the doors for you. BUT- you need to get the boss's permission first before I do that".

So in that situation- yeah- I wish someone in my life had read my mind.

I dunno. That incident just happened to be on my mind. I dunno if it's relevant or not.

Umm. Parting with a couch.... Is like parting with a pair of wellies. You get attached to them.

Ummm. Out of interest, what don't you like about the one you have?

I have a strange one for you. I love an upstairs (E.g. a bedroom) to have no carpets but just floorboards. However, I don't have my own house anymore so I have a carpet.