ANXITEY. How does it effect you and how does it feel?

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If I can recall;

Impulsivity, inattention, more 'awkwardness', intrusive or unnecessary worrying, over thinking, procrastination, withdrawal, aversion of certain tasks and changes, sensory intolerance, mild tremors, stronger indecisiveness, certain degree of perfectionism or higher standards, 'need for assurance', increased 'rigidity', and strong yet effective fear based like motivation, worsen executive dysfunction, gastrointestinal sensations, heart palpitations, more frequent headaches, 'little to no intuition', less mental stamina, more prone to overreactions, rational overcompensations, degrees of alexithymia (anxiety as a muffling 'noise' and 'weight'), prosocial egocentrism...


It's also not an ideal mix in my current environments.
So many of these effects clashes with my 'paths', personality and preferences.
That I would have to overcome all of it before my adulthood instead of it being stuck with me while having to function with it; in other words, I cannot afford anxiety.
It makes me more 'unstable' and more consistently changed for the worse than I'm already been without it.

A few of those I get, but you have put so many details I can't think what it feels like even though I have had it today and am feeling it to a lesser degree now.

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Some are more observable, some are subtle or deeper one wouldn't notice until someone pointed out.

Of course these symptoms doesn't always come out all at once.
And my own list is likely an incomplete list even.



It's just I know the differences in between, from not having any degree of it -- From having it yet:
Denying it, bottling it, getting by from it, having it subconsciously hidden/running on the background, and the obvious kinds similar and centering around the emotions of fear, worry, excitement, anticipation, anger... In between intensities.
Physically/chemically acquiring it, mentally/emotionally being induced by it, or having it from seemingly out of nowhere even if the present situation and your conscious mind knows otherwise.


And my post, can, sometimes overwhelm some.
Cannot help but spill several stuff at once, and still feel something is missing because either I recall a few more later, or that I cannot verbally describe it in words yet.
It's like presenting too many pieces of the puzzles, instead of the whole puzzle's picture.

Hi Mountain Goat,

I know that feeling of anxiety. The liquid feeling of dysphoria towards life and the thinning feel of your bones. Anxiety is really bad for your health but a lot of us on the spectrum just have to put up living with it on a regular basis.

Sometimes I get this thing I call autistic hyperdrive.
It makes it hard to stay still, I have to keep walking around, and my stomach gets tight, so I have to take a few deep breaths to calm myself before I can eat. When I'm in hyperdrive, small things people do or say can really get me wound up and I might get a bit paranoid.

According to my GP, it's anxiety.

I'm not entirely convinced, I think it might just be a symptom of the autism. My body not reacting appropriately to stress. (see my thread "autistic stress disorder" for more on this)