Poor treatment at work for being 'different'

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Yakuzamonroe
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17 Oct 2019, 10:44 pm

I was working, employed and pretty satisfied at my job ... and then everyone started thinking I was just weird, not talkative, kept to myself and tried to perform well (which I did). Then, for one reason or another, I was let go pre-the end of my probationary period, my former employers stating I wasn't a "good fit" for their organization. That's the last time I work in collections, I tell you. I heard whispers, literally right behind me, about being "mentally ill" (not out of the park, mind you, but technically inaccurate when my behavior is observed) and being a "reclusive weirdo". I feel my personality didn't gel well with the rest of the office which is why I was let go.

Now, obviously, I can imagine being introverted and an aspie can be especially challenging in social environments and especially so in work environments where people are competing with each other. It's uneasy at best when people are talking and sniggering at you within earshot and nervewracking at best when the managers talk about how you won't last at the job amongst their subordinates (an opinion they didn't share with me face to face, I might add).

While I embrace who I am and love the way I do things and how my mind works, I want to ask my fellow aspies out there, what are some suggestions for A) smoothing myself over so that passive-aggressive behavior doesn't get to me as much and B) how can I sort myself into the social fabric a little better so I can at least show I mean no harm to the people around me and I'm just ... well ... who I am. This may just be a 'learn some essential social skills' scenario but I wonder what more I can do to prevent this from happening again in the future.

Thanks, guys.



kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2019, 7:19 am

Collections is a sucky job, anyway.

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

What was your field of endeavor in school/college/university?



GoldenMom
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18 Oct 2019, 7:36 am

I’m so sorry this happened!

NTs seem to value interaction via chats about “meaningless topics” because that’s the way they connect. When you don’t participate in those rituals you become the odd piece out. I’ve been that odd piece far too many times. So at my current job, I try to every now and then have small nuggets of conversations about people’s pets or their new home, or whatever stuff that is unrelated to the job. I keep it brief, because let’s be honest, it’s hard to do that for a long time. This seems to put people at ease.

You’d think that doing your job the best way possible would be enough to keep the job. Makes sense, right? But NTs consider the “fluff” as being part of the job too. In fact, sometimes the “fluff” is more important than the technical performance.

Hope you find a job that fits you better! Wish you all good things!


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kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2019, 7:49 am

Collections has more of its share of assholes than most fields.

They are not a microcosm of the working world in general.



harry12345
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18 Oct 2019, 8:07 am

I've had two jobs. The first was working in a small shop in the warehouse, occasionally working on the shop floor. There were about 15-20 people there and we were all different ages, creeds, race, background etc.

My second job was in a factory and I was there for a long time. If I was in a role that allowed me to work on my own, or supplying work to other people I was fine. Problems occured when I was on the receiving end of work supply or engaged with working with lots of people day in day out.

In the end I left as more and more it was the latter and not the former.

I have found myself at my happiest when I can work on my own, or am surrounded by freindly people, usually women, and always older or younger people. I had very few "peer" aged colleagues that I got on with and if I did they were always similar in personality to me. If I am surrounded by people who have issues of their own (i.e. anger managment, slackers, judgemental, can't do, won't do, not my job, gossipers, etc etc) then I am unhappy and it is a visious circle.

It is not easy but the best place to be is an environment where there are lots of different people. Old people, young people, different colours and creeds, male & female. That way you can blend in better than if you are working with a group of similar aged men or women who are all in a clique.



kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2019, 9:18 am

The best thing to do....is to do your job to the best of your ability. And don't do other people's jobs (I'm definitely not saying that you're doing that.

Hopefully, you are assigned a certain task to do alone, and other people are assigned certain tasks to do alone.

There is too much emphasis on "teamwork" these days.



harry12345
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18 Oct 2019, 3:00 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The best thing to do....is to do your job to the best of your ability. And don't do other people's jobs (I'm definitely not saying that you're doing that.

Hopefully, you are assigned a certain task to do alone, and other people are assigned certain tasks to do alone.

There is too much emphasis on "teamwork" these days.


At my last place they had a group of people who met 3 times a week to try and reduce the amount of team work in the business. :roll: :roll:



Yakuzamonroe
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19 Oct 2019, 3:51 pm

GoldenMom wrote:
You’d think that doing your job the best way possible would be enough to keep the job. Makes sense, right? But NTs consider the “fluff” as being part of the job too. In fact, sometimes the “fluff” is more important than the technical performance.

Hope you find a job that fits you better! Wish you all good things!


I know, right?!

Thanks for your good wishes. Incidentally, of all the new people who were fired, one of them was willing to help me out and even gave me a glowing reference for a job. Overall, it wasn't all bad!

kraftiekortie wrote:
Collections has more of its share of assholes than most fields.

They are not a microcosm of the working world in general.

The best thing to do....is to do your job to the best of your ability. And don't do other people's jobs (I'm definitely not saying that you're doing that.

Hopefully, you are assigned a certain task to do alone, and other people are assigned certain tasks to do alone.

There is too much emphasis on "teamwork" these days.


A hard-learned lesson. And, yes, it's seemed unnecessary for me to get along with everyone in the office if I'm also in competition with them to collect as much as possible. I blame naivete having never been exposed to a work setting where EVERYONE seemed to hate me and hate me being there. Lesson learned and I think I'm going to avoid any callbacks from any collection agencies from here on in.

And, yeah, working alone will be my aim for any future work from now on.

harry12345 wrote:
It is not easy but the best place to be is an environment where there are lots of different people. Old people, young people, different colors and creeds, male & female. That way you can blend in better than if you are working with a group of similar-aged men or women who are all in a clique.


That didn't seem to matter. They were of varying age demographics young to old. The only real commonality was they were all white which I only mention for contrast as I'm part of a visible minority. Otherwise, I was the "crazy weirdo".

Though it shouldn't make me feel any better, I wasn't the one who took some of the worst of it. There was a black guy there who one of our older co-workers called "losers are us". I'm starting to think anyone showing even one or two shades of difference from the "norm" were targeted. I was the last one to get let go out of the new hires of six anyway ... Yeesh.