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playgroundlover
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30 Oct 2019, 7:39 pm

Hi, this is a follow up post on the topic I posted about my job in the work forum.
I work at a school as a teacher assistant building floater. I have this one cherub in particular that I'm having a hard time with. I had him as a student last year and requested him this year since I know him better than any of the other TA's. I'm feeling really frustrated because I used to be with him for almost 4 hours per day. He has recently started to regress especially at times I wasn't with him ending up in the office and now he is performing worse than I've ever seen him. The other day, the principal decided to cut my time with him almost in half. I expressed my concerns to her and she said we'll revisit it if he becomes a problem but that other students need supports during those time blocks. This particular student is not special ed but he does have accommodations for ADHD and depression. I don't know what to do. I feel incredibly powerless because I know he's suffering and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't even keep him safe at recess anymore because that was removed from my schedule. I understand that other students need supports too but I just feel a deep connection with this one since I have known him the longest and the best. I also feel like other people in the school like the principal, teacher, and psychologist who don't know him as well as I do are making all of his educational decisions and it's frustrating. He is going to middle school next year and may not have any of his needed supports. I'm really not sure what to do. Sometimes, I just wanna cry because I feel like I'm failing him and there's nothing I can do about it. What can I do to make myself feel like I have some control in this child's wellbeing? How can I stop the emotional pain that he feels everyday of his life and the sadness that I feel when I can't? Any ideas?
Thanks. :roll:



kraftiekortie
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30 Oct 2019, 7:45 pm

I really don't have any ideas at the moment that can really help you.

It seems like they want you to attend to other kids other than him. I sense that it is very arbitrary what they are doing. But, in a way, they're right. The other kids need your attention, too.

I understand you feel an attachment to him. I probably would, too, if I were in your shoes.

I was sort of similar, in some senses, to that student. I did well academically-----but I was a basket case in other ways.

Does he get bullied at recess? How does he behave in class? Could you describe this person to us?



CubsBullsBears
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30 Oct 2019, 9:47 pm

Maybe they're concerned about him being too attached to YOU, if you know what I mean? I already was attracted to a few females when I was in 5th grade. You being 24 doesn't help with that.



jimmy m
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30 Oct 2019, 11:03 pm

I am not sure I can be of any help. You said "This particular student is not special ed but he does have accommodations for ADHD and depression." So my question is "does he fall under an autistic spectrum (or Asperger's) diagnosis"?

If he does then I would inform him of the following. A large number of high functioning autistics and Aspies are bullied. For males this generally peaks in Junior High School. After that age, the bullying generally diminishes. Bullying can take the form of verbal abuse and also physical abuse and can be severe. [So I guess I am advising you to tell him the truth. And that is it may get worse before it gets better and also there is light at the end of the tunnel. In general as he reaches adulthood, much of the bullying will cease.]

If he is a bright kid, then I would recommend a couple books. These books are not Aspie related. They are a very good discussion about stress and how to deal with stress. Since he is already showing signs of depression, then his stress has already turned into distress. These books are:
In an Unspoken Voice by Peter A. Levine
The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process by David Berceli


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30 Oct 2019, 11:54 pm

I was going to express the same idea as Jimmy did, HOWEVER, I am under the impression it is NOT just autistics, and it is NOT just junior high, though that is a time that it can peak at. Now, I was kind of odd, but I don't think it was generally that noticeable, and It wasn't anything anyone should have felt like fighting over. I think they just wanted what they saw as an easy target. Interestingly, after I graduated highschool, I saw a guy that bullied me, in highschool, and he was very friendly. It was like all of the sudden he just was a different person. Go figure. I will always wonder about that. I can't tell you anything about how girls treat other girls, or when it might affect them more, but they can be bad also.

Of course, the kid could also have changed in various ways himself. It is really hard to say.

But you have to kind of get calloused over all of that. Contrary to what some want to think today, the solition is to change how you react to it, more than trying to stop it. There is ALWAYS going to be someone that will try to hurt or abuse you.



playgroundlover
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31 Oct 2019, 2:33 pm

So, this child does not have an autism diagnosis. He just has the above mentioned depression and ADHD. He is going through one of his worst cycles of depression right now. The teacher is referring him for outside help. His main issue at recess is that he always gets into fights despite the fact that is just a peanut. He had a horrible school experience in 2nd grade and is currently in 4th. I'm still trying to figure out what I can do to help him feel better about himself so that he doesn't want to self harm even though he tells me that he hates me and wants me to leave because all I do is annoy him and ruin his days and life. Yes, some days it can be emotionally taxing.



CubsBullsBears
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31 Oct 2019, 4:03 pm

playgroundlover wrote:
he tells me that he hates me and wants me to leave because all I do is annoy him and ruin his days and life.
I guess THAT’S why your time with him was cut in half.



playgroundlover
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31 Oct 2019, 8:09 pm

I may not be perfect but I do try my absolute best everyday and I do always give 100%. Hopefully the outside help will do him some good and I will just hang in there until then. :|



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31 Oct 2019, 8:14 pm

I hope so, too.

You never want to leave any person behind.

There are too many of them in our streets today.