Tone of voice issues

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Hi,

This week, after receiving the diagnosis, it's going a little better and I feel a little more free of anxiety (also because I've been locked up at home for 4 days ).

Does anyone else have problems with the tone of voice? Problems of the kind, that someone confuses your tone of voice as if you were being aggressive or angry? Or on the contrary, you are happy, cheerful, and someone yells at you, aggressively, and you get frozen, totally locked in yourself?

Thank you for reading me and for your answers.

That may be something a speech therapist can help you with.

I was around your age when I worked with a speech therapist to improve my speech.
But, an autism diagnosis had nothing to do with getting treatment. It was for something else.

I tend to speak loud and receive many negative comments about the volume of my speech. Not sure if this is due to my partial loss of hearing or if it is an Aspie trait. Many Aspies speak very quietly and are generally referred to as shy as a result. But if you speak loud, many times that is referred to as being angry (even if its not) or over domineering or controlling.

No, I don't shout, I speak quite softly, but I get told a lot, you can't hear yourself! It seems you're angry! And I always say the same thing, but I'm not angry... And of course, sometimes, there are people who are more reactive and respond to me in anger.

I'll work probably with the speech therapy way.

Thanks for answering

All the time. Its incredibly frustrating. Ive taken to just not interacting with people unless I absolutely have to, or they are well known to me (and me to them)

My pet peeve with the whole thing is where im attempting to explain something, especially if its a problem, eg something that doesn't work the way its supposed to or im having a problem myself and trying to explain my issue, and the response I get from the other people is "Why are you yelling at me?" "Stop yelling" "Whats with the attitude?"
"You wanna go do you c*&t"

It probably doesn't help that I look like a middle aged bikie, long goatee and all, It seems like as soon as my tone of voice gets a little loud, combined with my outward image, the moment the other party makes a comment its like they've completely stopped trying to listen or understand, they are already locked in a mentality that im trying to have a go at them. I find at that point 90% of people become absolutely useless to me, they are unable to do anything to help or listen to what im saying, almost like they are waiting for me to grovel at their feet and apologise or just leave. Its really hard to apologise for things that I don't know im doing, don't see any issues with, not being aggressive ect.

Ive had to make a very strong conscious effort not to talk too loud, at which point I find that people don't listen to me and talk over the top of me because im too quiet or make comments like "Hes really quiet" "He never talks to anyone" "He's rude because he doesn't say anything"

I cant win, so I default back to 'non interaction mode'

I definitely have tone of voice issues. I don't understand them completely.

Yes, totally! My mother always tells me that I come across as "flippant" or "smart-mouthed" even when I'm not trying to be. I usually have no idea that I am doing it. It usually happens when I am anxious or upset.

Definitely sounds like a tone issue, not volume. I'm backing up the speech therapy suggestion, NTs can convey a lot solely by the tone of their voice and it can be practised and learned.