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2cat007
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18 Nov 2019, 12:17 am

I'm thinking about starting a group for autistic adults and teens in my hometown. My city has a large disability population, so I want to help bring resources, a discussion, and an understanding of the issues us autistic adults face. Plus, it would be a good way to help build a community for those that struggle to make friends. I was curious to hear y'all's input on it. I'm either thinking of doing that or starting a YouTube channel. I want to speak out and do something to help us.



Dear_one
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18 Nov 2019, 6:07 am

"Run that flag up the pole and see if anybody salutes."
I started a group that is still going long after I left the area. I probably put up a few notices and spammed my acquaintances to get started, and arranged for a meeting space. I started each meeting by calling for nominations for a new chairperson. I was careful to emulate the best chairperson I'd seen. "Running a meeting" is not like driving a car, it is like having a dog on a leash, but letting it go almost wherever it wants, just not too far off course. The members should not know what the chairperson favours unless they have to cast a tie-breaking vote. Their job is to make sure that everybody feels heard, whatever side they are on. Keeping track of that is enough of a chore that I'd have had to stop and think about what had been discussed, not how, if I'd had to vote.



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18 Nov 2019, 6:22 am

Would I go to such a group? I am not sure. Isay this because I tend to shy away from groups of people. Ok, sometimes I will join a group in the past, but in recent years I have withdrawn a bit to protect myself from shutting down or appearing an odd one out. Usually I am ok, but often I am either shy and withdrawn but to be polite I may smile at people etc, or on rare occasions I will speak out but then be trembling after I have done so.
I also am nurvous unless I am sitting near an exit and I hate being crowded in.

So yes. I love the idea of such a group. But I am not sure if I would go or not. If someone I know was going I may go once or twice. But I am not sure if I could be a frequent member.

For me, a small group where I can get on with something as a distraction within the group and do my own thing would suit me better.
In my teenage years I was a member of a model railway society. It was a club. It had gone down in members when I had joined it. It was great because my Dad could sit and chat to the others (I didn't drive back then) and I would take it in turns to run trains. I wanted to lay track as a lot needed to be layed, but they said only a certain person was allowed to lay the track. Yet I was rather good at things like that. I would have layed all their track in no time... Well. It would take time, but far quicker then they were doing it. Haha!


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Dear_one
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18 Nov 2019, 6:35 am

I don't know the purpose of your group, but if people are going to be discussing private matters, I would borrow heavily from the traditions of 12-step groups. They tell their own story, and ask for permission before commenting on anybody else's situation, so it only happens when it is probably helpful. I liked the Adult Children (of dysfunctional families) Anon groups before I heard of Asperger's.



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18 Nov 2019, 6:52 am

I would be happier in a casual group. People who just meed together with no agenda, just to share ideas or help each other. For me formal groups mean commitment. I don't want to commit to things. I want to casually come and go. If I don't feel like going I don't have to.


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Tawaki
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18 Nov 2019, 10:32 am

Be VERY SPECIFIC on the purpose of the group.

Is it to set up off site outings or a light drop in session?

The Meetup group my husband went to turned into a b***h session/group therapy/everyond disgorging the scrappiness of their lives.

Unless ypu are a skilled in group moderation don't let this happen. It will fry you out.

I live in a large metropolitan area, and the group struggles to attract members. Transportation is a huge issue. My suggestion is make it a place people can get some sort of mass transit.The hours are problematic. On weekends no one showed up.

My suggestion is truly figure out your purpose, target group, times, day, and place to meet. This will make your life 1000 percent easier.

Autism is a big net. The above group had more parents with young children than young adults (which is what the group was originally designed for). That totally changes the dynamics.

HTH



NeilM
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18 Nov 2019, 12:22 pm

I gave considerable thought to doing the same thing but eventually decided it was outside the scope of my abilities.

But I wish you all the best with your endeavor, Godspeed, and keep us informed!


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 120 of 200
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timf
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18 Nov 2019, 1:21 pm

A 12 step type group will focus on problems and coping. If you are interested less in a "problem" type focus, and seek a more social environment, you may want to consider something like a poker night or book discussion as this can provide an activity that can serve to keep the group cohesive.



Dear_one
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18 Nov 2019, 2:03 pm

The best ACA group I was in went on field trips to practice our social skills, doing stuff like miniature golf and nature walks. I was in another group that I liked because it included politics at the time I discovered my AS. They didn't have the strong 12-step tradition of "no cross-talk" - discussing other member's problems - and what I heard in ten minutes at what became my last meeting convinced me to leave the province.



2cat007
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18 Nov 2019, 4:06 pm

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I don’t want this to be a serious type of group. I want it to be a casual group where you can make friends and have a support system since there aren’t many resources for autistic adults over here. The local autism society only focuses on kids. We have one group for adults, but the leader of the group won’t remove a few people with anger problems from the group, so the number of members are dwindling and the whole group is falling apart.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in my group yet. I want us to do an activity like maybe board games, but I’m still in the planning stages. I don’t plan to do anything serious with it until Summer time. When I’m ready I’m going to contact the local disability groups for help.