Getting in trouble as a kid because of autism

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I remember first finding out that I had autism, and how it explained so much. It also made me realize how many things I did as a kid because of autism that I would get in trouble for, since my parents didn’t know I had autism.
For me, I would often get in trouble for using a “disrespectful tone” or raising my voice without meaning to, saying something disrespectful to my parents (not realizing it wasn’t polite), or for “not using common sense”. I used to feel really bad for these things, but now I know it’s part of autism and I’m working on it.
What are some thing so that you guys got in trouble for because of your autism?

Because I had difficulty expressing my feelings verbally (not nonverbal, just difficulty processing emotions when I was younger), I would sometimes lash out physically when upset, and get in trouble for said lashing out. Luckily that stopped during middle school.

Yup. I remember there were a few times that my parents accused me of being disrespectful or a "smart aleck", and it frustrated me SO much, because that truly hadn't been my intent at all and I didn't understand at all how I was being rude.

I also remember being accused of "not listening" and "not following directions" by teachers. I didn't have a lot of problems at school because I was quiet and well behaved, and teachers generally liked me a lot, but that was the one thing that some of them would get onto me about, and I remember how bad it made me feel. Because I WAS always trying my hardest to "follow directions." It's just that I'd shut down if I was given too many instructions at once, and I wouldn't be able to remember and follow them. I also had selective mutism to a degree, and often had a very hard time asking questions or asking for help if I didn't understand something.

I’m remembering all the times that my dad would say or ask me something, I would take him literally, and him just looking down at me and sternly saying “Don’t be a smart aleck.” I know my dad loves me, but that was one thing that really upset me as a kid, I wasn’t trying to “be a smart aleck” or anything, I was just answering my dad’s question! And now he was mad at me.
Taking people literally has always been one of my biggest struggles, and it still really is.

I got in trouble for both the tone thing and not using common sense as well! There was also the running theme of my parents thinking I was lazy because I took what they said too literally. For example my mum asks me to do the dishes. From the past I am meant to infer she wants me to also clean the kitchen but I do not and take her literally, only doing the dishes. She couldn't believe I made that mistake before we knew and would get mad. I also got in trouble because of the strong reaction I get to changes of plan. I'm nearly 17 and I still tear up or, if I'm really stressed, can have panic attacks if plans are changed. I got in trouble for this in the past because it came across as me being stroppy. Plus I never have seen authority figures as I should and was willing to argue with them if I thought something was unjust.

I regularly got in trouble for my selective mutism. If I had a penny for every time my dad told me "Speak, child!" I might be able to afford my own place by now. Because I could speak just fine some of the time, it was assumed that I was capable of it all the time and just didn't want to speak sometimes.

I also didn't know how to distinguish between good attention and bad attention, so I was often getting in trouble at home. I loved to push limits. I fully admit I was a little brat a good bit of the time because of this issue. Yet somehow I knew not to behave like that at school.

I got into trouble fairly often as a kid because I didn't understand how to tell white lies. Especially to people outside of the family. I would tell them the whole truth and my parents would be mortified and tell me off good and proper when they had me alone.

Oh yes, the plans changing one! Every time plans would change, my mom would tell me “It’s not a big deal.” “Things do always go as you want.” “Stop freaking out.” But I would get really stressed. Same thing if we were ever running late.
And I’m still the same, I’m 28 and still get really anxious when plans change, and sometimes have panic attacks.

I remember one time I got in trouble.

In elementary school they would give homework assignments where they provided a list of words and the student had to assemble them into sentences and paragraphs. On one of these assignments they included the words "fight" and "parents". I turned in the assignment and the teacher sent a note home. My parents read the note and they were livid. I had written a paragraph about how my parents fought. That broke a social rule. I couldn't understand why I was being punished because I had assembled the sentences and paragraph correctly and what I wrote was not a lie. But I failed to understand the difference between what can be said in public vs. what can be said in private.

The worst for me was that I would get upset (EF, anxiety, sensory) and my mom would abandon me: "fine, if you are going to be THAT way." [exit stage right]. I would rather have had help to communicate or regulate my emotions. Both my parents labeled me as "dramatic", "grandiose", "too sensitive", etc. I was criticized for wearing non-conforming clothes, going a non-conforming way, etc. Other than that I was the "perfect" child, until college. Even then I was "perfect" while I near failed to cope. Oh, and there was that time I got arrested b/c I "overreacted" - cried and stepped away from an inquiring officer (similar to that Atypical episode of all things).

I just self-diagnosed recently, so previous to these past few months I couldn't understand my own behavior --- why wouldn't I respond calmly and respectively to that officer? What was wrong with me? Oh, yea, I'm AS and struggle with the large stress of a situation and ability to communicate in the face of that.

That is very relatable as well. I would be told off for saying that which was inappropriate as well and my sister, especially when she was younger had the same problem, albeit way worse than I ever did.

Parents barked at me because "you look like you want to kill someone"

But that's just freedom of speech

They and everyone else has a legal "right" to be manipulative arrogant judgmental entitled lil dipshits and I don't have a "right" to do anything about it


In terms of "trouble" like "actions speak louder than words" nothing particular

But maybe I repressed it

All the time. I either took something literal and was told I was being a "smart aleck" or I used the wrong tone of voice and was "rude" somehow.

I remember one time my teacher was PISSED with me because I was supposedly supposed to explain how to do something to another girl who was my best friend at the time. Truth is, I had no idea how to explain it. It was probably dumb luck I got it right myself. But when the teacher is yelling at me because my friend got it "wrong", I apparently am "smiling" and that pissed her off even more. I had no idea I was "smiling". But apparently I did a lot when I was in trouble with people.

I also sometimes would "freeze" when meeting new people and just stand there not knowing what to say or my words just couldn't come out. My parents would chastise me for being rude and embarrassing them. One time I was at the hospital waiting to have an EEG and this little girl with Down Syndrome came out of NOWHERE asking me weird questions I didn't know the answer too and I just froze. I wanted to tell her to go away and was hoping my mom would or hoping her mom would. I just would freeze when people came up to me out of the blue and started asking me random questions....and then get verbally crucified for being "rude" when I was able to find my words again.

Yes, I can 100% relate to “being a smart aleck” and “using inappropriate tone” or volume...
One thing that happens to me is that I laugh or smile all the time. Even when nothing is funny. Even when something is particularly NOT funny. So sometimes my mom would ask me a question like “Did you do your homework?” And I would say “Yes,” but because I was smiling, it looked like I was lying.
I also freeze when people ask me question stuff out of nowhere. Sometimes I’ll be somewhere and someone will try making small talk, which I’m TERRIBLE at, and I’ll just freeze and then try to force myself to say something and end up saying a bunch of junk.

Chimpanzees will "smile" or "grin" when they are scared. There was picture of a chimpanzee that was being used to test space flight equipment being given an apple. When it first came out, everyone is like, "Aww, how cute! He's even smiling!" But a primatologist or someone with a good knowledge of chimpanzee behavior will tell you, "Nope! That's not a smile. He's scared out of his wits!" I've also heard some psychologists say people will "put on their primate fear faces" when they get scared. Meaning, smiling or grinning.

"The human smile derives from the nervous grin found in other primates. We employ it when there is a potential for conflict, something we are always worried about even under the friendliest circumstances: We bring flowers or a bottle of wine when we are invading other people’s home territory, and we greet each other by waving an open hand, a gesture thought to originate from showing that we carry no weapons. But the smile remains our main tool to improve the mood. Copying another’s smile makes everyone happier, or as Louis Armstrong sang: “When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.”

Reprimanded children sometimes can’t stop smiling, which risks being mistaken for disrespect. All they’re doing, though, is nervously signaling non-hostility.

I seriously doubt that the smile is our species’s “happy” face, as is often stated in books about human emotions. Its background is much richer, with meanings other than cheeriness. Depending on the circumstances, the smile can convey nervousness, a need to please, reassurance to anxious others, a welcoming attitude, submission, amusement, attraction and so on. Are all these feelings captured by calling them “happy”?"

https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet ... they-smile

I was kind of the opposite with the smiling. I took a smile to always be happy or good, so would keep doing what I was doing when someone smiled, even when that isn't what the smile meant. This was particularly an issue with my brother.