Asperger and autism

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If you say you have Aspergers people think you have mild autism or not real autism. Traditionally if you said you have Autism people are shocked you can get a coherent sentence out. Lately if you say you are autistic some people think you are a saint with superpowers. That is why I very rarely use the "A-Words" to describe myself. I usually use euphemisms. I say I am introverted, prefer my own company, am different, individualist etc. I call it disclosing traits.

Being mostly in the closet sucks.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 09 Dec 2019, 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel "disclosing traits" is the proper way to go about it in many cases. And you're not lying at all.

To "disclose" that you have autism or Asperger's can result in negative things happening to you---especially in employment.

It's a real shame that we can't just be open about who and what we are.

Both clichés are very relevant to our situation

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing"

That's sad that we still have to hide our ND from many people. Being old enough to retire sometime soon, I will be disclosing to people on a measured basis and will report the results. After asking an extended family member if she knew about my daughter's diagnosis (she did), I jokingly asked "think I might be on the spectrum?". She didn't answer but started talking about an extended family boy who has been diagnosed. She seemed accepting about my openness of ASD.

I had spent about an hour, total, with the boy some time ago and he struck me as AS. She said he's very intelligent which prompted me to say "ASD has nothing to do with intelligence either way". I realize that statement has a lot of exceptions to it. Do you think the statement is true enough to use as a mantra, when I think someone is going off a stereotyped tangent? I think I am getting to where I can discuss the exceptions.

Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.

Similar deal here back in the 60s and 70s.


Instead of being picked on by NT classmates you will be picked on by NT Teachers/behavioral therapists
We have a member here EzraS who has gone to all special schools, and he reports bullying goes on there also.

Eventually somehow we have to be accepted or at least tolerated by the NT world. That can't happen if we are segregated.

But remember, in the REAL WORLD you need to learn to interact with all types of bullying and torment in order to function in society!! [/sarcasm]

Never mind the fact that as an adult, half my class would be in jail and the rich in society have always has their own private schools, clubs, etc. yet seem to be doing just fine. I was actually a bit depressed thinking about my early childhood: I was such a bright child who was light years ahead of other kids and if conditions were right I would have been VERY successful in life. I remember seeing a counsellor as a child and explaining all I wanted in school was to be left alone (by the bullies), period but back then it was beyond anyone's ability to understand how cruel almost everyone can be.

Those rich private schoolers do not get along fine, they either get addicted to easier available designer drugs, spend years in therapy because they have no grounding, or step on the rest of us because of never having to interact with us they don’t view us as fully human.

Most of the psych labels for mental illness were for rich people. Who else but rich people could afford to travel to Baltimore to see Leo Kanner during the Great Depression and WWII? Who were the refrigerator parents he blamed for autism?

Back then they understood how cruel it was but viewed bullying as boys being boys, a normal part of growing up. You were expected to be a man about it and fight back otherwise it was your fault. You did not need to win, just continue to fight back and take your lumps to gain respect. Being autistic I did not understand those social rules, they were taller and outnumbered me so it seemed illogical to fight back and invite the retaliation that was worse. Best I could think of was passive avoidance. Clueless choice, it did not work.

Yes

You could drop out of school or change schools and hope for a different outcome. When you have Aspergers, you do not need to put up with bullying. Being academically years ahead of your peers and an extreme introvert with Aspergers makes life difficult. Most kids at school are dumb and they act dumb to fit in. Smart kids get bullied and picked on because the majority of dumb kids at school are jealous of other people's success.

Most children do not have a choice of where they go to school, the parents make that decision. The child could run away but most times they can not afford to and are unable to successfully find another place to live. Even if the child does pull it off when they apply to the new school that school district are going to ask for academic records at which point it will be figured out they are runaways which point they are likely to be escorted by police back "home".

I frequently use avoidance and quit things to reduce anxiety and stress. Being an extreme introvert, social anxiety and fear of social situations are common features of Aspergers. Most extroverts are NTs that have friendly, charismatic, out going personalities.

I think it's confusing that I have a "friendly, charismatic, out going" personality. I'm the "some". I can't even be "normal" within a "non-normal" group. I test introverted when stressed, but otherwise am extroverted. Albeit, most of the AS authors I find that are female and write memoirs appear to be my "type" (less introverted). 3 of 4 so far. As I mentioned, my AS-like BFF is highly introverted and I've found 1 book similar to her "type".