Is eating alone in a restaurant now a big taboo?
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That night, like other nights, I was in an Italian restaurant. I ordered nothing out of the ordinary. Glass of white wine and seafood risotto. I was reading my language textbook whilst eating.
I would say though that the restaurant was Downtown, and most people Downtown are young. The restaurant was filled with people in their 20s and 30s, some in their 40s. But mostly people under 40, I would estimate. I find that many people in their 20s and 30s stare at me, and not in a good way. But in restaurants when I eat alone, the stares are a lot more in number and more intense.
I was actually a bit surprised to see young attractive women (the ones I talked to) on a bus in Los Angeles. It always struck me as a very car-centric city, with the only people taking a bus being the very poor and the criminal elements. Maybe the car culture weakened in the last several years. Millennials are allegedly becoming anti-car, from what I heard.
Your food was more "normal" than my food. I had 3 fish tacos, pinto beans, rice, and a Pacifico beer. Also flan and a shot of tequila for dessert. Not cheap, but I was celebrating my first cruise in 6 years, and I hadn't had a proper meal since breakfast. The waitress checked up on me more than I was accustomed to back home, but I attributed it to the local culture, rather than me being alone. I fiddled with my phone while I ate. Other people in the restaurant totally ignored me.
The bus ride back to the hotel was uneventful. It was already dark out, so taking pictures was out of the question. Plus, the alcohol made me relaxed and spaced out. As a result, no one talked to me or looked at me.
Again, pure marketing. It's a mindset deliberately cultivated by the hospitality industry so that people dining alone don't take up a table, even a small one, which could have up to four profit sources - er, I mean valued patrons, of course - seated at it instead.
It also explains why there's no shame or stigma with eating alone on a cruise ship. When you go on a cruise, all regular meals and most snacks are included in your fare, and waitstaff are paid a token wage plus tips. So whether one person or ten people sit at a table, there's no revenue difference to the cruise line: they already got their money. In fact, solo diners are "cheaper", since they have to feed only one person at that meal, rather than two or more.
Last edited by Aspie1 on 06 Dec 2019, 12:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ManWithoutaTribe
Butterfly
Joined: 6 Dec 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 17
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, USA
I've never had trouble, or have felt out of place, and I eat alone most of the time, only occasionally at restaurants. But that's usually fast food or buffets. I suppose that the vibe is different in more formal, sit down and wait for your food restaurants.
I actually prefer going to restaurants alone, since I don't have to keep up chit-chat with whomever. I can eat what I want (I am vegetarian) without anyone paying attention to what I've ordered, how much I tip (I'm a good tipper), etc. And, there is not that awkwardness regarding "where do we go."
I've found a handful of restaurants where I feel comfortable, and stick to those. Love curry/Indian food the most!
I go to restaurants all of the time alone (and some very nice ones at that as I can afford it) and no one has ever stared at me. I don't think it is taboo at all and if anyone does not like it, that is their business, not mine.
Now, I understand that some restaurants have a certain dress codes and you have to conform to them. That would be taboo not to. Beyond that, I have the money and how I want to spend it and with who, again, is my business.
I guess it'd depend on 'strict'. It's not too unusual to see "no flip-flops" or "no shirt no service" in restaurants which aren't in high-class areas. It's a little rarer to see "no t-shirts", but I've run across it once or twice.
Generally, the highest-class restaurants don't have a posted dress code because it's assumed that if you can afford to eat there, you'll already have the requisite social knowledge regarding the appropriate dress code. And I don't think I've ever seen a place which would refuse a patron who was wearing businesswear. (*Maybe* a nightclub, but they have different ideas about the image they want to project.)
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas
that's a very good idea
and for you, a senior discount might be granted
However, I notice that here where I live people really seem to dislike people who eat alone in restaurants. When I eat alone I notice that a lot of people stare at me, especially couples composed of boyfriend/girlfriend or wife/husband. Some would give me "the eye" when they glare at me even.
I looked this topic up on the internet. Apparently some people here say that if they have to eat in a restaurant and they are by themselves, they ring a friend to accompany them, to avoid being ridiculed for eating alone in a restaurant.
Every time I go to a sit-down restaurant, the couples that are seated next to me stare constantly and try to look at me when they think that I do not notice them. Some stare at me then whisper to their partner something, and this process repeats.
A few months ago I ate dinner alone at a French restaurant here. I was seated in between two couples. All four people from both couples kept staring at me and then lowered their voices when talking to their partners. Then they stared again and again. I was close to asking them sarcastically, "May I help you?" or something similar.
Is this something new? I have never heard of how eating alone in a restaurant is considered odd. Is this a new-fashioned taboo thing?
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph