Envy of Younger Achievers

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Hearing about people younger than me in their late teens and early twenties achieving things already such as owning their own business and so on always leaves me feeling like looking back and thinking 'Why didn't I do what they are doing?' and then asking the question of 'Why are they already there right now already at that age?.' At 18, 19 and 20, I was at college and didn't go straight into work because I want to focus on my education and thought at the time that doing a job as well as studying would be too much concentrate on doing two things at once. I can't understand how some people who are uni and working at a job can do two things at once. Then that's now making me feel like I should have been working while studying and earning a bit of money but obviously I didn't for reasons I mentioned. This due to the realisation that I am in work now and earning but not studying anymore. I look at those in their late teens, early twenties and so on and think they already have everything sorted out, at uni, graduated (nearly always at 22), got a great job and career, have a great number of friends and a boy/girlfriend, travelling the world all the time, partying and fun loving into the night, made better life decisions than I did at that age (I wasn't thinking like that then as they are now), have more time to relax and chill until 30 and have no problems in their lives. I feel I have less time to enjoy life and ought to now be thinking seriously about life which is one of the reasons I feel low about that age and envious of those younger than me and a part of me self imposing pressure to do what I think society expects you to do at that age even though I still don't feel ready and don't know when I will, for example: get married, have children, move out of parents home etc.

I haven’t accomplished much either. I’m 59 in five days.

Regrets are useless.

I’m another underachiever. I’m 35 and haven’t found my career path, yet. I’m working on it, though.

I do feel a bit left behind by my younger siblings.

I never even went to university. Don't feel too bad about it since it's always been rare in my family anyway... what I would like is to have a clear career path by now, even if I was at the bottom of it for now. Instead I'm a part timer at a pretty much dead end job. But on the bright side, at least I'm not unemployed and the job is pretty stressless.

I guess I'm a bit older but the feeling doesn't change much, as I find myself being supervised by people 10 years younger. It helps to remind myself:
- Comparing oneself to others is a recipe for disappointment, I should just live the life that suits me, and measure success in my own way.
- Success at work does not equal happiness anyway. Money can't buy happiness.
- I'm not a failed NT, I'm a successful autistic.

Please pardon beginning monologue. Longish.

This is a topic of interest for me. As at 5 yrs old ,had tried to run away, home life was not desireable.
Was trying to glean attn. To a tragic situation .There was none to be had from parents ,or anyone could possibly think of . Crossing the front yard with my bindle attached to a stick .as had seen hobos on TV was trying to upstate my actions in front of living room window. Parents always viewing from there . In the living room . Had to consider my actions , no hope of food nor real plan .Gave up stepped back into the house. There stepped into the living room and announced that had tried to run away. Then went and hid. At 5 yrs old. Learned much. about hiding then in future years. It was my coping method to avoid physical and mental abuse. But would join family to watch TV. In the evening. Where parents could see everyone. So abuse from older siblings was minimized normally.
Abuse from parents was generally.. Generated by siblings through parents . Or directly .If was absent from there presence. BUT......here it became incumbent on me to learn ways to survive .!

Early on learned that if you wanted something you best work for it. Or configure legitimate means to acquire things . No home life. Excelled in school with little effort, no clue why .
Fastest way out of family was military . Then if you could stand up and recite pledge of Allegiance , your hired.
Autistic humans do not do well under uber stress. Saw opportunity to leave . Took it got out early.
And honorably . Physical training and some nursing /medtech .Sorry this is long .... but am trying to say . Situations are just right , you could find a friend? Supportive person, maybe ,possible encouragement and understanding that working for others is least profitable. Way to go if your not going to be going to excessive schooling . Do for yourself, what others cannot do for you . Is what it all amounted to .Did have a few breaks , father was in business for his self, And notwithstanding all the abuse, repoire was best with him. Of all family members . Had a role model. Jobs never lasted more than a few years .Was not even aware of my autism, till many many years later . Should a caught on earlier , People asking what country , I was from , Turns out entirely different planet W.P.
And did identify goals early on , basics housing ,food etc. Learning to drive. A car or form of transport too. Otherwise the situation was unteneable . Was avoiding end of life type stuff . Another concept introduced to me earlier in life by family.
( think of old song,King of the Road, just the words). female version lolz

You were in the Army, and got honorably discharged. That’s pretty good!

You lived an interesting life, I bet.

Always loved “King of the Road.” Sort of wanted that itinerant lifestyle. Sort of didn’t. Had it a bit in my 20s. Lived with a couple of women. Got thrown out once for being a fuddy-duddy.