Eye Contact makes me uncomfortable...

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

skiddlebugz
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 287
Location: Texas

27 Jan 2020, 8:16 pm

Hi Everyone,
So ever since I was little my parents always said to look everyone in the eyes when your discussing something with another. Ever since then i've practiced this specific thing. Now that i'm 21 and have been trying to find how i feel about things like this. To be honest, I'm very uncomfortable making eye contact. I would choose not to but it just seems like it's a "must do" to make that eye contact with others.
I don't want to be uncomfortable anymore!! Is it a must to make eye contact do you think?
Should I stop or do it less often if it is uncomfortable for me?


_________________
Do whatever makes you happy! <3


CarlM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2019
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 831
Location: Long Island, NY

27 Jan 2020, 8:51 pm

A good idea I learned about here, and now have seen elsewhere, is to look at another part of the face. That way it doesn't seem like your avoiding eye contact. It's working for me although I think age has made eye contact easier for me anyway.


_________________
ND: 123/200, NT: 93/200, Aspie/NT results, AQ: 34
-------------------------------------------------------------
Fight Climate Change Now - Think Globally, Act locally.


skiddlebugz
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 287
Location: Texas

27 Jan 2020, 9:18 pm

CarlM wrote:
A good idea I learned about here, and now have seen elsewhere, is to look at another part of the face. That way it doesn't seem like your avoiding eye contact. It's working for me although I think age has made eye contact easier for me anyway.

Oh I see, I might try that actually!! ^_^


_________________
Do whatever makes you happy! <3


PoseyBuster88
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 17 Mar 2019
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 272

27 Jan 2020, 11:41 pm

You can also tell close friends, family, etc. that you can listen better if you look somewhere else, close your eyes, etc...it will seem weird to them, but they should be able to adjust. But their gut feeling will be that you are NOT paying attention if you do that, so it may take some acclimating on their part.

For people you don't know as well and haven't explained that to, you probably do need to at least do the thing where you look at their eyebrow or nose or something. The closer to the other person you are, the closer to their eyes you need to look for them to think it's eye contact. I usually go for between the eyes if I am in a one-on-one conversation. And be cautious about staring at lips, since if they can that's what you're doing it can be interpreted as sexual interest (i.e. you want to kiss them). Or that there's something stuck between their teeth.

At work, you can carry a small notebook and take notes when people talk to avoid most eye contact. Just glance up at their general face region and nod or something every once in a while so they don't start to think you are doodling or writing your fanfic or something, haha. And asking clarifying questions helps reassure them you are listening.


_________________
~AQ 32; not formally diagnosed.~