Why do some people choose to be horrible than kind ?

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B19
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25 Feb 2020, 6:15 pm

I used to believe something like that long ago, (to my great cost) and some probably are. However most seem more likely to be motivated by the dark triad of manipulative and hostile traits that are more abundant as social cohesion is ripped apart more and more.



BenderRodriguez
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25 Feb 2020, 6:16 pm

B19 wrote:
I used to believe something like that long ago, (to my great cost) and some probably are. However most seem more likely to be motivated by the dark triad of manipulative and hostile traits that are more abundant as social cohesion is ripped apart more and more.

I relate very strongly to this too :(


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25 Feb 2020, 6:43 pm

Because "they" are horrible people - it's not a choice. It's how they are. 8O



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25 Feb 2020, 8:42 pm

Id agree with what your all saying about horrible people, because they are as*holes whether they have a screen in front of them or not.

The one that gets me everytime though, and i see it literally everywhere, is where someone says something as a reply (usually on FB), and its humorous to others but mean to the person, its not an attack on the person but using them as the 'cost' to make the joke and get admiration and approval from everyone else, likes, laugh faces ect. When the person who was targeted then defends themselves or replies or anything, they become a target for everyone to jump on because they have already been lowered in their social standing by the 'joke comment' at the start.

Any sort of attempts to show the hypocrisy or illogical comments just lead to more insults and hate, the groupthink is stupid and doesnt seem to be able to change directions once ots moving.

For me personally, i was always taught to treat people the way you expect to be treated yourself and i do treat people respectfully. But i also see the other side of that statement, if someone treats me like crap, by the logic of the statement they must expect everyone else to treat them like crap too, ergo i will give them the same that they give me. Which of course leads to everyone loosing their minds and coming at me for being rude, which is again met with an unbelievable ignorance and deafness when trying to highlight the hypocrisy and double standards of the situation. End result is 90% of the time the person who started the whole situation with rude disrespectful behaviour is left with no consequences and everyone backing them.

Its no wonder I want to exterminate a large portion of the population...



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26 Feb 2020, 12:46 am

sh***y upbringings. parents pass on their misery to their children, and misery loves company.


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26 Feb 2020, 6:15 am

90% of the people give the other 10% a bad rep.



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26 Feb 2020, 11:52 am

Biscuitman wrote:
I have always assumed that those that target others online for harassment or to bully are themselves unhappy with their own life.

They'll be even unhappier if I get my hands on them.



Eimaj98
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28 Feb 2020, 7:16 am

There will always be people like that unfortunately, like the low life scum who stole my bank details and went on a spending spree with my debit card for example :evil:

You cant let people like that get you down though, we can offset them by being kind, honest and decent people.



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08 Mar 2020, 11:39 pm

Spergl0rd wrote:
Id agree with what your all saying about horrible people, because they are as*holes whether they have a screen in front of them or not.

The one that gets me everytime though, and i see it literally everywhere, is where someone says something as a reply (usually on FB), and its humorous to others but mean to the person, its not an attack on the person but using them as the 'cost' to make the joke and get admiration and approval from everyone else, likes, laugh faces ect. When the person who was targeted then defends themselves or replies or anything, they become a target for everyone to jump on because they have already been lowered in their social standing by the 'joke comment' at the start.

Any sort of attempts to show the hypocrisy or illogical comments just lead to more insults and hate, the groupthink is stupid and doesnt seem to be able to change directions once ots moving.

For me personally, i was always taught to treat people the way you expect to be treated yourself and i do treat people respectfully. But i also see the other side of that statement, if someone treats me like crap, by the logic of the statement they must expect everyone else to treat them like crap too, ergo i will give them the same that they give me. Which of course leads to everyone loosing their minds and coming at me for being rude, which is again met with an unbelievable ignorance and deafness when trying to highlight the hypocrisy and double standards of the situation. End result is 90% of the time the person who started the whole situation with rude disrespectful behaviour is left with no consequences and everyone backing them.

Its no wonder I want to exterminate a large portion of the population...


That's been my experience too. I used to always get angry at heroes in movies, wondering why they didn't just do to the bad guys the things that were done to them and were always decent. (Until the movie Taken came out). Society expects a lot from people and when you have no filter, you're going to cop a lot more flak. It forces those of us who are brutally honest to improve our inner thoughts. The only way to get everyone to back you rather than the bad guy is to respond better than the bad guy. It's not fair but then neither are high heels.


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08 Mar 2020, 11:43 pm

Alita wrote:
It's not fair but then neither are high heels.


We need a WP Quote of the Day thread. ^

Alita wins.



jimmyjazzuk
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09 Mar 2020, 3:12 am

Although a shock a first, I dont feel much sympathy anymore with Caroline Flack.

Evidently she was a fairly nasty women who presented a nasty show that preyed and psychologically destroyed young wannabes. She is a martyr now and definitely not someone who attempted to murder their partner, then kill themselves to avoid a guilty verdict !
The Sun killed her!!!11!!1!

And ITV, Schadenfreud specialist extrodinaires are telling us to be kind (please dont connect the dots and force to cancel our cash cow like KYLE)

Radiohead wrote a song about ITV in 2004ish "we suck young blood"

To answer your question. People are horrible because our culture is s**t. Flack got a rebound of what poison she put out in the world.

Probably a bit like this post.



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09 Mar 2020, 9:24 am

Some people are just horrible people all around.

The bullies I knew growing up were the future criminals and wound up going to prison. Today, with the advent of social media, people think they can say anything with impunity. I don't read the comment pages of websites because I know people will write a lot of ugly things. I saw people who said ugly things about my favorite tennis players.



jimmyjazzuk
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09 Mar 2020, 7:04 pm

I would delete my previous post as it is provocative but it wont let me :?



Jakki
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09 Mar 2020, 8:43 pm

B19 wrote:
I spent my childhood years with a foster mother who was a monster to everyone but her "golden child", and especially to me. One of the reasons I entered psychology as a student later on was to try and figure her out, but in those decades there were no answers there, so I specialised in psychophysics instead. Years passed and I came across two books that explained her so well, the first was M Scott Peck's "People of the Lie" (she lied all the time) and the other was Robert Hare's works/studies/books on malignant narcissism. So when I was in my 60s, I could finally understand her poisonous character and behaviour. Same decade I discovered I was an Aspergers person. And that I had celiac disease and was immunodeficient as well. (I wasn't allowed to see a doctor when I was ill as a child; I was berated for pretending to have the various illnesses I had. Golden Child was allowed medical care. Yes, she was a monster, a rich monster, and she used money as a power to control her flying monkeys.

My 60s were a decade of huge discovery for me. And I joined WP!


congrats on making it thus far ....... and TY for being a moderator.
recognition of your upbringing , shows great heart . feeling can identify with some of that.


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10 Mar 2020, 11:14 am

It would never occur to me to be deliberately nasty to others unless they were being nasty to me, first.

The news often has stories of people who have done awful things, and after reading or hearing the stories I just can't understand why these people have been so awful to other people. I am not prone to acting like that for no reason, so I have trouble understanding others who do act that way. :roll:


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auntblabby
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10 Mar 2020, 9:31 pm

it is generally tough at best, for normals to grok sociopaths.