Rigidity, Perfectionism & Anxiety

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There are times when rigidity of thought and perfectionism become very intense. It's like everything in my world feels out of balance and harmony. The world feels strange and threatening and sensory issues become heightened.

In the winter this cluster of symptoms become
accentuated and I become quite depressed and agitated.

Since my diagnosis, some 12 years ago now, I have learned to be with this experience and found mindful ways of living creatively with my difficulties.

I would say that Rigidity and Perfectionism are the most challenging aspects for me in living with autism. I would be keen to hear others experience of managing their Rigidity, Perfectionism.

Wishing you all well.

Rigidity and black-and-white thinking have been the banes of my existence for most of my life.

The man in the video seems to have his life well in hand.  He's a dad and a husband, he plays guitar, he sings, and he has a job. I hope he's doing okay these days.

The video mentioned a three-year study beginning in 2015.  Do you know the results of that study?

Thank you Fnord.

Would you be referring to my BBC interview? It's been a long time since I watched that. If so could you please jog my memory as to what the three year study was all about?

Thank you

I call it being "sensitively-organised." I've often cursed the rigidity of my brain for landing me in trouble - that usually happens when I'm dynamically involved with other people. I hate it when they suddenly change the remit on me as if I could take it in my stride. They usually have no idea how much trouble their changes cause me. I tend to cope by avoiding situations where they might do such things. Another strategy is to quietly detach my interest from getting anything particularly right, almost as if I were on a drunken pub crawl with them, I just see the whole venture as a bit of a joke. I'm usually careful not to make that too obvious, but I'm often thinking "you're running this slipshod farce, so if it goes wrong then it's hardly my duty to fix it for you." I'm willing to help where I can, but to me a lot of it is just a blur. A lot of my anxiety about these things used to arise from my taking it all seriously and feeling too responsible for mucking in. I still feel embarrassed when it's clear that I can't be of much use, but I try not to blame myself so much, I see it more as a mixture of "it's nobody's fault" and "serves you right for not seeing that you've made it impossible for me to be involved."

When others aren't involved I notice that I get sucked into a lot of needless hard labour on account of my own stringent standards and a strange conviction that if I can see how to do a thing I've not been able to do before, I must do it and maximise the yield. I can't seem to do the even most trivial of tasks without a stunning degree of success becoming paramount. The rigidity thing has lessened over the years - I think I've learned to ask questions like "Do I really need to weigh this sugar with 99.99% accuracy?" "Would the world collapse if I just didn't bother to do this at all?" As long as these questions come from my own thinking, as long as I moderate my approach as a result of my own thinking, I can usually make quite a bit of headway. It's often harder if somebody else corrects me, though not always. I think the main thing is always to try to be open to questioning the way I'm working and thinking.

I also think it's important to accept my tendencies for what they are, though not to excess. That perfectionism works wonders that others can only dream of. When I do a thing, I really do it. It gives me a lot of self-confidence to get excellent results and demonstrate over and over how capable and competent I am.