Have you ever just been unrepentant about your ASD?

Post Reply New Topic

I realize that usually when we tell others of our ASD/HFA condition (called Aspergers for so long, in my case), we tend to water it down or downplay it, e.g. "I've made great strides since, but still struggle with nonverbal nuance / find ambiguity in subtle emotional expression..." or "it only becomes more pronounced when I'm stressed", or such mitigation comments.

Unfortunately, more often than not, this has gotten us a derisive response, or rebuke, or flippant attitude, or some veiled hostile or condescending remark.
It's ostensibly b/c of the way society-at-large views psychiatric disorders.

How about if, when people suspect "something's up" and they start treating you in a way that we're all too familiar with or they directly ask you why you have odd mannerisms or something of the kind, you were to simply be unrepentant about it, don't sugarcoat it, just say something like "well, I'm on the autistic spectrum, but at the more high-functioning end - many people are these days, it's not a big deal".
In other words, try to gently tilt it towards it being the other person making a big stink about it, that it's *their* problem (not yours!) and you're not being overly meek.

IF they respond abrasively (which, unfortunately, many people will), you could downplay it (borderline-lie) and say "oh! well I can't say that I've gotten that kind of reaction before". - I know it's not in our nature to be manipulative, but something you need to plant the seeds of doubt there and give the other person cause to think that maybe they're the ones acting unreasonably.

IF they respond by criticism, rebuking, lecturing or such (e.g. "so why don't you just try harder??" or "oh, I see - how long do you intend to continue using that excuse?", or some asinine rebuke on shouldn't you be concerned with how others see you or self-respect or putting others "at ease"... then again, it's best to use a bit of "white manipulation" and reply something like "well, if we want to talk about respect, then you can't really respect somebody who just kowtows to other people's images of how they want them to be; people earn respect for standing up for their principles. The truth is that I'm an honest, decent, hardworking guy with a great sense of humour and I'm very supportive with the people who treat me right."

Hopefully, that will get them to relent, and realize they're the ones being obtuse...but there might always be the odd exception

Of course, it might be tricky during that "late teens to mid-twenties" volatile demographic for young males, where a hostile peer might respond with "are you a f***ng incel / virgin?" or "you must have had a horrible childhood" or whatever silly remark predicated on some cultural stereotype they conjured up in their mind... then all that you owe them is an exaggerated bewildered reply of "wow, I don't know where THAT'S coming from!!"

I can be easily spared by either lack of certain desires or those who are close to me giving it a lot of pass.


But I seriously do feel unrepentant.

Not because of the label or any oddities and in preferences.
But because of the vulnerability that I wouldn't ever allowed to affect anyone's business.

I want to be reliable, I want to be in control of myself, I want to be held accountable and able to take responsibility.
Yet something is holding me back because I can't take it all the time.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Repent: feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one's wrongdoing or sin.

Why would anyone feel shame for being autistic as though they're autism was a wrongdoing or sin?

I ain’t done nothin’ wrong

That’s THEIR problem....you usually get that sort of attitude in high school.

Why should I repent? It is who I am. I never use the fact that I am an Aspie as an excuse. It is not a defect or a crutch. Rather it is a different skill set.

If by "unrepentant" you mean "increasingly unapologetic about your existence", then yes. I do my best to be respectful to other people and I'm starting to learn that if people notice I'm autistic/different and take issue with it that's their problem, not mine. I'm not harming anyone by being a bit "weird" or whatever someone wants to accuse me of. No matter how hard I try I'm not going to be able to act entirely NT, and other people just need to deal with that if I'm not actively being rude or anything.

I don’t even think Asperger’s or autism is something one must “come out of the closet” about.

Being gay, until about the 1980s, was stigmatized, and forced people to “stay in the closet.”

I cannot remember being repentant about it.

Repent of your autism before the Holy Inquisitors beat repentance into you!

(... and a confession out of you, as well...)

As if.

A phrase that I heard here once that I like to use sometimes is "flaming aspie".
Another sentiment I have (which I think of as derived from punk) is "autistic as f**k!, and don't give a f**k what anyone thinks of it."

I’m never repentant about my ASD. I may be repentant about things I say/do/notice/don’t notice because of my ASD, but since having an ASD is something I had absolutely no say in, how can I be repentant of it?

Anyway, I always keep it to “just the facts,” really - I just say “I have autism,” and that’s it (unless they ask more questions, which I also answer factually), no falderal either way about it.

I've always been ashamed of having Asperger's, which is why I prefer not to tell people. I want people to see me as me, not as my diagnosis. Asperger's is not "who I am", it's something I have got. That's the way I deal with it anyway.