How do I describe meltdowns so people understand...

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My most destructive symptom are meltdowns... I cry, I scream, rock back and forth, I hit myself HARD, I feel so emotionally bad during one I do things to land myself in the psych ward... Some of the more knowledgeable people recognize it, but most people don't know why I act like that...

It's sheer psychological torture to me caused by my own mind....

I still can't control it well and people just plain don't understand...

You can’t always make people understand just do your best to convey that you can’t help it. If that doesn’t work there isn’t much you can do. It’s frustrating to deal with

Perhaps you could try a little humor ... ?

Q: How many people does it take to change a light bulb while they're having a meltdown?

A: One!  ONLY ONE!!  And do you know WHY?  Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!  They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!!  They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.  And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS!  But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!  AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!  BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!  IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE!

I'm sorry ... what was the question again?

I have a suggestion,
Just yesterday actually I read a published guide, it's called "Managing Meltdowns". It has lots of explanation and response strategies for meltdowns. There's even an example intervention plan, which is a one-page document you can carry with you to show to first responders if needed, so that they know how to help.
Look it up, I'd really recommend reading it.

I was in a group therapy where I learned to be mean to people and express myself by projecting and abusing them.. I also started to have melt downs when cornered by family members, so now they all despise me and don't want to have anything to do with me! They all blame me for the things I said, and care nothing for what prompted me.

Were you doing this on purpose? I know i occasionally do this too. I mean if your family is like that then it might not be healthy to be around you. Family is supposed to support you no matter what you do. Also it help to know if they are aware of your ASD? IS this happening in Meltdowns. I know I've said things that weren't true, during meltdowns. Anyway, you should try to stop projecting and abusing them if you are aware of it. Also if your family is not a healthy influence on you. You shouldn't be a part of it. Assuming your able to do so you should get out of said family. Also, it helps to remember no one likes to be yelled at. Remember as bad as it is for you when your mid-meltdown it can be bad as well for them. Most of the time when i get into meltdown it's because people are pestering me when i've already told them to leave me alone multiple times. Then when they unleash the beast and decide to leave me alone that just pisses me off even more. Like, If I don't want to do something you insisting on it isn't gonig to make me come. I'm one of the most stubborn people. If I am set on something you can't change my mind. All you are going to do is make me more angry. Atleast my family knows when to back off. I used to suffer badly from something like PTSD where I constantly hyperfocused on my past. I say something akin to PTSD because it doesn't really perfectly fit it. I think i'm starting to move past it anyway.
P.S. is your name supposed to be I Don't know scrambled? idk i read it as i don't know

Yes, you hit the nail on the head - it may not be healthy for them to be around me actually. I don't have the attention span for normal communication. I think I lack in many departments. I was reserved, obedient and barely talked most of my life. Then started working at 19, and got isolated from family for 15 years. Did this group therapy that made me more emotionally detached and to express myself in an abusive harsh way that hurts people. You got my user name correctly - I meant it to say 'I don't know'.

Yeah well generally if you want people to like you you shouldn't do that. But i don't know exactly what you classify as abusive. You should try to express your feelings. But don't come off as angry or confrontational. Do it as calmy as possible. When your upset or angry or yelling, People don't hear you. If you want to patch things up with your family you should try to apologize and try not to be overly abusive.
P.S. You can change your name in the profile settings if you want to change it to something else.

"I'm kicking my own ass! Do ya mind?"