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KT67
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29 Aug 2020, 8:42 am

Nades wrote:
KT67 wrote:
When you grow out of your edge-lord phase, you'll realise that if you're not transphobic, you use people's pronouns and respect them.

I understand that when you're young, it's cooler to be edgy, though.

And when you're young, it's easy to think that the world is going to be set up for you.

Lol - the idea of someone who struggles socially doing well in McDonalds? OK then... :lol:

This site is getting worse and worse for trolls and right wing bigots which will put regular people off coming on here. I think it's due to the fact that it's anonymous so people have no shame in what they're saying & it's online so people really don't know who they're talking to & there's no block button so it's easy to say offensive things and have people in minority groups use them.

Trans women are women.
Trans men are men.
People that don't accept it are transphobes.


The crux of the thread is basically are autistic people being over catered for in today's society to the point where it harms their development and courage to take on challenges that they find intimidating.

The fact you automatically assumed someone can't even flip burgers if they have mild autism seems to be pointing in that direction. You've seriously given up on life if you wouldn't even entertain a burger flipping job for being too much of a challenge.

My employers know I have some social skills problems and I haven't told them about my autism. If I have a problem during the day they just think "he's having one of his moments again" and that's pretty much the end of the issue in their eyes. I don't get punished for it and they usually leave me alone. They don't however make much in the way special treatment. I still work the same grueling hours in unpleasant conditions and it's fine by me.


Maybe that's where you went right - not telling them about your autism in the demographics part of sending in your CV. I suspect that, plus you working in a field where social skills aren't important, is why you're working.

Because there are even coding jobs out there which refuse to hire autistic people if it's down on the form.

Obviously the issue wouldn't be flipping the burgers. The issue would be long lines of angry customers. There are NTs who don't cope with that. It is a notoriously underpaid, undervalued job that's bad for your mental health and has high turnover - but some people are forced into it for economic reasons.

As for giving up on life? Sure. That's why I'm still alive I guess...

Stop seeing everything through an economic lens. Life is about being happy, nice and alive. Oh - and not as shallow as you are helps.


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magz
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29 Aug 2020, 8:45 am

Please, refrain from personal attacks.


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KT67
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29 Aug 2020, 8:47 am

magz wrote:
Please, refrain from personal attacks.


His entire post is being personal against my life and family though.


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magz
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29 Aug 2020, 8:49 am

KT67 wrote:
magz wrote:
Please, refrain from personal attacks.

His entire post is being personal against my life and family though.

I would still love to resolve it in a non-escalating way. PM sent.


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ToughDiamond
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29 Aug 2020, 8:51 am

Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?



Nades
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29 Aug 2020, 8:54 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?


Yes. There is good money in industrial cleaning, asbestos removal and being a bin man can be deceptively well paid. Just because the job isn't pleasant doesn't mean it's not worth doing. A lot of those jobs migration be idealing for someone sufferig from AD too.



magz
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29 Aug 2020, 8:58 am

Nades wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?


Yes. There is good money in industrial cleaning, asbestos removal and being a bin man can be deceptively well paid. Just because the job isn't pleasant doesn't mean it's not worth doing. A lot of those jobs migration be idealing for someone sufferig from AD too.

One of my classmates in primary school wanted to operate septic tanks as his career. He didn't mind the stench, the pay was good, the work wasn't hard.
These are very important, valuable jobs.


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KT67
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29 Aug 2020, 9:00 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?


I guess there isn't if you don't care about your physical or mental health or if you're particularly physically or mentally resisistent...


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ToughDiamond
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29 Aug 2020, 9:21 am

Nades wrote:
Some people can't overcome their problems while a great deal in my eyes can if they where shunted a bit. The main issue I have is AS people wrongly assuming they can't do a myriad of tasks because they've had them done for them with no questions asked and are either in serious self doubt as a result or know they can but like others doing it for them. Both assumptions are destructive long term to the AS sufferer.

There is a happy middle ground in what society can do but when someone with AS assumes they can't do something without even trying.....well that does annoy me a bit.

I can relate to your annoyance at people who don't fix their own problems when it seems they would be able to if they would but make the attempt. But whether or not the harm done by that kind of thing exceeds the harm of failing to recognise the limits of people's abilities, who knows? I don't doubt that you've personally noticed more of the former than the latter, and I support your right to vent about that, but I can see how it might anger those whose experience has been different.

I can't be at all sure, but if I try to weigh up the harm of society carrying a few malingerers against the harm of erring on the other side, personally I feel more concerned about the latter. I'd prefer any "shunting" to be done with caution.



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29 Aug 2020, 9:27 am

KT67 wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?


I guess there isn't if you don't care about your physical or mental health or if you're particularly physically or mentally resisistent...


Health and safety is taken seriously enough for physical health to not be an issue. I work in the steel industry and while accidents happen, they're usually down to the individual. I've had a couple of burns cuts and broken my hand but they were all my fault. You could happily do a lot of seriously ugly jobs and not come to any grief.

Mental health wise, cleaning and silo tank seems like the perfect job for someone with poor social skills, you literally won't have to talk to anyone for most of the day and it's the same for a lot of stright forward jobs.

My issue is that employment is viewed as black and white for a lot of people suffering from AS. Many either can, are currently doing or can't but far to many of the people who say they can't haven't really tried and I feel they would be surprised at the jobs they can actually do if they looked and tried them.

It's not just for jobs, it's for driving, education, social gatherings, public transport, traveling abroad, you name it heard a sagnifcant minority say they can't do it but what a lot have in common is that they never tried so how do they know?



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29 Aug 2020, 9:35 am

It’s a fact. Some people can take non-ideal environmental conditions better than others.

We need septic-tank cleaners, asbestos removers, etc. But working under these sorts of conditions can harm people who are quite sensitive to these conditions. And I don’t mean emotionally. I mean physically. Bodies react different to environments.

I’m not suited for flipping burgers. I knew that, so I pursued office work instead. And I’ve had that sort of job in one place for almost 40 years.



KT67
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29 Aug 2020, 9:46 am

Nades wrote:
KT67 wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?


I guess there isn't if you don't care about your physical or mental health or if you're particularly physically or mentally resisistent...


Health and safety is taken seriously enough for physical health to not be an issue. I work in the steel industry and while accidents happen, they're usually down to the individual. I've had a couple of burns cuts and broken my hand but they were all my fault. You could happily do a lot of seriously ugly jobs and not come to any grief.

Mental health wise, cleaning and silo tank seems like the perfect job for someone with poor social skills, you literally won't have to talk to anyone for most of the day and it's the same for a lot of stright forward jobs.

My issue is that employment is viewed as black and white for a lot of people suffering from AS. Many either can, are currently doing or can't but far to many of the people who say they can't haven't really tried and I feel they would be surprised at the jobs they can actually do if they looked and tried them.

It's not just for jobs, it's for driving, education, social gatherings, public transport, traveling abroad, you name it heard a sagnifcant minority say they can't do it but what a lot have in common is that they never tried so how do they know?


Well if they're filling in forms for every job going the way that I did, they know because they keep getting rejected.

There's very few employers out there who'll see the 'autism' box checked on the list of disabilities and think 'I'm going to take a chance on that person'.

That leaves self-employment - or employment under a boss who doesn't see that as a problem, or lying on a CV, which some autistic people find hard to do - as the only options.


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Nades
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29 Aug 2020, 9:51 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s a fact. Some people can take non-ideal environmental conditions better than others.

We need septic-tank cleaners, asbestos removers, etc. But working under these sorts of conditions can harm people who are quite sensitive to these conditions. And I don’t mean emotionally. I mean physically. Bodies react different to environments.

I’m not suited for flipping burgers. I knew that, so I pursued office work instead. And I’ve had that sort of job in one place for almost 40 years.


I think it's the same for pretty much everyone even those without autism, the only difference is that people with autism generally have a longer list of unsuitable careers but I firmly believe for the vast majority of those with AS who assume they can't work there is a job out there they will like somewhere.

Their confidence to find it if they spent their life being told they're different and/or have been wrapped in cotton wool by all who knows them is a different story.



Nades
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29 Aug 2020, 9:54 am

KT67 wrote:
Nades wrote:
KT67 wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
Nades wrote:
There is nothing wrong with working crappy jobs nobody likes.

Really?


I guess there isn't if you don't care about your physical or mental health or if you're particularly physically or mentally resisistent...


Health and safety is taken seriously enough for physical health to not be an issue. I work in the steel industry and while accidents happen, they're usually down to the individual. I've had a couple of burns cuts and broken my hand but they were all my fault. You could happily do a lot of seriously ugly jobs and not come to any grief.

Mental health wise, cleaning and silo tank seems like the perfect job for someone with poor social skills, you literally won't have to talk to anyone for most of the day and it's the same for a lot of stright forward jobs.

My issue is that employment is viewed as black and white for a lot of people suffering from AS. Many either can, are currently doing or can't but far to many of the people who say they can't haven't really tried and I feel they would be surprised at the jobs they can actually do if they looked and tried them.

It's not just for jobs, it's for driving, education, social gatherings, public transport, traveling abroad, you name it heard a sagnifcant minority say they can't do it but what a lot have in common is that they never tried so how do they know?


Well if they're filling in forms for every job going the way that I did, they know because they keep getting rejected.

There's very few employers out there who'll see the 'autism' box checked on the list of disabilities and think 'I'm going to take a chance on that person'.

That leaves self-employment - or employment under a boss who doesn't see that as a problem, or lying on a CV, which some autistic people find hard to do - as the only options.


It's illegal for employers to discriminate against people with autism. But assuming they are discriminating against you then don't mention it on application. If the job really is a terrible match then quit it and look for a new one. Or alternatively try plastering as it's one of the easiest trades to get into and you can be your own boss.



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29 Aug 2020, 12:26 pm

Think it’s ridiculous to say autistic people are being coddled tbh.

I mean a lot of the things the original post complains about, for example, are things that make life no different for most people, but much easier for a few. The very fact that there’s pushback against people choosing to be nice is proof that no, autistic people aren’t being coddled.

There are ramps or lifts to access almost every public building. Are people in wheelchairs being “coddled”?

There is an option to turn on subtitles on the TV. Are deaf people being “coddled”?

It’s a silly line of argument. Different people need different things to help them achieve what they’re capable of. If you don’t need support, good for you. But if we can make tiny changes that you barely notice but a few people find extremely helpful, I don’t care if you’re a little annoyed - accessibility is more important.



Nades
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29 Aug 2020, 12:47 pm

The_Walrus wrote:
Think it’s ridiculous to say autistic people are being coddled tbh.

I mean a lot of the things the original post complains about, for example, are things that make life no different for most people, but much easier for a few. The very fact that there’s pushback against people choosing to be nice is proof that no, autistic people aren’t being coddled.

There are ramps or lifts to access almost every public building. Are people in wheelchairs being “coddled”?

There is an option to turn on subtitles on the TV. Are deaf people being “coddled”?

It’s a silly line of argument. Different people need different things to help them achieve what they’re capable of. If you don’t need support, good for you. But if we can make tiny changes that you barely notice but a few people find extremely helpful, I don’t care if you’re a little annoyed - accessibility is more important.


The disabilities you mention are very specific. If you're in a wheelchair you face the same challenges as everyone else in a wheelchair, if you're deaf you face the same challenges as all other deaf people, this isn't the same with autism. Some people with mild autism hate loud noises while others dislike silence. Some hate bright lights while others are fine with them. Unless you're going way overboard by making safe rooms then you can't accommodate for it. The issues with going to that extreme is that it makes us look very different and reinforces the stigma we often struggle against.

I disagree too. Learning to drive and getting some form of employment makes a big difference in someone's life. It's not just learning to drive, it's the independance and flexibility it provides with what you can do, when you can do it and being much better able to find a job that's enjoyable.

Having some form of employment gives a sense of routine and interaction with others. It's not just the money. It can make an AS feel more content with their lives and gives them a greater sense of purpose.