Super Self Conscious?

Post Reply New Topic

All my life. Unless I have a specific role to play that I know well, I hate interactions for the most part with people. I finally gave up most of the masking (before I even knew what it was) by just staying away from social interactions. I don't make excuses. I just don't go.

Although initially I was self-conscious and wondered why people didn't like me, I never really felt that I was wrong. I thought everyone else was wrong.

Traven - that is a great song and great video. Thank you for posting.

I sometimes feel like this but I used to feel like it a lot. I feared that I might say something and be (unintentionally) ignored or interrupted and then feel awkward. For some reason the feeling of awkwardness always stings pretty hard. It's strange how an emotion like that can really affect you to the point where you just want to avoid it.
Also when talking in a group I don't always like hearing my own voice pipe up, so I just stay quiet and listen. It doesn't mean I don't like socialising though, but when you're quite quiet and have social anxiety sometimes social situations can be boring, unless you enjoy listening to people.

Socially, I can do ok for short bursts of time, but am quickly exhausted. Then, I begin to say outrageous things, using "shock value" to compensate for my lack of stamina. Inevitably this gets me the label of 'weirdo' from some, but others find me an amusing companion.

But it sucks to have to play a jester

My social skills are terrible and I get worn out very quickly in large group settings. Everyone seems to have a much more relaxed and easier time than me but there is nothing wrong with just taking a chilled out evening at home by yourself too so long as it;s not becoming a habbit.

Thank you for saying that. I recall first thinking this (or something close to this) when I was 5 years old, and it's been something I've always remembered. I'll never understand why virtually the entire human race seems happier to avoid learning truths or seeking improvements because they'd much prefer to never be told (or admit) they were ever wrong about anything.

im not as afraid of what i actually say (its meaning) as i am of stuttering or botching a word

What makes it worse is that people are so polite that they'll rarely give any honest feedback, so I'm essentially playing to a black box...

I often feel like a bat. Blind socially, I use comments and jokes to sound out an environment, find out where the open paths and obstacles are.

A quiet room kills me...yet a busy room soon exhausts me