Dealing with political differences at home

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Hello,

I am an adult on the spectrum. I don't drive, and thus still live with some of my family members, who help me get to my job, etc. The problem is that our political views have become widely divergent over the years -- I am less conservative than they are. It's come to the point that I try not to talk about current events at all with them, which has become a problem as I don't have a large offline social circle, and the current pandemic has kept me apart from those friends and special interest gatherings (which are a few hours away). I still feel a pressing need to talk about my concerns with others, but since my family looks down on them, and an attempt to argue my points would only end in tears for me and yelling from them, I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to constantly unload on my online friends, some of whom have things tougher than I do at the moment. I do not have the finances to move out, nor do I live in a place with public transportation. Help? Thanks.

I feel you, I don't talk politics with my parents at all. And religion... even worse.
I wonder how could you possibly spend more time with people other than your parents... that would be healthy.
Is your inability to drive possible to overcome in some future or is there some fundamental disability behind it?

You could try writing about your concerns on this site. You could post in the haven if you want to talk v/s debate. The haven is sort of protected here, meaning that even if people disagree with what you are saying, they aren't supposed to be harsh there, they are supposed to be supportive.

Now if you are looking for debate, depending on what you wish to discuss, ppr might be the place to go. There are a lot of people here into politics, but ppr is seen by many here as combative. Some don't, I guess it depends on your perspective.

If you want to blow off steam, there is a 'rants' thread around here somewhere as well.

And I don't know if that was helpful or not.

What is it you're looking to discuss? What kind of conversation 'tone' would be your ideal?

I once had a father-in-law who wouldn't stop making inflammatory right-wing political comments, and it was naturally extremely annoying because I was practically a Marxist at the time. Apparently his previous son-in-law had spent a lot of time arguing with him, but nothing had ever been resolved. Indeed, he was never going to concede anything, and I suspect he only said the things he did in order to pick a fight and play a game of one-upmanship. Resisting the temptation to wade in and set him straight always used to stress me out. Eventually I told my wife that if she wanted to visit him that was fine, but that I didn't want him in my home any more. I hated saying that, but she had several times acknowledged that the guy was horrible to me and that he'd never got on with any partner she'd ever had. His wife was just as bad but she didn't talk politics very often, she dissed me in other ways.

My own father also had Tory leanings but he didn't bang on about it or pick fights, so although it was a bone of contention between us, it wasn't anything like as annoying or stressful. Probably it was also because we were used to each other and so he didn't seem like an invader.

So I suppose the best thing is to avoid discussing politics with closed-minded people or those whose only interest in debate is to "win." It's one of those subjects that can easily get thorny. Strange, considering that hardly any of the people who so hotly argue about it have the slightest influence on government policy or on the people they talk to.

I currently have a friend who has very different political opinions to mine. He occasionally tries to raise political issues with me, but so far I've managed to sidestep it. It's strange because in all other ways he seems to be a fairly decent chap.

Thanks for the replies. I did attempt to learn to drive in high school but anxiety issues proved too much of a distraction, especially when I was not working with people I knew. We had been thinking about going to a driving school this year just so I could learn enough to get to work, Walmart, etc. on my own, but the pandemic has both closed them down and left a backlog of high schoolers in need of their permits/licenses, so that probably won't be on the agenda for a while.

So aside from my parents, there aren't a lot of people I can spend time with in "meatspace" right now. One of them will never forgive me for not voting Trump the first time around, and I'm thinking of just going ahead and doing that this year to help keep the peace in the house. Given how badly things are going right now in the world, I'm not sure that would make things any worse.

My main problem is a feeling of helplessness. Since I do not want to embarrass/shame my family and get in trouble, I cannot do a lot of social media posting on topics that concern me, and I cannot go out and protest/advocate in person because there would be no one willing to drive me. I fear a paper trail if I try to make donations to places more politicized than, say, a local homeless shelter. I hope this helps in terms of advice that can be given.

I’m also dealing with political differences at home. We just disagree, which is fine. What’s not fine is them harassing me about it. I’d advise voting for who you want and then telling a little white lie about it. It’s none of their beeswax anyway.

As far as driving goes, I can see how that’s not happening right now, but could in the future. I invested the money to learn from a school because my driving anxiety was also very high. It was money well spent. Until then, you can study your state’s driver manual, etc.

I don’t really know what to tell you about not being able to express yourself politically. Maybe instead of focusing on the politics, focus on the issues. It sounds like you already have an idea about that when you mention homeless shelters. Politics is a real crap show right now anyway. Good luck.

I thought the way a person votes was supposed to be confidential. Assuming they're not insisting they take a look at your postal ballot (which would be overbearing in the extreme, and possibly illegal), maybe vote how you want to vote and just tell them you voted for Trump. I hate lying but if somebody was trying to force me to vote according to their choice, I'd use all means at my disposal to stop them, including lying to them. That person has got one hell of a cheek.

That's a problem that can be fixed. If you post your political views on the politics forum, I'll be happy to correct them.

Is there a belief behind these words that your and only your political views are "correct"?
If yes, I would consider it a serious problem.

No. I was joking. She claimed the problem was the divergence in views so I thought it would be funny to offer to help make them less divergent. It wasn't my intention to claim anyone's political views are wrong.

It's often wise to indicate intention of joking.
After all, we're Aspies, we tend to interpret words literally by default.

A bicycle was my car substitute for decades. It is not much use unless you are fit and comfy in traffic, but it is easy to increase your range by 10% a week until you are. Fitness brings many benefits, including resilience in illness and better moods. You can even get bicycle instruction in the open air.
Finding social life may still be a challenge, though. A lot of progressive meetings have moved on-line. Have you looked there?

My mom, my NT sister, and I can all relate to this. We are registered Democrats who voted for Hillary Clinton back in 2016, but in the months leading up to Election Day, a male relative tried getting the three of us to change our vote and vote for Trump.

His effort was in vain.