I know this sounds weird and all, but I have recently discovered about myself that "I" dont really have a perception of I. Someone pointed this out to me the other day. I never say how something affects me, only we, and by we I mean my family. I am 29 years old and live with my folks and younger sister. Recently my parents have been fighting and divorce has been spoken a few times. This has about torn my world up. I guess I am just so use to the we instead of I. I now realize that "I" am going to have to start worrying about myself and less about how my decisions are going to affect my family as a unit because soon there may be no family to be apart of. I have been having a really difficult time during all this fighting because to me "I" dont exist without the "we". I live at home, work for my parents, I am not a freeloader I practically run all the day to day aspects of the house from clerical duties for their business to housecleaning. Maybe I have done to much in their lives and I need to get out and away and finally create the "I" that I am so desperatly missing. My only problem is that my whole life has been wrapped around them and it is so hard to let go. I am not only emotionally tied down here but financially as well with a large majority of the bills being my own that are for their stuff. Things have calmed down here and maybe they can work things out, but as far as my part I am going to start making plans for "I" to make my own life away from them. By the way they have no idea about my AS. I only learned about it a year ago and I have yet to tell them.
20 May 2008, 10:34 pm
