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What Do You Do All Day/Night?
Go To Work 40%  40%  [ 4 ]
I'm a Homemaker 10%  10%  [ 1 ]
I work part-time 20%  20%  [ 2 ]
I lie in bed all day and do nothing 20%  20%  [ 2 ]
I'm addicted to illegal drugs or alcohol 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm contemplating suicide 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm starting a business 10%  10%  [ 1 ]
I'm in school or training for a job/career 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 10

DesertWoman
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27 Sep 2020, 5:18 pm

I've been bloated for two months since I lost my 24th job this past summer. I just lost my 25th job.

I've tried to be independent and make a life for myself. My parents don't respect me.

I'd like to write a book about my experiences. I've read a lot in my life and I'm a good writer.

If I can't write, I have nothing else to do. I have limited funds, I don't work, and I have no friends.

I have no children and I don't have my own dog or cat. I've spent enough time in front of the television and honestly after being trained in so many things I'd much rather use my days more productively.

Am I just a waste of space on this Earth? Is that what everyone wants me to say? Does it feel good to treat me rudely?
I have a brain and I like using it. Why is that a problem? I'm not holding anyone else up, am I? Don't throw things back in my face. How would you like it if someone did that to you?



B19
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27 Sep 2020, 5:44 pm

Do you think that joining a group for other aspie women would be helpful? You seem so alone..



starkid
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27 Sep 2020, 5:48 pm

I'm not sure what kind of response you want to your thread.

None of the poll options apply to me. I spend most of my day studying foreign languages, online, or exercising. Basically doing whatever I want, hobbies.

I don't work a job and I don't want to at this point; jobs are stressful, most don't pay enough, and all the interpersonal BS involved makes them very uninteresting. I worked hard to get a good education, then trained myself in a career I could do from home. That all failed, and I don't really care or feel bad about it.

The way industrialized societies are structured, it's inevitable that some people, even if they aren't severely disabled, won't be able to function in jobs and other things. That's out of my control, and I value enjoying myself and achieving my own goals more than I value achieving a typical adult lifestyle, so I'm more or less at peace with it.



Dear_one
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28 Sep 2020, 10:08 am

I spend most of my time wondering how to communicate, and quite a bit of it just surfing and hoping to find inspiration. I'm retired, but even building a successful prototype showing how to simplify common machinery didn't impress the industry. Now, I mostly try to write, but I'm also working on photography and regaining verbal proficiency. This time last year, I was putting a new roof on my house, but this year I'm just trying to get ready for winter. Preparing food from scratch takes a chunk of time, too.
"Life is what happens while you are making other plans."
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28 Sep 2020, 10:57 am

(•) Go To Work
(•) I'm a Homemaker
(•) I'm starting a business
(•) I'm in school or training for a job/career

:D


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KT67
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28 Sep 2020, 11:12 am

None of the above.

I don't get paid because society doesn't see what I do as useful. And doesn't want me for anything it does see as useful.

However I make sure I'm always productive.

That said I have long lie ins when it's autumn and winter. My theory is that this is natural for humans and our 9-5 is a modern adaptation. I wake very early in summer.


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ToughDiamond
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28 Sep 2020, 11:20 am

The option that most nearly applies to me on that poll is homemaker, but it would be misleading for me to check that box without further explanation. My wife and I share homemaking responsibilities, but that work doesn't take up the lion's share of our time. In a sense those chores are a necessary evil (though not really all that evil, they can just be tedious). So I encourage us to use out ingenuity to minimise the necessary labour, and we both spend more time doing what we like than doing the chores, though on a bad day the chores might take over.

So, as far as activities go, what defines me is the optional tasks I perform. I don't much care whether they're part of the homemaking thing or not, as long as they're interesting. Designing a protocol that renders making the breakfast as easy as possible - is that homemaking or is it rebelling against homemaking? A lot of what I do is like that - cleverly-applied laziness leading to easier and more efficient ways of getting boring jobs done. Don't work harder, work smarter. A good way of seeing my main "vocation" in life is this: I watch out for anything that makes me feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable, and then try to design and test ways of mitigating the discomfort.

Beyond that, I have a few "special interests" such as honing my computer to perfection, studying how to beat Windows 10 into submission in case I ever move on to it, reading aloud to my wife, finding and watching videos (usually movies, documentaries, and TV series) and sound recordings (music and spoken word). I spend quite a bit of time maintaining my personal comfort and health - exercise, fresh air, teeth cleaning, applying ointment to mosquito bites, scrubbing my skin to stop it feeling itchy and clammy.

I also put a lot of time into social interaction. Naturally I spend time with my wife, either co-operating on shared projects (some of which are homemaking, others aren't) or just watching a movie together. We barely have a "real" social life outside the house because of the virus and our ASD natures, but we have online stuff - I keep in touch with my son and sister who are far away, and exchange comments with friends on social media. A lot of my online social interaction is to do with support groups - mostly technical ones but there's WP as well.

I also try to keep up playing the guitar and singing, in the hope that it'll be safe to actually jam with other musicians and perform live with them one day, and if the pandemic continues I'll probably record a few "live performances" and upload those online.

I think that's pretty much got the gist of what I do with myself these days. Sorry for the long explanation, but if I'd just ticked "homemaker" then it wouldn't really have explained what I do.

I don't understand what the thread title has to do with the thread - "I don't need to be taught a lesson." I'll see if I can figure it out before somebody explains it. Don't hold your breath though.



Dear_one
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28 Sep 2020, 11:43 am

Oh, yes, I also ride my bike five miles most days to help stave off depression. I now go to zoom meetings about twice a week. I have a visitor for conversation about once a week.
I am also confused about the title of this thread.



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28 Sep 2020, 2:38 pm

DesertWoman wrote:
I've been bloated for two months since I lost my 24th job this past summer. I just lost my 25th job.

I've tried to be independent and make a life for myself. My parents don't respect me.

I'd like to write a book about my experiences. I've read a lot in my life and I'm a good writer.

If I can't write, I have nothing else to do. I have limited funds, I don't work, and I have no friends.

I have no children and I don't have my own dog or cat. I've spent enough time in front of the television and honestly after being trained in so many things I'd much rather use my days more productively.

Am I just a waste of space on this Earth? Is that what everyone wants me to say? Does it feel good to treat me rudely?
I have a brain and I like using it. Why is that a problem? I'm not holding anyone else up, am I? Don't throw things back in my face. How would you like it if someone did that to you?


I feel ya, lady.

The public, generally, is stupid. Why do you think this country is governed by a reality show shyster? His opponent, for the upcoming election, isn’t much better. As for a waste of space, as far as the NT public in general is concerned, we are exactly that: a waste of space.

I’m toward the end of life. I no longer care. What little musical talent I had, as well as computer technical prowess or effectiveness as a librarian is gone, if it was ever there in the first place. I’m just marking time until I get a visit from the angel of death.

The only advice I give nowadays is learn to lie, cheat and steal, since that’s the only way you’ll get ahead. :skull:



whatacrazyride
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28 Sep 2020, 11:35 pm

In a normal situation, I go to work. I work, work, work. Then I play music; I play in a band and play at two churches (drums and bass). But right now, I lay around and do nothing because I'm still in the hospital; I have been here 52 days so far, so choices, choices. I might lose my job because of being in the hospital so much (already six months total this year!) and I will spiral downward if that happens. I don't need a lesson either; I wish I could teach my body a lesson to stay healthy for a sustainable amount of time.



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29 Sep 2020, 9:37 am

I'm considering starting my own business selling loom-knitted goods at a flea market. I'll be doing something I love with the repetition that I crave and making money selling the finished results.


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Fnord
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29 Sep 2020, 9:43 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I'm considering starting my own business selling loom-knitted goods at a flea market. I'll be doing something I love with the repetition that I crave and making money selling the finished results.
Ooo ... A nice, warm, and heavy wool blanket would be perfect!

:D


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ToughDiamond
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29 Sep 2020, 6:52 pm

Dear_one wrote:
I am also confused about the title of this thread.

My guess is that the answer is in the 5th paragraph, about having watched enough television. I presume that was educational programmes, and the OP is tired of learning how to do things without getting the chance to do anything. The original post raises several interesting ideas. The overarching theme appears to be what one is supposed to do with one's life, and touches on the notion that the OP has been judged harshly for not following one of the commonly-approved paths of existence.

At times like this I always remember that movie in which an Eastern spiritual type explains that you could spend your entire life doing little else but look for a perfect example of a particular flower, "and it would not be a wasted life." Personally I've often been haunted by a feeling that I "should" be doing something more high-powered or conventional rather than just making myself as content and comfortable as possible, but I've yet to see a good explanation as to why that's so, and I always feel better when I remember that movie quote and so get my feeling reinforced that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you're doing what you like and harming nobody.



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30 Sep 2020, 5:10 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
<snip> Personally I've often been haunted by a feeling that I "should" be doing something more high-powered or conventional rather than just making myself as content and comfortable as possible, but I've yet to see a good explanation as to why that's so, and I always feel better when I remember that movie quote and so get my feeling reinforced that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you're doing what you like and harming nobody.


You are probably getting that feeling because seven billion people are still pretending that most of their lifestyles are OK, when overall, we are swiftly killing the planet. We have already written the end of many species in the fossil record, and the glaciers, which used to moderate and direct the weather are melting away like ice in July. To live without harming anybody is next to impossible if you are using commonly available products and housing.



ToughDiamond
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30 Sep 2020, 8:40 pm

^
Well yes, being absolutely harmless is likely impossible, so strictly speaking I should have included a cop-out clause such as "where reasonably practicable." It's been said that humans are a threat to one another by virtue of their existence in such numbers. I'm content not to get it perfect.

As for that nagging feeling of somehow letting self and others down by not following any particular popular path to "bettering myself," society does indeed keep reinforcing that message and I'm not sure any individual ever completely transcends their cultural conditioning, which is probably why I so strongly dislike those messages when I hear them - if I were 100% free of such crap inside my mind then I'd probably just calmly think "what a strange ideology." But I also think ASD plays a part, because I know how my "sticky brain" can keep me focussed on one thing at the expense of all else - knowing that and having experience of its downside many times over is likely to have led to a feeling that no matter what I do, I'm at risk of discovering later that I'd have been better off using executive function to better monitor the overview so that other things I wanted to do didn't get neglected. I'm forever finding myself thinking "oh yes, dammit, I was going to do that and now it's too late."



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30 Sep 2020, 9:18 pm

I can't pick just one option.

I'm starting a business; I Go To Work, when not at work I lie in bed all day and do nothing, I'm addicted to illegal drugs or alcohol; I'm contemplating suicide


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