The site "The Neurotypical". What do you think?

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Joe90
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14 Oct 2020, 8:47 pm

Clueless2017 wrote:
I am relatively new in this forum...It was recommended as a place where i may find support...Seeking a little understanding, in case i may needed it...Though to be frank, what i really seek is not to be understood but to better understand my beloved husband...Who i am certain is an undiagnosed Aspie...After reading this thread about other sites where Aspies are 'demonized' (for lack of a better word)...I confess that during my courtship of 1 year and 8 months to my now husband, I mistakenly suspected that he was a narcissist...I even bought me a book on the topic!...Sadly, sometimes my Aspies' behavior made him appear like a narcissist...Overtime, i realized it was all a gross misunderstanding from my behalf...And i was just plain ignorant--and still am--about the way in which my husband's brain is wired...Suffice to say, i am forever grateful to God that i never felt compelled to join any of those sites where hatred is spread...And more grateful that i was directed here...I am certain that if those people in those sites had more knowledge and education on the topic of autism, they would think differently and would be here instead...God bless you all!! !...I do like you...So much so, i married one of you... :heart: :heart: :heart:


You took the time and effort to understand your husband. That's a good thing. Not ignorant at all. :heart:

Welcome to WP. :heart:


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cyberdad
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14 Oct 2020, 8:50 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
As an NT I don't endorse that site or hate anyone?

Is it possible to have the site taken down?


I sent an email to Crazy Domains (the host of this site) a couple months ago requesting it be taken down when I ran across it, but I never received a response.


A lot of organisations like facebook and tinder have a complaints link where you fill in a proforma it auto-generates a response but judging from complaints generated from the complaints the host rarely takes it seriously.

There are calls in Australia for Tinder to be taken to court as women who allege sexual assault claim Tinder took their complaints but never acted on them as they are trying to avoid bad publicity.

It could be possible Crazy Domains might be playing the same game.



ASPartOfMe
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14 Oct 2020, 8:55 pm

Those sites appeal to people with a chip on their shoulder. Their relationship has failed, maybe because their partner does things they do not understand and did not expect. Relationships usually end because of mistakes on both sides or just incompatibility. People who join these sites are looking to be told they did nothing wrong it is all the autistic partner's fault. This absolves them of any blame, or need for self-reflection and effort to improve.

These sites give them what they want. They often use real studies and legitimate descriptions of autism and interpret them in the most negative way possible usually saying we have no empathy are manipulative narcissists. Autistics lack of, or different social skills usually preclude us from being narcissists. Our hyperfocus does often get misinterpreted as selfishness. Probably a number of these members partners are actually narcissists, if the member says their partner is an aspie there is no way to prove them wrong.

Going to this site and saying that this is NT's think of us is like using a KKK site to determine what white people think of black people. Yes we are often misunderstood but most NT's don't spend all day obsessing about how evil we are, they have a life to live.


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Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 14 Oct 2020, 9:05 pm, edited 3 times in total.

ASPartOfMe
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14 Oct 2020, 8:59 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
I am relatively new in this forum...It was recommended as a place where i may find support...Seeking a little understanding, in case i may needed it...Though to be frank, what i really seek is not to be understood but to better understand my beloved husband...Who i am certain is an undiagnosed Aspie...After reading this thread about other sites where Aspies are 'demonized' (for lack of a better word)...I confess that during my courtship of 1 year and 8 months to my now husband, I mistakenly suspected that he was a narcissist...I even bought me a book on the topic!...Sadly, sometimes my Aspies' behavior made him appear like a narcissist...Overtime, i realized it was all a gross misunderstanding from my behalf...And i was just plain ignorant--and still am--about the way in which my husband's brain is wired...Suffice to say, i am forever grateful to God that i never felt compelled to join any of those sites where hatred is spread...And more grateful that i was directed here...I am certain that if those people in those sites had more knowledge and education on the topic of autism, they would think differently and would be here instead...God bless you all!! !...I do like you...So much so, i married one of you... :heart: :heart: :heart:



You took the time and effort to understand your husband. That's a good thing. Not ignorant at all. :heart:

Welcome to WP. :heart:

^^^^
This


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cyberdad
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14 Oct 2020, 9:01 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:

Going to this site and saying that this is NT's think of us is like going to using a KKK site to determine what white people think of black people.


I think we need to acknowledge the site is open for all and will be viewed by autistic people. You can't stop people being curious and then getting triggered by the content. That's why closing the site might still be an option (if that's at all possible)



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14 Oct 2020, 9:22 pm

cyberdad wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:

Going to this site and saying that this is NT's think of us is like going to using a KKK site to determine what white people think of black people.


I think we need to acknowledge the site is open for all and will be viewed by autistic people. You can't stop people being curious and then getting triggered by the content. That's why closing the site might still be an option (if that's at all possible)

The site might be canceled but another one will pop up. There will always be people who hate who we are that can never be censored out. If it is not a website it is a random bully on the street. I am not saying don't be angered and hurt by them I am saying don't let them define NT's, don't let them win by messing you up.

They are one website, they are not the Autism Speaks of the 2000s, nor are they Generation Rescue that have money and celebrity behind them that do real harm to autistic people.


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14 Oct 2020, 9:39 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
The site might be canceled but another one will pop up. There will always be people who hate who we are that can never be censored out. If it is not a website it is a random bully on the street. I am not saying don't be angered and hurt by them I am saying don't let them define NT's, don't let them win by messing you up.

They are one website, they are not the Autism Speaks of the 2000s, nor are they Generation Rescue that have money and celebrity behind them that do real harm to autistic people.


There are NTs in my daughter's school who bully her who would find this funny. I will also send a complaint to the host to take this site down,



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14 Oct 2020, 9:48 pm

cyberdad wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
The site might be canceled but another one will pop up. There will always be people who hate who we are that can never be censored out. If it is not a website it is a random bully on the street. I am not saying don't be angered and hurt by them I am saying don't let them define NT's, don't let them win by messing you up.

They are one website, they are not the Autism Speaks of the 2000s, nor are they Generation Rescue that have money and celebrity behind them that do real harm to autistic people.


There are NTs in my daughter's school who bully her who would find this funny. I will also send a complaint to the host to take this site down,


I sent my email last month to [email protected], but I’m guessing that’s an email they never check, so you might want to try another email address as well if you can find one.



cyberdad
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14 Oct 2020, 10:12 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
The site might be canceled but another one will pop up. There will always be people who hate who we are that can never be censored out. If it is not a website it is a random bully on the street. I am not saying don't be angered and hurt by them I am saying don't let them define NT's, don't let them win by messing you up.

They are one website, they are not the Autism Speaks of the 2000s, nor are they Generation Rescue that have money and celebrity behind them that do real harm to autistic people.


There are NTs in my daughter's school who bully her who would find this funny. I will also send a complaint to the host to take this site down,


I sent my email last month to [email protected], but I’m guessing that’s an email they never check, so you might want to try another email address as well if you can find one.


ahhh I get put through to the Australian site which is .com.au....



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14 Oct 2020, 10:27 pm

I just finished a live chat, and apparently some people higher up are going to take a look at the site and make some decisions. So there’s some progress.



cyberdad
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14 Oct 2020, 10:30 pm

ok! that's good news



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15 Oct 2020, 5:18 am

I agree this type of site is damaging - because The Neurotypical sounds like a legit sort of name, it sounds kind of scientific, so people may not be aware how biased it is. They may think those articles are based on genuine research
8O



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15 Oct 2020, 5:25 am

MrsPeel wrote:
I agree this type of site is damaging - because The Neurotypical sounds like a legit sort of name, it sounds kind of scientific, so people may not be aware how biased it is. They may think those articles are based on genuine research
8O


Exactly, this is why we need to act on it, to prevent others from becoming misled. I've been diagnosed with Asperger's since I was 8, I've been in a successful relationship with an NT guy for 6 years, but even I'm starting to question my own empathy levels and worrying that I'm really some sort of psycho. So if it's having a negative impact on me, an "experienced" Aspie, then God only knows what sort of an affect it could have on allistics and the newly diagnosed or parents with Aspie children.


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15 Oct 2020, 5:51 am

To be honest, and with hindsight looking at my own life, I can see that many aspects of AS can adversely affect relationships and child-rearing, especially if one is oblivious to one's own neurodiversity and how it affects ones family.

But that site is really out of line in so many ways:
- It concentrates entirely on the negatives of autism/Aspergers, with no recognition that we share positive traits also.
- It implies that nobody on the spectrum has developed past a certain point, for instance that none of us are capable of critical thought or self-reflection or the ability to recognise the needs of others.
- Overall it paints autists in a similar vein to narcissists in terms of the damage we do to our loved ones, when in terms of intent, autism is poles apart from NPD.
- There is no recognition that "it takes two to tango" - and some of the issues raised might be ameliorated by better understanding on the part of the NT partner.

I have no problem with the concept of a site supporting survivors of abusive relationships. But it is so unjust to single out aspies as likely abusers - or to stick a "likely Aspergers" label on an abuser because you've heard we have no empathy so you think it fits...
:evil:



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15 Oct 2020, 8:00 am

cyberdad wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
The site might be canceled but another one will pop up. There will always be people who hate who we are that can never be censored out. If it is not a website it is a random bully on the street. I am not saying don't be angered and hurt by them I am saying don't let them define NT's, don't let them win by messing you up.

They are one website, they are not the Autism Speaks of the 2000s, nor are they Generation Rescue that have money and celebrity behind them that do real harm to autistic people.


There are NTs in my daughter's school who bully her who would find this funny. I will also send a complaint to the host to take this site down,

From the outside it would seem your daughters school as do too many others tolerate bullies.


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15 Oct 2020, 8:55 am

I don't hate "neurotypicals" and not all "neurotypicals" would agree with the things said on that website either.

Anyone can share their opinions on the net, which is what the majority of that website is made of, and gather round like-minded folks to reinforce it and make it sound like truth. It's not.

If you don't like something you see on the net, there's always the option of simply ignoring it.