I feel ashamed for having some symptoms of ASPD

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FranzOren
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14 May 2022, 8:20 pm

I had antisocial revenge against those who made fun of my atypical development, but I made a choice not to do that, because I will go to prison if I did. I am sorry, I have some symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and depression after all this.

I made the right choice to forgive my former bullies as well, because they were children themselves and I believe in second chances, and trust that they changed as they got older, but what they did to me caused me so much emotional pain.



kraftiekortie
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14 May 2022, 8:23 pm

What you did was very smart.

Why have shame for something that doesn’t impose itself on other people?



Mountain Goat
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14 May 2022, 8:25 pm

Forgiving and letting go brings release.
You may find that some did not realize that they were bullying when they were young.



FranzOren
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14 May 2022, 8:33 pm

I agree. I just feel ashamed that I was this close to becoming the psycho if I slaughtered those who made fun of my atypical development, but it's not okay for them to make fun me for having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Learning Disorder Unspecified, and it's very painful to me.



FranzOren
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14 May 2022, 8:36 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
What you did was very smart.

Why have shame for something that doesn’t impose itself on other people?


Can you explain it what you mean by that?

It's just that it's not okay to have psychopathic traits, but it got those traits from people who I feel betryed me and bullied me for being developmentally different. That is where I got the symptoms of Conduct Disorder Unspecified from.



FranzOren
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14 May 2022, 8:44 pm

I am sorry, I have history of serious anger issues as well after all that. I hope that I am thinking clearly.



kraftiekortie
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14 May 2022, 9:04 pm

I said it was smart for you not to take revenge upon your bullies—but, instead, to move on from that.

I was bullied for the same reasons you were bullied.



FranzOren
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14 May 2022, 9:19 pm

I am sorry, I misunderstood you completely. I agree.

Thank you!