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ASPartOfMe
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27 Dec 2020, 12:22 am

Back before I knew I am autistic and even for some time afterward, I would have told you I was very introverted. I was happy without human connection, while most human connection was stressful. My 23,000+ WP posts tell a different story. What it tells me it is certain types of human connection I am happier without or at least a lot less of. The types of human connection that rely on nonverbal communication and sensory input of having other humans physically near me.


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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


Clueless2017
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27 Dec 2020, 2:22 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Back before I knew I am autistic and even for some time afterward, I would have told you I was very introverted. I was happy without human connection, while most human connection was stressful. My 23,000+ WP posts tell a different story. What it tells me it is certain types of human connection I am happier without or at least a lot less of. The types of human connection that rely on nonverbal communication and sensory input of having other humans physically near me.

... ... ...
What you state above, i am not understanding...Would you be so kind to clarify for this clueless NT???...Do you favor or reject nonverbal communication???...Do you favor or reject having humans physically near you???...Thank you in advance... :D



ChiefEspatier
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29 Dec 2020, 6:19 pm

A substantial proportion of the autistic population is anxious and depressed in direct connection to them being forced into an introverted life. Please don't be mislead by people who think it isn't a substantial mental health issue. The science on this one is clear, if you stifle an extrovert things will end badly.



Dial1194
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01 Jan 2021, 7:38 am

While I'm an introvert myself, I can see that being extroverted and autistic could be potentially extremely stressful; the desire to interact with people running into the problem of being more likely than average to be not all that great at it (thus leading to increased chances of negative interactions).

Of course, not all aspies are terrible at social interaction, but it is something of a stereotype for a reason. I really sympathize with extroverted aspies who run into this problem; it's an extra kick in the guts when you're already down.



kraftiekortie
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01 Jan 2021, 7:43 am

Correct me if I’m wrong:

ASpartofme prefers the company of humans over isolation....but prefers the company to be in the form of online communication, rather than in-person contact....though he doesn’t mind in-person contact, either, but in relatively small doses.

Similar to me.



ASPartOfMe
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01 Jan 2021, 12:01 pm

Clueless2017 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Back before I knew I am autistic and even for some time afterward, I would have told you I was very introverted. I was happy without human connection, while most human connection was stressful. My 23,000+ WP posts tell a different story. What it tells me it is certain types of human connection I am happier without or at least a lot less of. The types of human connection that rely on nonverbal communication and sensory input of having other humans physically near me.

... ... ...
What you state above, i am not understanding...Would you be so kind to clarify for this clueless NT???...Do you favor or reject nonverbal communication???...Do you favor or reject having humans physically near you???...Thank you in advance... :D

As kraftie wrote I do better communicating in a forum like this then in “real life” because there is no non verbal communication involved.

Prior to finding out I was on the spectrum and still now I felt uncomfortable with people around me. I felt that was introversion or shyness and mistook it for not wanting to communicate much with others. Now that I am here often several times a day I have found out the issue was not disliking communication with other people, it is doing it in person.

When there are other people around I have to deal with non verbal commination which is said to involve 70 to 90 percent of all communication. Being Autistic this is not innate. It involves multitasking which I am not good at. If people are really close sensory issues can also get involved.


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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


Clueless2017
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01 Jan 2021, 12:20 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Back before I knew I am autistic and even for some time afterward, I would have told you I was very introverted. I was happy without human connection, while most human connection was stressful. My 23,000+ WP posts tell a different story. What it tells me it is certain types of human connection I am happier without or at least a lot less of. The types of human connection that rely on nonverbal communication and sensory input of having other humans physically near me.

... ... ...
What you state above, i am not understanding...Would you be so kind to clarify for this clueless NT???...Do you favor or reject nonverbal communication???...Do you favor or reject having humans physically near you???...Thank you in advance... :D

As kraftie wrote I do better communicating in a forum like this then in “real life” because there is no non verbal communication involved.

Prior to finding out I was on the spectrum and still now I felt uncomfortable with people around me. I felt that was introversion or shyness and mistook it for not wanting to communicate much with others. Now that I am here often several times a day I have found out the issue was not disliking communication with other people, it is doing it in person.

When there are other people around I have to deal with non verbal commination which is said to involve 70 to 90 percent of all communication. Being Autistic this is not innate. It involves multitasking which I am not good at. If people are really close sensory issues can also get involved.

... ... ...
Thank you for taking the time to clarify for me...I now clearly understand what you said...The reason that i asked for clarification is that my beloved (yet undiagnosed Aspie) husband is very much like some of you here...

Since our courtship, i would notice that he was chatty over the phone with long-distance friends and family...Also, i would perceived his discomfort when i was around him physically...To date, i still perceive some discomfort when i am close to him but much less frequently...So, i had reached the conclusion that my beloved husband is the most sociable of introverts...When, in fact, he is still a loner in practical terms...Overtime, he has become more accustomed to having me around...

How much more blessed i feel that my beloved husband has included ME only before his presence on a daily basis...And for ME, he is willing to bear with the discomfort of making small talk daily...And for ME, he is willing to accept sensory issues overload to make me feel LOVED during intimacy...I know i have said this before, here in WP...Please forgive me, but i will say it yet again...I KNOW THAT I AM VERY BLESSED TO HAVE HIM... :heart: :heart: :heart:



ASPartOfMe
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01 Jan 2021, 12:30 pm

Clueless2017 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Back before I knew I am autistic and even for some time afterward, I would have told you I was very introverted. I was happy without human connection, while most human connection was stressful. My 23,000+ WP posts tell a different story. What it tells me it is certain types of human connection I am happier without or at least a lot less of. The types of human connection that rely on nonverbal communication and sensory input of having other humans physically near me.

... ... ...
What you state above, i am not understanding...Would you be so kind to clarify for this clueless NT???...Do you favor or reject nonverbal communication???...Do you favor or reject having humans physically near you???...Thank you in advance... :D

As kraftie wrote I do better communicating in a forum like this then in “real life” because there is no non verbal communication involved.

Prior to finding out I was on the spectrum and still now I felt uncomfortable with people around me. I felt that was introversion or shyness and mistook it for not wanting to communicate much with others. Now that I am here often several times a day I have found out the issue was not disliking communication with other people, it is doing it in person.

When there are other people around I have to deal with non verbal commination which is said to involve 70 to 90 percent of all communication. Being Autistic this is not innate. It involves multitasking which I am not good at. If people are really close sensory issues can also get involved.

... ... ...
Thank you for taking the time to clarify for me...I now clearly understand what you said...The reason that i asked for clarification is that my beloved (yet undiagnosed Aspie) husband is very much like some of you here...

Since our courtship, i would notice that he was chatty over the phone with long-distance friends and family...Also, i would perceived his discomfort when i was around him physically...To date, i still perceive some discomfort when i am close to him but much less frequently...So, i had reached the conclusion that my beloved husband is the most sociable of introverts...When, in fact, he is still a loner in practical terms...Overtime, he has become more accustomed to having me around...

How much more blessed i feel that my beloved husband has included ME only before his presence on a daily basis...And for ME, he is willing to bear with the discomfort of making small talk daily...And for ME, he is willing to accept sensory issues overload to make me feel LOVED during intimacy...I know i have said this before, here in WP...Please forgive me, but i will say it yet again...I KNOW THAT I AM VERY BLESSED TO HAVE HIM... :heart: :heart: :heart:

Glad to be of service.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


theprisoner
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13 Jan 2021, 1:40 pm

I don't know, a extroverted Aspie , seems a contradiction in terms, and about as real and valid as bigfoot or the loch ness monster.


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NaturalEntity
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13 Jan 2021, 3:29 pm

I'm an introvert but there may be extrovert autistic people out there.


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HeroOfHyrule
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13 Jan 2021, 3:56 pm

I think a lot of autistic people are introverts, but not all. Before I really "got" that I was on the spectrum I would have said I was an introvert, because by NT standards I am, but honestly I'm more of an ambivert. I like and crave social interaction, and enjoy some types of parties, etc., I just biologically can't handle a lot of it.


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MrsPeel
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13 Jan 2021, 7:05 pm

For those who don't believe an aspie can be an extrovert, I'd recommend the book "Aspergers on the Inside", which is an autobiography by Michelle Vines.
Reading that it is quite clear that many of her problems arose from craving a great deal more social contact than her Aspergers enabled her to sustain.

Maybe the issue is with the definition of "introvert" - are we talking about outside behaviours or inside desires?
How many of us would like to be more extroverted, if that was something we had the ability to sustain?
I know I would love to be able to maintain more of a social life.
As it is, I test out as highly introverted.



lostonearth35
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13 Jan 2021, 11:15 pm

I'm not an introvert. I just hate the entire human race. :twisted:



theprisoner
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15 Jan 2021, 11:36 am

MrsPeel wrote:
Maybe the issue is with the definition of "introvert" - are we talking about outside behaviours or inside desires?
How many of us would like to be more extroverted, if that was something we had the ability to sustain?
I know I would love to be able to maintain more of a social life.
As it is, I test out as highly introverted.


Me too. I just don't think i have the energy to maintain that....effortlessly. Studies have shown introvert/extrovert are actually two differetn brain types. running on differing fuel systems, metabolic pathways. introverts gets drained by social interaction, and has to detach and "recharge" , while extroverts apparently become energized by social interaction.


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MrsPeel
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15 Jan 2021, 9:27 pm

I guess I'm just a lonely introvert then :shrug:



OkaySometimes
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16 Jan 2021, 8:17 am

I'm an extreme introvert. I don't crave social interaction at all, it totally drains me. Even not-really-social things like going to the store, just having people around me for that long and then the "hi, how's your day, blah blah" with the cashier just takes every shred of energy. I enjoy time with my wife and my daughter, but I have my limit even with the people I love. At a certain point I just can't sustain it any more.
I have had friends in the past, and I enjoyed time with them. I can't seem to keep a friendship going. I've tried to understand it, but I can't seem to. When they ghost, I just let them. Overall, it's okay with me.
My most recent friend was the spouse of one of my wife's coworkers. We hung out, did a lot of hiking together, and had a good time. I went to a lot of new places and saw a lot of new trails during our hiking time. We even went camping together once.
But...
What are my favorite hikes? Ones I've done alone. And when I say we went camping together once, I mean exactly that. I went camping 3 more times that year, but went alone. I didn't dislike his company or anything like that, I just like being alone better. That's what it comes down to, I think. I prefer to be alone as much as possible.