Books to show Autistics how to stand up for themselves

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Hi
I would like to know if anyone knows of a book on how to stand up for yourself, specifically for Autistic people rather than general neurotypical people. I am from the UK, I would prefer and E book or an audiobook but will settle for paperback.

I notice a lot of other types of books available in other countries not available in the UK.

I am easily manipulated and conned and vulnerable as I am easily intimidated and as an autistic person I would like to learn how to stick up for myself but the book I want needs to be especially for autistic people.

All help would be appreciated.

Thanks

Interesting, and sure, I can understand where you are coming from.
Although I am not sure if anyone has ever written such a book.

Now, I think perhaps you need to consider what types of scenarios that you need help with.
As there are all sorts of areas in life that may be considered "challenging" (modern mental health terms)
to the person with ASD.

If the problems that you have are to do with people being physically threatening, intimidating or even using violence against you, then perhaps taking up certain good self defense training would be worth considering,
although, be aware, in order to become competent at self defense, you really do need regular training for a few years, and perhaps even keep on training for the rest of your life. Such training doesn't have to always be extreme, as found with full contact martial art sport hybrids like MMA, Boxing, Muay Thai, Judo or Brazilian Jiu Jutsu.

However, it does need to be designed to best help you protect your self against the types of attacks that you may most commonly come across in your walk of life.

As for sticking up for yourself, doing martial arts certainly can make a person more confident, and can make a person more assertive and less afraid of their would be attackers, and the best self defense experts will teach you strategies to use when dealing with potential assailants.

Stephen K Hayes, the founder of Toshindo, a modern self defense martial art that is based on traditional ninjutsu, is one example of such a modern martial art that has been developed specifically to deal with this type of thing.

The Gracie family who developed Gracie Jiu Jitsu teach several types of courses that are designed to give a person skills in defending themselves against common street attackers, along with their sport version of their art, which is a fair bit like Judo but perhaps more street orientated.

Kenpo Karate can also be useful, although, haven studied this art for several years as a kid.
I think the hard knox style of self defense isn't the best approach to all conflicts, as the kenpo philosophy for dealing with bullies tends to be to completely destroy their opponents with excessive violence. Not a practice that you can get away with even if attacked in the UK, let alone at school, down the pub or in the work place.

For more acceptable strategies for work place conflicts, perhaps consider taking courses in assertiveness and conflict resolution, and perhaps meditation.

However, please be aware that having ASD does make us a great deal more vulnerable that a NT person.
Which sucks basically, I am not sure if there is any way of getting around some of the problems that we face in life, and have to really rely on medications to help keep us level headed and prevent us from getting too overwhelmed by the many stressors that we face on a regular daily basis.

One book that may help you understand why you react the way you do is a book by a lady called Deborah Lipsky, which is called "from anxiety to meltdown"

which may be useful in learning why you may react the way you do, and learn some solutions that may help prevent meltdowns that are alternative to medication.

Please let me know if you are interested in learning a self defence martial art, and I will post links to what i believe to be the best main stream self defense martial arts presently on the market.

Hope my reply helped.
Thanks
Kind regards

Hi @madbutnotmad

It's a shame no such book is written.

Verbal and physical strength wouldn't go amiss

Self defence is a good idea but I am housebound, maybe I could look at videos?
It's a shame I really do need regular training for a few years, and perhaps even keep on training for the rest of my life.

It would be handy to know how to give off a vibe so that people just don't approach me.
I am female and don't work now, but when I did, lecherous men would not letch over most women just some and one of them was me.

I feel like I have failed in my duty as it is our duty to stick up for ourselves.

Yeah I am newly diagnosed and its a blessing to know but being more vulnerable does scare me.

Drugs aaahhh l am detoxing off valium, I had drug problems and no longer want to rely on them.

Thanks for the book recommendation.

Stress is my trigger for meltdown, especially stress I cant avoid.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900

In terms of general social assertiveness, I totally agree on the usefulness of such.

Certain situations call for specific learnings and response, about which I've very recently been learning more.

Is there someone among friends/family who makes you feel like you have to be permanently walking on eggshells around them? Like they may be liable to blow up for reasons that make little or no predictable sense?

If so, make sure you take a close enough look at the topic of BPD. One book which may be useful as a starting point is called Stop Walking on Eggshells.

I got counseling long before I knew I was autistic. The counselor used a book called "when I say NO I feel guilty" by Manuel J Smith.

You can find it online as a pdf, or for sale everywhere for very little $ as a used book.

It is out of print now but there are many available.

I used that book to help myself, and to learn how to verbally speak up for myself, how to make healthy choices, set boundaries, etc etc. I must have read it 20 times over the years. It probably saved my life.

It worked even though I did not know I was autistic at the time. It is really a good explanation to help learn how to spot when people are using intimidation and manipulation, etc to try to get you to do things. It teaches you how to 'defend' yourself in spite of aggression, shaming, etc etc etc.

I love the "self assertive bill of rights" at the beginning of the book. check it out online.

It really did save my life and sanity, and I have been so grateful that the therapist recommended it to me over 30 years ago. Next to getting my diagnosis at age ( almost) 68, this was the single thing that helped me most.. counseling and that book. Maybe it will work for you too.