College was disappointing both academically and socially

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I don’t ever want to go back to college. On one hand, I was told that it was going to be better than school was for me and I would even find a girlfriend there but I had no social success. On the other hand, I was told to just focus on studying and forget socializing because studying was supposed to be the priority but even in the courses, people would interact socially with one another and I could never find my niche no matter what I studied. I got so many mixed messages and the tedium of even getting a standard Associate’s Degree devoured me.

How has your experience of problems you experienced during college been post graduation?

Forget about being "social" when you go to college.

When you study a subject you're interested in, the socializing just might take care of itself.

I don't believe you should sacrifice academics for being "social."

I didn’t graduate college. I’ve dropped out multiple times and it will be for good now.



But why is it ok for others to socialize while it’s apparently not ok for me to do so?

Where did I say it's not okay to socialize? Of course it's okay to socialize. I'm just an advocate of switching the emphasis-----academics first, then socialization.

But I believe many people, including NT's, would do better if academics is emphasized over socialization.

I'll give you an example: Bill and Hillary Clinton were both hard-studying future lawyers. They met in law school. They emphasized academics over socialization----but they formed a bond based upon doing excellently in law school, and becoming excellent lawyers. Both succeeded quite well. Hillary was actually quite nerdy when she was young.

For me, when I was at uni everyone except me was expected to do social stuff though.

And I was when it was MA.

I'm not talking about super social or stupid stuff like hanging out and getting drunk. I mean group work.

For my BA I didn't have to do it cos I'm autistic. I had to do essays on the exact same topic instead. NT students couldn't understand why I didn't mind that

It is ok for you to do so, you have autism.

I don’t think I’ll ever go to an university. I struggle even with community level college and don’t even have half of the credits required for an Associate’s Degree. The job I’ve been handcuffed to also limited how many courses I could take (two at best but even then I struggled and the tutors refused to change their hours before I had to go into work) and I flunked a couple of courses so my credit gains were less than flattering. I am also 32 so time is not on my side.

I used to dream about going to UT in Austin, finding my niche, joining the anime club there, and meeting a nice nerdy/geeky woman to become my long-term partner. The dream died.

Last edited by Marknis on 08 Jan 2021, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The prevailing attitude I get is that it’s not ok for me.

Community College can sometimes be more difficult than "regular" college.

My wife had a harder time in Community College than "regular" college.

I had a harder time in "introduction" courses than in later courses.

Some people like Luhluhluh would attack me for wanting to socialize and she even told me to give up wanting a girlfriend. She hates me and thinks I should become a robot.

I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you.

Om Nom hugs

Old news for me. Found this out 43 years ago.

Yeah, you get that attitude from whom? Mom?

What ever happened to your interest in moving out on your own, taking control of your Social Security income, and walking away from that job you hate?

You'd do much better plotting how to make these goals happen, than mentally masturbating with your dark, self-defeating thoughts.

People here actually. Luhluhluh especially snarled at me for wanting to socialize.

I told you I tried to get a new job and waited two months to get a call back. I found out that the city hall of Belton never bothered and hired someone else on the spot.

If you give up after applying for one job, you misunderstand the concept of job hunting.