Why do I constantly remember being bullied?

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Bullying is very common for Aspies. And it causes great psychological harm. The term teasing and bullying are terms developed to protect the abusers. They minimize the offense. A more accurate phrase is cruel and relentless torture. In adult society, the terms used are physical abuse, psychological abuse, and assault and they are criminal offenses.

As kraftiekortie wrote "Usually, high school-type bullying doesn't happen in college."

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From my perspective, the root cause of bullying is a shadow of our evolutionary past.

To understand bullying one must look at it through the lens of a primate. The reason why teasing and bullying is exhibited in humans is because it is an evolutionary trait that evolved in primates. Primates exhibit a social tribe structure based on Alpha, Beta, and Omega members.

This structure is also exhibited in tribes of humans. Humans form into societal groups called gangs. A gang is led by an Alpha Male (otherwise known as the bully) and his lieutenants, Beta Males. Generally this tribe encompasses the entire school class because the other members of the tribe participate as soldiers in the gang or as silent eyewitnesses. The leadership of the gang is determined by brute force. A male Aspie fills the role of an Omega Male, a communal scapegoat or outlet of frustration.

One of the interesting observations about school bullying is that generally for males it peaks in the Junior High School years. This is no accident. What makes the timing of that phase interesting and special? It is because males are transitioning into puberty at that age.

In primates, Alpha Males often gain preferential access to sex or mates and as a result to reproduction and offspring. In humans, this bullying is part of thinning out the herd just prior to the mating age. It either mentally cripples Aspie males for the rest of their life or causes them to become loners and leave the tribe.

Once abuse and torture enters the picture, do not expect the child to advance any further along the stages of natural childhood development. For some (Aspie girls) who are further along socially, they may even digress backwards. I feel that girls tend to mimic the action of others and this is actually part of the natural process of becoming an extrovert. They are further along in social development and forced backwards into becoming an introvert by their girl tribe. As a result they are separated from their tribe, shunned and abandoned. Once you drive a turtle back into its shell in fear, don’t expect it to come out anytime soon. Aspies exhibit paralyzing fear, afraid of sticking their head out of their shell, because they don’t know what they did wrong to have their peer group turn on them, even their best friends, with great meanness pushing them out of their tribe.

In the primate world, an Omega is the lowest caste of the hierarchical society. An Omega is given two choices. Either an Omega can remain submissive to everyone and will commonly be used as a communal scapegoat; an outlet for the tribe’s frustration or the animal can leave the tribe.

In humans, an Omega can select the same two choices. They can remain an Omega Aspie or they can leave and become a Non-Conformist Aspie. Those are the two types of adult Aspies.

In my opinion an Omega can try to fit in, to conform to societies norms. You can constantly look over your shoulder, be hypersensitive, watching for any signs of danger, always keep your senses in overdrive, keep your guard up and live in a constant state of fear. But the prolonged stress will evolve into distress. Over time you will most likely wear yourself out and decay into mental problems.

This is true, but when I was at college I did have some of the girls in my class bully me, or be bitchy towards me. But, girls will be girls, and also they were quite the immature type.

But college students are far less likely to pick on you than high school students. Here's some differences between high school and college that I noticed:-


High school: The bathrooms were often dirty even though they were cleaned daily
College: The bathrooms were kept clean

High school: Vandalism and graffiti
College: No vandalism or graffiti

High school: Kids would hang about or mess around on the stairs, in bathrooms and in hallways and intimidate kids like me
College: Students hung about in designated areas, or in the common room where they'd have tea and coffee like adults, and they didn't intimidate you

High school: Kids bunked off classes and hid in bathrooms
College: Nobody bunked off classes

High school: Kids targeted you on the walk home or on the school bus
College: I got on a bus that was always full of college students and nobody picked on me

I don't know about other countries but in the UK college is an option so I suppose kids are more respectful and committed.

The way i look at it. its best to take those ancient greek abstract symbol-concepts and try to ground it in more concrete structures. specifically recognized and proven real-world brain types.

for e.g.

Alpha : malevolent, psychopath, narcissist, sociopath, job:corporate ceo/leader ( all those neurotypes that have reduced or zero negative emotions, giving them the greatest advantage)

Beta: nts;, average, "normal", conformist, job:wage slave/salesman ( all those neurotypes that have a roughly equal mix of positive and negative motions states, no real imbalances, so no real distinct advantage)

Omega: benevolent, sensitive, empaths, Asd, "neurodiverse" etc, job:starving artist/slacker etc (all those neurotypes that have propensities to increased negative emotions responses, a double edge sword, often problematic, dysfunctional)


now of course the descriptors are far from exhaustive, but you get the picture. if you wanna argue that asd doesn't belong in a "sensitive" category, well i believe we are, underneath a cold exterior we may present to the outside world. at least from my perspective.

Being bullied in your youth can be a hard thing to “get over”. The thirst of revenge can consume your soul if you let it. I find that burying one self into hobbies can push out the anger over time. It is best to try to concentrate on things that make you happy now, rather than to constantly relive the past. I know it is much harder said than done by my own experiences.

I think I will always be somewhat traumatized from the emotional bullying I suffered when I was young. I don't think about it every day and I am just getting on with my life, but because I have an autobiographical memory it isn't easy to completely forget the things that happened in my past.

Memories of the horrible past events come and go for me. If you keep yourself entertained enough in life, the bad feelings of the past will slowly fade with the passage of time. Long ago I made it a personal goal to simply outlive my bullies. More than a few of them are already buried by their own twists of fate.

I have flashbacks about being bullied, late in the afternoon sometimes. I can't be out and about at that time of the day.

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