Nothing in this world hurts more than being called "cringe"

Post Reply New Topic

My experience with "not normal" words has been as follows.

creep (n.) - see "creepy", considered to be more offensive than the adjective

creepy (adj.) - 1. (deprecated) acting in ways that make a person uncomfortable or uneasy; 2. (colloquial) socially acceptable synonym for "ugly" if used for men, not used for women in this definition

cringe or cringeworthy (adj., neologism) - acting in ways that make mainstream people uncomfortable or uneasy

eccentric (adj.) - functionally equivalent to "quirky" (which see), but used mainly for the elderly or people employed in sciences or academics, the word is considered respectful but somewhat unassertive

freak (n.) - someone who acts in ways out of line with the mainstream standards of conduct and dress, and may cause mild personal harm or damage to reputation

odd (n.) - someone who's more out of line with mainstream society than "quirky" but less so than "weird", mostly inoffensive, considered acceptable to say about but not to a person

quirky (adj.) - acting in ways that don't fully fit in with mainstream society, but not threatening or embarrassing, usually considered complimentary to say about a person

strange (adj.) - acting in ways that do not fully fit in with society, considered neutral, but not an acceptable way to describe a person you know well or to any person, acceptable to say about strangers, politicians, or celebrities

"their own person" (phrase, n. or adj.) - a more assertive synonym for "quirky", often used to avoid referencing any form of strangeness with people who may be sensitive about it, and almost always seen as complimentary

weird (adj.) - see "weirdo", somewhat less offensive than the noun

weirdo (n.) - someone who acts in ways out of line with the mainstream standards of conduct and dress, and is considered physically harmless but uncomfortable to be around

My theory for "cringe" emerging as a replacement for "creepy" is the semantics shift of the latter. I recall "creepy" standing in for "ugly" as early as year 2003. When "creepy" became increasingly more used as a synonym for "ugly", a new word was needed to describe unattractive behaviors. Since "cringeworthy" already existed as an obscure word, it was appropriated for such a purpose. "Cringe" emerged as a shorthand, either by lopping off two syllables or by repurposing an existing verb as an adjective.

Interesting in films too if there's a character that we're supposed to think is potentially threatening / creepy / scary / strange it's usually a bloke who isn't conventionally attractive.

In my experience, creepy tends to be used when someone feels unsafe.

Yes, that's true; I also noticed that. Conversely, if you look at trashy daytime shows, where a man is fathering children with multiple women or abusing his girlfriend, getting away with it in both cases, that man is almost always conventionally attractive.

While it's been over a decade since I aged into my looks, the memories of being ugly while young still haunt me.

I guess cringe is another word for faker. I found a sub on Reddit and it was called fakedisordercringe and I see all these Tik Tok videos and lot of them were cringy all right because they looked faked, over the top, parody, a mockery of disorders.

And I would be too embarrassed to try and post my own stims online lol.

i appreciate the fact that reading the replies made me cringe

I'm too old to have been called "cringe" but I understand the feeling. "Weirdo" or sometimes the even worse "creepy weirdo" feels the same. In a few years, people will stop saying it to your face, at least.

When I grew up, you couldn't be an Aspie at all, but "freaks" in several variations were all good, at least with each other.

When I grew up all the nerds hung out together and looked down on normal kids...

Looking back at it I doubt I was the only aspie in the group

Also yes looking back at it that does sound painfully obnoxious...

When I was in school, "creepy" didn't exist. It was just "dork" or "dweeb", both meaning "ugly and lacking social skills". "Nerd" and "geek" were slightly better, although far from complimentary. I think I was a "dweeb" in elementary school and a "dork" in high school. There were no nerd cliques in my high school. Nerds just laid low, and hoped to be left alone. Although by senior year, intelligence and computer skills started to be seen as a good thing, as IT was seen as a lucrative career back then.

"Creepy" in a sense of "ugly" didn't become a thing until early 2000's, and "cringe" existed only as a verb back then. And even then, "cringe" was something a woman did in reaction to a pile of maggots, not an unattractive man asking to dance with her.

Today, I work as a line repair technician (repairing or replacing AV and telecom lines) for a major hospital in my city. It's basically a grunt job. But when I tell women I meet that I work for a hospital, they seem to like it. So I didn't stray very far from my high school age "geek" roots. Although socially, I'm nowhere close to what I was in high school.

Surely there was a way of saying 'that guy seems like the type who women should avoid'?

There were a lot of genuinely creepy guys in my home town esp in the 70s/80s. It's famous for it locally, not least because a couple of the men involved had separate fame careers.

Mum says there were certain guys that you were told if you were a kid you were to stay away from because there were rumours about them harming kids.

Even though it was considered normal to go off for entire days to give parents a 'break'. To cycle into different neighbourhoods and just wander around, usually in a gang, sometimes talking to adult strangers. A freedom kids won't have nowadays.

I imagine similar warnings existed where women were concerned.

Genuine predators.

What bothers me is when words like 'creepy'/'nonce' etc get thrown around at harmless eccentric types. Surely even if someone is NT they have a right to be unusual if they're not hurting anyone without being accused of hurting someone? And especially for ND people who are just unusual by personality, we're not harming anyone so we shouldn't be lumped in the same group as those who are.

I grew up during a time when things were changing, but haven't gotten bad yet. (Plus the national differences, due to the way you spelled "neighborhoods".) Some conversations with strangers did happen, but they were limited to "Sir, what time is it?" or "Ma'am, which way is the nearest grocery store?", as well as routine conversations with shopkeepers and newsstand workers (like when buying candy). Most store clerks were a bit gruff, since they feared kids shoplifting, but outwardly polite, which was fine with me. I was also allowed to ride city buses by myself starting at age 13, and drivers didn't bat an eye. I feel sorry for today's kids. As strict as my family was, today's kids have less freedom than maximum security prison inmates.

I was a free-range child too, and enjoyed many long days wandering around town unsupervised.

All that changed the night before my 10th birthday, when one of the few friends I had was raped and murdered by an escaped inmate, who then left her body on the riverbank behind her grandparents' home.

When I was a kid, I was seen as that weird kid. Back then if you were socially awkward, you were weird or slow.

Now today it seems like being socially awkward is so cool now. Boy do I wish that was a trend then. Then I maybe would have had an easier childhood and had better self esteem and not care as much about not being "normal." Instead everyone would have been like, "It's okay to be different, we're all weird." No peer pressure and everyone would have been trying to be different. See who can be the weirdest kid in school. Just imagine how cool that would have been if that were a trend when I was a kid.

There needs to be a word for people like that beyond just 'weird'.

That's how I use 'creepy'.

And how I use 'nonce' with the raping kids thing.

And I'd add to his 'murdering scumbag'.

I'm sorry that happened to you/her/her family

Not all mentally ill people are like that though.

A lot of us on this forum have illnesses which make us more problems to ourselves than others. Stuff like anxiety or depression.

The problem is when it's some kind of scumbag who goes around harming others.