How do I deal with an uncomfortable person who may be ASD?

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Whale_Tuune
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04 Mar 2021, 8:01 pm

So, today I received a message on instagram from someone who said that she wants to be friends. She was instagram friends with two friends of mine, so I said okay. Then she asked to make a group chat with one of my friends, which I said I'd see.

Following this situation, she kept messaging me about making a group chat. This struck me as weirdly obsessive, especially because apparently she hadn't even met this friend of mine. The friend she wanted me to make a group chat with rarely uses insta. At one point, she sent me a voice recording (the circumstances behind which, I don't know) that said "My friend told me that [Whaletune's friend] doesn't like to make friends with or message people she doesn't know, please talk to her."

Okay, so at this point the girl has sent me a ton of messages, which seem to be violating some personal boundaries of this friend of mine that she wants to talk to. (Again, they haven't met, which is why I'm not sure why she is quite so fixated on this.)

Obviously, I don't know if this girl is on the spectrum, but she's obviously not understanding social boundaries. Thinking back to the times I've crossed social boundaries, I'm trying to think of the most empathetic way that I can explain what is wrong about her behavior reinforce the boundaries between my friends and her without coming off as mean, or leaving her confused about what she did wrong.


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Fnord
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04 Mar 2021, 8:18 pm

Do not be a victim.  Protect yourself.  Block this person from your account and report her.


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Pepe
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04 Mar 2021, 9:12 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
So, today I received a message on instagram from someone who said that she wants to be friends. She was instagram friends with two friends of mine, so I said okay. Then she asked to make a group chat with one of my friends, which I said I'd see.

Following this situation, she kept messaging me about making a group chat. This struck me as weirdly obsessive, especially because apparently she hadn't even met this friend of mine. The friend she wanted me to make a group chat with rarely uses insta. At one point, she sent me a voice recording (the circumstances behind which, I don't know) that said "My friend told me that [Whaletune's friend] doesn't like to make friends with or message people she doesn't know, please talk to her."

Okay, so at this point the girl has sent me a ton of messages, which seem to be violating some personal boundaries of this friend of mine that she wants to talk to. (Again, they haven't met, which is why I'm not sure why she is quite so fixated on this.)

Obviously, I don't know if this girl is on the spectrum, but she's obviously not understanding social boundaries. Thinking back to the times I've crossed social boundaries, I'm trying to think of the most empathetic way that I can explain what is wrong about her behavior reinforce the boundaries between my friends and her without coming off as mean, or leaving her confused about what she did wrong.


Explain the situation, from your point of view, and if she won't accept it, block her.
Ghosting her, without explanation, is a really nasty way to handle the situation, imo.



Whale_Tuune
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04 Mar 2021, 9:26 pm

I sent her a message delicately explaining the situation. I felt a little icky. I can totally remember times when I've been in the reverse position. Hopefully this can give me some perspective on how the NTs felt.


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CollegeGirlAnon
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05 Mar 2021, 2:18 am

Fnord wrote:
Do not be a victim.  Protect yourself.  Block this person from your account and report her.


He should explain to her that he does not want contact as well.


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