Do any of you feel like you don't fit in groups?

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Dear_one
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13 Mar 2021, 5:24 pm

Sometimes, parts of me are a good fit, but never the whole package. If I stay on the group topic, it works out OK.



quaker
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14 Mar 2021, 3:44 am

The Quakers were the first group that I have ever felt truly represented my convictions, ethically and spiritually. However, this by no means extends to chit chatting over tea or joining in what's app groups and the like.



Dear_one
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15 Mar 2021, 2:24 pm

Over the last 40 years, I have done a lot of volunteer work for five different political parties. Today, I don't belong to any of them, and feel quite unwelcome. I pointed out some inconsistencies, trying to be helpful, and was treated as a bigot.
"Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of Political Intercourse."
- Billy Connolly.



Fnord
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15 Mar 2021, 2:57 pm

Only when I am the leader do I feel any real connection with a collectivist group; but some individual always seems to destroy group cohesiveness when the group does not do what that one person wants.



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15 Mar 2021, 3:47 pm

Ohhhh Yes, I'm often been that "hard to place" person. The type of groups I would seek participation are way too elusive to both encourage, and find - as I've discussed several times...................here on WP!

Such elusive groups are healthy AS/NT relationships. I sense that the healthiest, and most successful AS/NT relationships stemmed from those efforts to ask the hard questions in order boost understanding of both NTs and people concerned with AS.

See why such beneficial dynamics are so elusive to find??



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16 Mar 2021, 8:10 am

I dont fit in anywhere and tbh i prefer it that way i feel like if i find somewhere to fit in id fele out of place cause im the weird insane guy. That’s who i am and like i dont know how to be someone other than that. Just the way i grew up i guess. My life is an extreme i cant really fit in anywhere.ß


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JustFoundHere
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16 Mar 2021, 3:45 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
Ohhhh Yes, I'm often been that "hard to place" person. The type of groups I would seek participation are way too elusive to both encourage, and find - as I've discussed several times...................here on WP!

Such elusive groups are healthy AS/NT relationships. I sense that the healthiest, and most successful AS/NT relationships stemmed from those efforts to ask the hard questions in order boost understanding of both NTs and people concerned with AS.

See why such beneficial dynamics are so elusive to find??


ADDENDUM:

People experienced with healthy AS/NT dynamics might just have gained experience by asking the hard questions on AS/NT dynamics; that is asking the hard questions were not as hard as imagined.......really!!

In a nutshell, becoming acquainted with people experienced with healthy AS/NT dynamics is an awesome goal - a goal to achieve once the pandemic is brought under control!

That difficult step in "breaking the ice" might come through participation in concrete, confidence building activities -- I strongly feel that the arts e.g., drawing, painting, sculpture can "break the ice so to speak!"

Activities like the arts allow participants to unite around concrete activities. This might just be favorable - as people on the Autism Spectrum tend to relate best to inanimate objects e.g., in this case tools and materials applied in the arts are well................concrete and inanimate.

The arts allow that healthy focusing on inanimate objects boost confidence within activities ripe for developing friendships - that's right you read this correctly -- an awesome ice-breaker!!

Developing friendships in settings understanding of AS/NT relationships can also be favorable in setting the stage towards developing intimate relationships.

Any specific experiences?



Jakki
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16 Mar 2021, 3:58 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
It has been quite an issue for me because I can start out ok, but give it a few months and I find that I either get bullied or I get ignored until I just leave. It can happen in a short time.

On groups I have had to be part of, the first few days seem to work fine for a while, but then my differences start to show and eventually I end up an outsider even though I am within a group, and if time goes on and I don't leave the bullying starts.

This seems familiar to me . Can recognize these situations .for myself aswell . Usually can figure it out before the bullying starts . Or just as it starts .


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Benjamin the Donkey
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16 Mar 2021, 10:28 pm

Dear_one wrote:
Over the last 40 years, I have done a lot of volunteer work for five different political parties. Today, I don't belong to any of them, and feel quite unwelcome. I pointed out some inconsistencies, trying to be helpful, and was treated as a bigot.
"Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of Political Intercourse."
- Billy Connolly.


"Whoever thinks a great deal is not suitable as a party member, for he soon thinks himself right through the party." - Nietzsche


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Mar 2021, 10:31 pm

Dear_one wrote:
"Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of Political Intercourse."
- Billy Connolly.


I love this. ^

I'm sorry that happened to you.



Dear_one
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16 Mar 2021, 10:39 pm

^^ Thanks 2. It occurs to me that a Political Party has to limit itself to ideas that are easily conveyed to untrained thinkers. With rare good fortune, the leaders may improve on those, but more likely, scoundrels will undermine even the official positions.



IsabellaLinton
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16 Mar 2021, 10:45 pm

Dear_one wrote:
^^ Thanks 2. It occurs to me that a Political Party has to limit itself to ideas that are easily conveyed to untrained thinkers. With rare good fortune, the leaders may improve on those, but more likely, scoundrels will undermine even the official positions.


Another brilliant quote.

I have the same impression of politicians, especially today.



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17 Mar 2021, 9:33 am

Agrees with the above political views but fear that some of these parties , can do more wrong in the long run given the more scoundrel types of the leaders . Let’s hope better minds prevail .


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Fnord
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17 Mar 2021, 9:42 am

Dear_one wrote:
Over the last 40 years, I have done a lot of volunteer work for five different political parties. Today, I don't belong to any of them, and feel quite unwelcome. I pointed out some inconsistencies, trying to be helpful, and was treated as a bigot...
I have had similar experiences, but with labor unions, cultural activity committees, and church leadership groups.  If you do not go along with what the most charismatic members want, then everyone eventually makes it clear that you are not wanted, and may even formally dismiss you from the group.  But if you are not dismissed, you get blamed for everything that goes wrong.  Politics are not just for politicians, it seems.



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17 Mar 2021, 6:50 pm

catpiecakebutter wrote:
I hate it when people say that I should make friends in Special Olympics or Mental Health because I don't completely fit in either group. Do any of you feel like you don't fit in groups?


I can relate to what you have said catpiecakebutter. Most people have this mind-set that if you just get involved in a group and make friends all our 'issues' will just fall away.
They do not understand that the above situation does not work for everyone.
I am autistic and have no friends; sure I have work colleges but they are not my friends.
I am hopeless at making friends, I just don't know how to do it.
I have come to understand that happiness does not come from anything outside of us; it is an inside job.
I tend to speak to God a lot (although I am not religious nor am I involved in any church)
Just to let all my issues be know to God and then let them all go over to Him to fix; makes me feel better.
Another way I get rid of that alone feeling is to think of people who (did) truly love me. My Mom; Aunt and Grandmother loved me so very much and I keep those memories alive within myself.
I hope that I have been some help to you. Don't be shy, stay in touch.



Jakki
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17 Mar 2021, 7:42 pm

Lately have found more solace in the idea , about sharing my issues with God aswell . Mainly groups don’t seem to have attractions for me or me for them. But have found a few individuals to try to share some issues with occasionally. On the rare occasion. But am sure often have just said too much . Trying to not to be socially awkward.


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