Long Post Questions and Wonder do I belong Here

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I am new here, and feel kind of weird. I believe I am on the spectrum and have suspected for several years. My grandmother was never diagnosed but I am pretty sure she was high functioning autism. I also have several people in my family that have high functioning autism and one niece that has significant disabling autism with Developmental Intellectual Disability (DID). My 32 year old daughter is severe profound DID and is non verbal in a wheelchair. I don't know if she has autism but I had significant difficulties with her and touch when she was little.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I was fascinated with how the brain work and kept taking college classes in psychology until they told me I had to declare a major. Thus LMFT I became. Strangely enough I feel I am effective in treating all diagnoses to include couples. I often will tell them about the importance of social networks and friends. However, I cannot follow my own advice. I know the proper treatment as I have had extensive training. I also have some individuals who are high functioning autistic and although I am not treating them for their autism I find I identify with them to a great degree.

I have made a point in studying people to see how they behave. I can mimic them and be ok in a social situation but only for a short time. Hence 1 hour sessions with clients in a very small practice. Otherwise I have skipped social gatherings by making excuses for a long time even my own farewells. I find it exceptionally painful to have social chit chat and I have no friends. I find I don't necessarily want them either. I am at my best when I can just be alone in my own space.

I don't really remember having friends as a child either. I know I was the only one in my family with a library card. I would hide behind chairs and read to escape. I also, wore the same clothes all the time because they were comfortable. I was also bullied a lot for being different and shy. I went into the military which was extremely hard to do. I found it gave me the structure that I needed and helped greatly with my eye contact. I knew the rules and there were steps to follow. I could have excelled easier had I been more social but I stayed away from social events and things like that as much as possible. When I did have to attend I would always find a way to help so I would not have to socialize and have people look at me.

I am fascinated with beading, embroidery and find myself drawn to it. I have collections of material just so I can touch the beading and embroidery. I also watch the ID channel and have always loved watching documentaries of serial killers. I don't like it for the gore but more about what happens in the mind. Sounds strange but human behavior is such an interest to me. My grandmother who I think was a aspie also was fascinated with true crime stories. I am constantly researching things and have been going to college since I was 34 years old (life long learner)

So questions: is it normal that at age 57 I suspect I am high functioning autistic?

Are there any other people that are in the mental health field on the forums?

Is it unusual if I help people even if I may be autistic?

I have taken the assessment on this website and I received a score of 158 of 200 I am likely a broader spectrum Aspie. Not quite sure what that is.

I guess I'm trying to figure out where all of this fits together. Do I belong here?

Any suggestions

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

From what I've read:
- there are many of us who don't get diagnosed until middle age, especially women who may not fit the stereotypical presentation of autism, and
- it's not uncommon for aspies to develop an interest in psychology and how the mind works

Edited to add: And you're welcome here, diagnosed or not.

I can relate to much of what you say.
Bullying, shyness, immitation of others to fit in, focus on more or less odd interests, able to give advice to others but not following them myself, no friends and typically fine with that, always at the library as a child, same clothes...
For me, I could add eg problems with certain food, no problem eating the same dishes day after day, problems with day to day stuff like cleaning and paying bills, problems with certain sounds esp humming from ACs and fans; problems with low self esteem/paranoia/too trusting of others...
Personally, I had no thought of me being on the spectrum until about 5 years ago. I just thought I was stupid.
Whether you belong here or not is for you to decide, but welcome if you come to the conclusion that you do belong!

/Mats

You don't have to be autistic to be a member of WrongPlanet. You don't have to submit a proof of diagnosis.

All you have to do is be a friend to autistic folks.

Welcome to WP. Based on what you wrote, I'd say you belong here.

The fact that you cogitate so much over this-----indicates that you eminently belong here.....

No...you don't belong here----The Man with the Cane and Top Hat is coming to toss you out

But you do understand the "importance" of having friends.

Luckily it is possible to have friends without chitchat. There are other, less tiresome avenues to friendship besides mainstream "social situations." And it's possible to have friends without having to hang out with them all the time.

Over the years, when I've had close friends, they were usually people whom I saw only occasionally in person, but we had more-frequent phone conversations (usually about once every week or two) on deep, mutually interesting topics, and we did what we could to help each other through difficult times. I met them in the context of pursuing specific common interests.

I find chitchat painful too, especially in groups. My mind needs something to focus on, either a specific person or a specific topic.


You're certainly not alone in your choice of profession. An example that comes to mind is Dena Gassner. See also:

- Realities of Being an Autistic Therapist by Judy Endow
- What Is It Like To Be A Therapist With Autism? by Natalie Engelbrecht, Forbes. (Dr. Natalie Engelbrecht also has a website Embrace ASD.)


If you are talking about the Aspie Quiz,, it's not an official diagnostic or screening instrument; it was created by a longtime amateur neurodiversity researcher.


As others have said, you don't necessarily have to be autistic to "belong here." Welcome to WP.


Hopefully you'll be able to get an evaluation at some point from a therapist specializing in autism. Alas, waiting lists are really long right now, in the wake of the COVID crisis.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 01 Apr 2021, 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

You are interested in neurodiversity so yes, you do belong here.
I became aware of "neurodiversity" when I was 64--the same year I was diagnosed, shortly before the Pandemic--so my knowing personal experience with folk on the Spectrum is limited to WP, but based upon what I've seen here I think it would not be at all odd if you wanted to help people, certainly there are already some wonderful examples of that here. If it turns out you are also on the Spectrum then I think that would give you a potential advantage in helping people on the Spectrum.

P.S. Welcome to WP! I think you might like it here!

I like to help people....and I've been autistic since at least 1964