I wanted to tell you, or anybody who understands/relates..

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CrabbyHermit
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06 May 2021, 4:38 am

Sorry its a long one, a bit of a brain dump.

After my post about my over-reaction and my thoughts on being 'out of the loop'. I decided to call out the friend on her honesty, with hindsight it wasn't the best idea as she turned it around on to me. I guess I deserved it as I pretty much accused her of knowing something - I needed to take the risk to see where I stood. I got the answers I needed from her reactions. I think its safe to say she doesn't understand me and I don't understand her. Our views on honesty differ. I apologised, she didn't. I've no idea if we've fallen out, time will tell. We messaged it wasn't face to face.

A huge positive came out of all this stuff from the last few days, I've been able to start talking to my husband about my true feelings about myself. I've tried before but because I find it difficult and he finds it awkward we'd always left it, which left me with no-one to really talk things through with. I rarely spoke of any of the bad bits which happen at work. I'm very content and happy in my home life, neither of us is keen on socialising so that's not an issue, we have a lot in common, he knows I have my funny ways of doing things - its never been an issue, he's very laid back. But I almost felt like I was leading a double life where work was concerned. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious at work, I really hate that I feel like this, I wish I could shake off the feeling once and for all. I've started to try and work on all that, which is why I'm here on WP, I've tried other groups/forums in the past but I haven't felt at home there.

Twice last night I tried posting but I didn't quite feel comfortable about it, I felt too moany and negative at the time, so thought I'd wait until the morning when my mind was clearer.

I woke up wondering, was I being paranoid about it all? This morning I asked my husband "Do you think I've been paranoid about all this" he said "No, but you worry far too much". I know that! I love the fact we can now speak about this stuff, its a huge weight off my mind.

I'd previously confided in the above work friend!

I've been getting myself in to such a state about everything, my husband said if you need to know perhaps you should go for a diagnosis after all, he also said everyone is unique and that's what makes the world the a more interesting place (hmmmm!). I'm very much in two minds about it.

I've taken a step back from the work friends, I don't need to be any 'loops' its more trouble than its worth. I'm not sure how it'll affect my relationship with my work friends, I've no idea if they like me or not or how they see me as a work friend. When all said and done, getting the work done is by far the most important thing than any of this other sh!t. I'm done with it but I still have to work with these people so fitting in somewhere more confidently would be nice!

I'm glad I've found WP, plus the quizzes etc are great fun.

I'm not sure why I've posted this but I wanted to tell someone.



Mountain Goat
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06 May 2021, 5:17 am

Best to wait and see what happens. Great you can speak to your husband like that. It is good.


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kraftiekortie
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06 May 2021, 5:37 am

What sort of job do you do?

I’m just curious.

Glad you’ve been able to resolve this somewhat.



CrabbyHermit
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06 May 2021, 5:44 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What sort of job do you do?

I’m just curious.

Glad you’ve been able to resolve this somewhat.


Nothing very exciting but I enjoy it, I don't want to give too many details out about myself.

Thanks, I'm getting there!



CrabbyHermit
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06 May 2021, 5:46 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Best to wait and see what happens. Great you can speak to your husband like that. It is good.


Yes, that's what I think. Although I'd prefer to know how everything is going to work out now, not keen on suspense.

Thanks.



kraftiekortie
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06 May 2021, 8:33 am

I only asked because various jobs call for various types of advice.

My job doesn’t have much social requirements; others are more demanding in that sense.