Self-awareness relative to age range?

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I'm wondering what you all think about the notion of "self-awareness", which kind of has a fluctuating meaning, but I am thinking about it relative to periods of life...for both ASD and NT folks. I've heard it said now and again that you don't really attain self-awareness until your 30s (and that's presumably with NTs in mind), so I guess for us it must be in one's 40s, or even later (?) since there's that heuristic formula of "two-thirds of one's age" applied to Aspies' emotional mentality.

I've also heard it bandied around here and there that your personality is not really calcified until around the age of 27; again, that must be with an NT population in mind.

My self-awareness definitely took off after my diagnosis at 27. I wasn't aware of weird mannerisms, somewhat monotone voice, or tics or stimming or such until post-diagnosis and then was able to correct or mask those more effectively and assess people's facial expressions more in dialogue with them.
But this is the thing about the neuro-centric definition of "self-awareness"...it seems to be awareness of how others see you, not how you (accurately) believe you appear to them. Or, to NTs, the two perspectives seem to be one and the same - which I think has to do with more innate ToM or theory of mind.

Help. How do you become (more) self aware???

Therapy has remarkably improved my self awareness…

This seems to tally with my experience, when I was in my twenties I had very little self-awareness.
I was probably about 40 when I became fully aware of my social missteps and neurological differences and started actively wondering "what the heck is wrong with me?"
But having a complete misconception of what autism/aspergers is, it took me until I was 45 (and a lot of googling) to work it out.
Since then self-awareness of my autism has increased to painful proportions, but I'm hoping that the ongoing journey will reveal something of purpose and meaning behind it all, and I can achieve greater self-acceptance.

I even wonder if delayed self-awareness might be a protective mechanism in autistics.
Because developing a true understanding of all the things we get wrong (or just don't get at all) is so painful. In some ways it's better to be unaware.

I was at least 75% self-aware by the time I was 6.

This doesn’t mean I didn’t screw up royally throughout my life.

And it’s a bit worse because of my self-awareness.

I also have mistakenly(?) thought "self-awareness" was something more like social awareness: awareness of how other's perceive one. Per my Google search:

self awareness: conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires

which has nothing to do with how one is perceived.

I am very aware --- but am still unclear about the self-awareness. For instance, I have always been hyper aware of my feelings and others' feelings, but cause or effect eludes me (as there are infinite contributors really). I know that I am capable of being very kind, very mean and everywhere in between - so my character seems to be where I choose to "hang out" most of the time. I have lots of desires, an overwhelming amount so .... I don't get it. I think my therapist would say I'm more self-aware than most people (and always have been), but I seem to lack self or action or something. Perhaps I am hyper self-aware but lack in assertiveness to an alarming degree, so the self-awareness (and social awareness) is just plain hurtful.

There are stages. OP is referring to levels 3-5.
I'll try to summarize it;

Level 3 is usually around theory of mind, the idea around empathy, representation of self and others.

Level 4 is like some form of temporal permanence and social bigger picture thinking.

Level 5 is true self awareness. A lot may never able to attain it at all.
It can drive a person mad if not ready.




There are some accounts I've previously read around autistics and stages of self awareness.

There's a recurring theme around it; it involves either not attaining anywhere at level 3, or ignoring and skipping level 3.

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I wasn't really self-aware at all until around 11-12, and since then I've steadily gained self-awareness, almost to a disabling degree due to the social anxiety it gives me. I don't know if I have more or less self-awareness than people my age, though.

Perhaps I should add too, that despite not having great self awareness until I was probably in my mid twenties (Complex-PTSD related I believe), I was HYPER-AWARE of my surroundings, often intuiting and aware of things beyond my years from a very young age.

I always knew that something was off but could never quite put a definition to it. I just kind of roll with it now.