What do you do during a meltdown…

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How do you explain thee anger?

What wouldn’t you do during a meltdown?

1. Keep it private, if you can, walk away and let loose where you cannot be observed.

If you have to explain it to someone, you can say that anger, frustration, and disappointment are all reactions to a conflict between expectations and reality. This is amplified if the conflict arises suddenly.

The problem for Aspies is that a faster or more sensitive neurology also amplifies things so that what might be more manageable for a neuro-typical can be a cascading avalanche for an Aspie.

The ability to increase the intensity of focus also creates a vulnerability with an ancillary focus of emotional intensity. A classic example is the mental anticipation of a series of actions required to complete a particular task. As each step is accomplished any interruption or unplanned event can cause anxiety to overshoot the bounds of constraint that keeps things in check.

Melt downs are particularly difficult for younger Aspies as one has not had enough time to develop management skills.

Melt down prevention;

1. Contingency planning.
2. The older you get, the more ways you have seen for things to go wrong and can anticipate them.
3. Slow down the process so that room is left to consider the unanticipated when it occurs.
4. Cut back on caffeine.

Melt down management;

1. Get some place private.
2. Recover quickly and apologize.
3. Assure others you are not mad at them.
4. Use humor when possible such as after dropping something say, "I can't understand why I lost that job at the munitions plant".

It can be better to swear than to break something. It can be helpful to swear in another language. However, I once found in New Zealand that swearing in Spanish was not as obscure as I thought.

I'm not sure I've ever had meltdowns but I used to have outbursts before I went on antidepressants, that involved:-

Crying
Whining
Swearing
Arguing with loved ones
Yelling insults at loved ones
Hitting myself in my face or head because I was angry with myself
Slamming and kicking doors

These were usually triggered by the wrong words that might have been said to me, or disappointment, or depression, or even anxiety. These always happened at home and when there are loved ones around (I never had an outburst when on my own, because outbursts were a way of expressing myself when I was too overwhelmed with emotions to just express civilly).

I replaced meltdowns with shutdowns.
Got me into less trouble, and was also easier to blame on something, like lack of sleep.

Dependant on if for me alcohol was involved. These are just anger outbursts but usually arise only when I physically can't successfully mask anymore.

Otherwise it's just a s**t load of general yelling, refusing to talk to anyone, bang n throw stuff and heap of stimming.

I know how to hold it in and let it out later and elsewhere.
I also know how to shutdown instead of explode.


And anger itself seem to be too in character of me to react with, so...
People may take meltdowns for just being upset -- being irritable and moody.
And people knew there can be several reasons why. Let alone shutdowns.


In an emotionally expressive culture...

There are several ways being angry or even being violent can be more forgiving towards.
Of course one also had to acknowledge the limits of that forgiveness or patience.


Anyways.
My natural reaction to meltdowns are particularly violent.

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I scream and/or cry and try to isolate myself. If I'm having a really bad meltdown I hit things. I've given myself concussions before and I have a messed up wrist from it.

I’ve had some pretty bad ones, and usually in conjunction with an argument with a loved one.

After seeking support they don’t happen much anymore or are less severe.

In the past I was known to:

Hit/break things (put holes in the wall as a teenager and smashed a window once)
Yell and swear
Refuse to move or leave the other person alone
Pace
Bang my head, scratch or hit myself as a form of self harm

Now meltdowns look like:
Noticeably raised heart rate
Tension in my body expressed by arm crossing or restlessness
Pacing
Rigid thought patterns
Physical malaise such as stomach aches or headaches

Thinking now, my meltdowns are obviously more internalised and I’m much better at taking space.

Each in the past and present would often lead to absolute exhaustion and sleep.

I haven't had meltdowns since I was a kid, but there are times when I'll have outbursts. Usually, I just cry alone when they happen and then I'll pretend like nothing ever happened.