Are we exploitable? Maybe it's just me.

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The summary of my post assessment appointment indicated that I could be vulnerable to being exploited. I think she was right. I helped out a guy on a FB group because he had lots of animals he looked after, and was friendly towards me. Truth is I think he sees me as a 'sucker and a fool' . He's now taken to sending a request for money to my PayPal account. It's so hard to tell if people really like you,or just see you as a soft touch.

I find it very hard to understand when people are "acting in layers". That's the best way I can describe it.

The most common description for AS is that we don't understand things like sarcasm or irony. But I get those, fine.

What I don't get is people saying one thing when they genuinely mean another, in seriousness rather than in comedy, or setting up situations to deliberately mislead. For example rigging the timing and agenda of a meeting so it will undemocratically go a certain way.

If someone is upset, I am useless at working out what is wrong on my own. So I'll ask. If the response is "Nothing, go away" then that's what I'll do. Apparently that's wrong. But in my mind I've given an opportunity to explain so I can help, if that's refused then my involvement ends.

For the most part this just leads to small scale misunderstandings that can be sorted out.

But it leaves us VERY vulnerable to sociopaths and psychopaths. People who set up false situations that are many layers deep, just because they enjoy playing with people. We're cheap entertainment for them.

I definitely am, and I've read about many others who are.

From what I've seen, the degree of it can vary from person to person.

In the past I was particularly vulnerable to doing things for others. I'm a hard worker, I like helping people, and my first instinct is towards generosity and good will. Even when it's someone that I don't like and I know they're taking advantage of me, if they ask a certain way it's very hard for me to decline. I've had to adopt a very 'mercenary' or 'merchant'-like mindset to requests to deal with it and it works, but there are still plenty of exploitable loopholes. After having a cherished textbook wrecked and some good tools lost/damaged, it gave me the impetus to be extremely stingy with lending people things, at least.

This is particularly difficult to deal with with conversation topics. I have PTSD and a whole bunch of issues I don't like talking about. You can imagine how that might work out for me. More complications.

Random related thought: Hmm maybe autistics' tendency to overshare comes from the same place as our tendency to do what others tell us to do. It feels similar somehow.

How f****d up is it that saying "No" is not only a crucial life skill, but also one that is rarely, if ever, properly taught.

I'd recommend everyone to read this, and follow the links to other related stuff, so you better understand such things, making it easier to better decisions. Preparation is half the battle. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coercion

I found out today he's approached another person, touting for financial help. He handled it far better than me. Assertiveness is far from a strong point for me.

Yes. I am also "too" nice (and trusting and honest). Sad that being nice (and trusting and honest) is considered a weakness or a vulnerability. I have been fortunate that I've done well enough this way. My ASD-like BFF is the same way. When I know I am being mildly exploited it's ok - I'm not afraid to be the fool --that's the "high road" for me ---- when I don't know (like being underpaid at work and gaslighted), it's more upsetting. Exploit me on my terms, not yours.

Yep. I'm an expert at being taken advantage of.

Yup. Really relate to what CinderashAutomaton said. Kind and generous hearts, being a hard worker, all that makes those of us who share these qualities vulnerable. Also, I find I assume people have good intentions or are as honest as I am, and it isn't true.

I feel many NTs share quite a few traits with cluster B personality disorders- psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists etc. They are willing to exploit, hurt, use, destroy, manipulate, lie...so forth, if they feel another person is vulnerable. I can't help but feel the NT brain is very predatory, shortsighted and hierarchical in nature. I give a lot of space to NT people for this reason. I simply do not trust them based on life experiences of being exploited. Very done with their nonsense.

I am not easy to exploit, because although I'm not very good at spotting red flags, I'm stubborn and have learned a few rules I stick to rigidly that protect me. I don't share my IRL identity online, I don't give people money unless I know them IRL, I don't do stuff to my computer on the recommendation of people calling me over the phone, etc.

my parents seem to think so atleast to the point where they don't think anyone on the spectrum should ever work for a living ...

People usually mistake me for being gullible when actually I'm not, I'm just a very passive people pleaser. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to be selfish and inconsiderate but then I'll be accused of "lacking empathy" - even though being nice all the time isn't necessarily what empathy means but empathy has separate definitions for Aspies and NTs. NT empathy means emotional manipulation, exploiting and bullying. Aspie empathy means being nice to everyone all the time and if we decide to emotionally manipulate or exploit or bully other people then we're "lacking empathy".