Do people ever say to you "Stop Acting" or "G

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LadyMacbeth
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27 Jul 2007, 9:23 am

Anyone else get the "Get over it"?


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Zymish
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27 Jul 2007, 9:11 pm

My husband frequently assumes that when I'm feeling a particularly strong emotion, that I'm intentionally overreacting to get a response from him. We've had many arguments about this, usually ending with him saying something like, "If you want attention from me, just tell me!" and me saying something like, "Has it ever occurred to you that I might actually feel emotion, and that not everything I do is just to get attention??"

It gets very frustrating.



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27 Jul 2007, 10:02 pm

asking what you want to be when you grow up, at age 41, is probably a joke or a compliment. its meant to be taken as "we are still young at heart". Your response was perfect though. Other than that, reply with "I dont know, how about you?"



LadyMacbeth
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28 Jul 2007, 4:14 am

Fuzzy wrote:
asking what you want to be when you grow up, at age 41, is probably a joke or a compliment. its meant to be taken as "we are still young at heart". Your response was perfect though. Other than that, reply with "I dont know, how about you?"


It isn't always. Even the most affected aspie knows how angry or jokey a tone is.


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alexbeetle
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28 Jul 2007, 6:49 am

zee: I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting a pointed grey hat!
panzyo: I too now want a cocunut filled with kiwis...

I get told by family to 'get over it', usually in relation to something horrible they have done to me so I got over them and don't talk to them hardly ever as I don't need their cr*p.

I don't want to grow up but learning to get over stuff might make me happier.


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28 Jul 2007, 8:48 pm

alexbeetle wrote:
zee: I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting a pointed grey hat!
panzyo: I too now want a cocunut filled with kiwis...

I get told by family to 'get over it', usually in relation to something horrible they have done to me so I got over them and don't talk to them hardly ever as I don't need their cr*p.

I don't want to grow up but learning to get over stuff might make me happier.

If your family's so bad it would be a good idea not to talk to them any more.


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zee
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28 Jul 2007, 9:22 pm

The_Chosen_One wrote:
alexbeetle wrote:
zee: I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting a pointed grey hat!
panzyo: I too now want a cocunut filled with kiwis...

I get told by family to 'get over it', usually in relation to something horrible they have done to me so I got over them and don't talk to them hardly ever as I don't need their cr*p.

I don't want to grow up but learning to get over stuff might make me happier.

If your family's so bad it would be a good idea not to talk to them any more.


I think lots of people would be happy to break off with their families for good. But how to do this? As simple as it sounds, you can't just tell them "I don't want to talk to you, ever again." And ignoring them doesn't work... my parents are always hounding me, and saying they're worried about me, and they're afraid something's happened to me (like they could do anything to make it better!)

PS--the hat was very cool, it was like the traditional ones worn by the locals! :P



The_Chosen_One
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28 Jul 2007, 9:31 pm

zee wrote:
The_Chosen_One wrote:
alexbeetle wrote:
zee: I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting a pointed grey hat!
panzyo: I too now want a cocunut filled with kiwis...

I get told by family to 'get over it', usually in relation to something horrible they have done to me so I got over them and don't talk to them hardly ever as I don't need their cr*p.

I don't want to grow up but learning to get over stuff might make me happier.

If your family's so bad it would be a good idea not to talk to them any more.


I think lots of people would be happy to break off with their families for good. But how to do this? As simple as it sounds, you can't just tell them "I don't want to talk to you, ever again." And ignoring them doesn't work... my parents are always hounding me, and saying they're worried about me, and they're afraid something's happened to me (like they could do anything to make it better!)I think some people can write a letter to their folks and say they want nothing more to do with them UNTIL they stop harping on about particular topics. The ball is then in the folks court to fix their behaviour.

PS--the hat was very cool, it was like the traditional ones worn by the locals! :P


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zee
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28 Jul 2007, 9:45 pm

But you can't expect other people to adjust or "fix" their behaviour... that's just wrong.



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29 Jul 2007, 9:10 am

My family don't really care about each other and we only meet up once a year now anyway, I just stopped contacting them, I used to feel it an obligation if to do so, and am even thinking about dropping out of the yearly thing as last one was so bad.

zee: If your parents are interfering then maybe you could try just being assertive and clear for example when I left home to go abroad to work I would ring my kids every day (they are 22 years) and be nagging them as to whether they fed the dog, did this, did that etc.. In the end my daughter just said 'Mum you don't live here anymore it is none of your business' so I had to back off and leave them to it.
This may upset your parents initially to get talked to like this if they are NT but it is necessary to breaking their dependance on you (yes that is the right way round - they NEED you to need them)


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29 Jul 2007, 11:18 am

Age1600 wrote:
Prudence wrote:
By "stop acting," do you mean they're telling you to stop overreacting or stop faking a different personality?


I'll give you an example, I was having a sensory overload and all the noises and lights at the place where I was, was bothering me, so I acted very distant, and disoriented. When I saw my friend, I was all messed up, and she goes to me "Stop Acting." Things like that, or if I get too overly excited about something, and clap and jump up and down, people will go to me "Grow Up." I used to get yelled at, or hit one way or another for just being overly excited, giggling, or clapping, or just being "too happy", because as my father would say I needed to "Grow Up."


This incident reminded me almost instantly of a similar problem I faced a few days ago. My dad and I were at a very fancy restaurant, and at the time I had warned him that I was feeling kind of nauseated and I doubted that I would be able to eat as much as I would like to. When I got to the restaurant, I had a difficult time eating because my stomach already felt sick and I hadn't digested properly for the whole day; on top of it the restaurant was very distracting in itself, there was too many things to look at, too many people talking at once, and plenty of frustrating noises from utensils and plates to listen to. I couldn't bring myself to eat my main course at all, and I felt a terrible head ache; I couldn't stop bouncing my leg from the stress and I put my head down on the table from my headache. At this point my dad began angrily ranting at me to stop being such a spoiled, rotten brat. He said that I was purposefully trying to 'piss all over this whole f***ing restaurant' apparently because I was such a 'good for nothing, know-it-all, piece of sh*t genius, who just HAS to ruin dinner for everybody else.' He said I obviously wasn't sick at all, I was just an 'stupid f*cking teenager who needs to get attention, too arrogant to try to entertain anybody.' I tried to tell him I felt sick and had a headache, but he didn't listen, he simply continued ranting until we got home.

Keep in mind this could just be my dad, I remember that he used to beat me when I told him I had headaches from certain smells as a child. At the same time, while it's impossible for me to feel any sort of suffering from the mental disorder I've tried to explain to him (and he ignores), he is constantly suffering from anxiety attacks. Why the double standard?


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zee
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30 Jul 2007, 2:47 am

Wow... in addition to being a jerk, your dad sounds really immature. There's no need to stoop to personal insults like peice of sh*t, etc. You should tell HIM to grow up! :?



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30 Jul 2007, 8:46 am

my brother got married the other week and I wasnt invited...

Why???

Because I was not aloud to be myself.

At his stag night we went clubbing and I can really dance. So much so that it can piss people off. To me though this is normal. I lvoe dancing and can appear to be quite flamboyant. This is me and I am not changing for anyone.

So... I told him that he has to accept me - ALL of me... or he doesnt accept me at all.

he said I dont accept you. So I left it there and did not go to the wedding.

I dont care who it is but I will not compromise who I am just so that another person can feel more comfortable around me.


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zee
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02 Aug 2007, 12:50 am

Your brother was probably stressed out about his wedding. He will probably regret what he said afterwards... and it must have made him look really bad to all the other family members that were there.



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03 Aug 2007, 2:58 am

My mom just always says "stop making excuses".


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