How would you “grade” your social skills?

Post Reply New Topic

I am easily at a D. I don’t fail but sometimes failure actually does happen. And sometimes that gets embarrassing for me but it’s a learning experience. I think it’s sometimes better than isolating. Somewhat less than half the time I get an F. I’m only at D because I smile, I’m friendly, I compliment, I try to say things that are insightful and mind expanding, I try to be positive and keep my energy high. I try to encourage others.

What is your grade and why?

C-

I can almost seem fluid except for it's just that I'm not very inhibited, so I tend to f**k up and get to feel anxious about it later.

Maybe a C or D?

I'm still super awkward, but I think I understand nonverbal communication, tone, etc. enough now that my understanding of other people isn't that bad anymore.

Any of these.

Meaning my socialization grade could've been anywhere between an A++ or an F--.


Why??
I don't know! I want to know why too. "Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't."
That's only what's observable enough to make any remark from myself or from anyone else.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

I'd say I have good social skills. I have improved a lot over say the last ten years and I would easily pass on par with the best of them.

I'll give myself a B

I'm charming, funny, I can use empathy and I'm sympathetic, I can read social cues as well and I have good eye contact and I am engaging.

These are all things I've worked on myself and haven't come naturally.

The only reason I didn't give myself an A is because I become self conscious of the fact that I'm doing it sometimes and then I go back in my shell.

Must try harder.

Anyone I don’t know well, I’m lucky to even manage to say anything understandable, so I get an F there (selective mutism in part caused by anxiety). When I am comfortable enough to speak, and am not entirely ignored, I probably get an average of D+. I’ve perfected the art of being invisible (which is what I’ve always done instead of “masking,” since I could never successfully do), the problem is that I don’t know how to turn that invisibility off anymore. But get me going on something and I usually end up doing the monologue thing. Pretty much all or nothing there. But I can read facial expressions that aren’t too subtle, I’m very good at seeing multiple sides of things. I’m also extremely concerned about upsetting anyone in any way, so rather than saying inappropriate or offensive things, I over-analyze before saying anything, and if I have any doubt about anything, I don’t say it, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. Basically I think I have a decent feel for things, but I don’t really know more than the basics of how to actually use that information.

I can't remember the last time I socialised lol, unless chatting to another neurodiverse friend via WhatsApp counts In which case, that goes completely A+++

On a good day maybe I can make it to a C. I think it also depends who I am talking to. Generally, I think it is easier with older people. I can't seem to get along that well with people my own age unless they are also neurodiverse. I'm really not great at putting on an act and maintaining it, especially as I've gotten older. I just don't have the energy for it anymore. I save it for when I really need it, like at job interviews or something.

My social skills are "spiky", so I can't just give myself one grade. I have a different grade for different social skills and it's impossible to give myself one overall grade.

I'll give myself a 'C' at one-on-one encounters; a solid 'F' in a group setting. I still can't get beyond small talk with anyone and actually make a friend though. So maybe I should just give myself an 'F' overall?

As many here have said, it is a hard thing to grade. If this broad category were split into multiple (more specific) categories and assigned a grade, I could probably come up with an average. That being said, I don't think my social skills are great at all. What categories would do you all think should apply here?

Maybe:
-Masking 101 - I'd get a B+ on this one. I have a lot of experience with it, but I'm unlearning it to the best of my ability.
-Holding Fluid Conversations with Strangers - I'd get a D on this one.
-"Appropriate" Gestures & Mannerisms - I'd get a C on this one.
-
?
Please feel free to add on

I've met plenty of none asd people who's social skills leave quite a lot to be desired.

I reckon people who use this forum are pretty cool and have quite good skills. At least most are self aware enough to even be able to self assess.

I'm a C, I think.

I can do business talk. I can do day-to-day social interactions (shop keepers, doctors, my kids teachers - that sort of thing). Generally I'm okay when I feel like there's a 'purpose' to the conversation.

Close family (I mean my partner and daughter), I'm relaxed, I am myself. My partner does observe that I'm not terribly communicative but I don't feel like I'm under pressure or have to mask. It feels natural.

Friends (I don't really have any, I guess I mean my partner's friends) and wider family I can do for a limited time period. I can't relax and I present a very managed version of myself. I find it exhausting.

I like to know a conversation is a possibility so I can prepare.

If a stranger surprises me by initiating a conversation, I'm all at sea. Mind goes blank.