Worst misinterpretations of your motives?

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hurtloam
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06 Nov 2021, 5:32 pm

Ok my flatmate wasn't that bad. Compulsive liars are a nightmare. My Mum worked with one. Things didn't end well for the woman. She got caught out a few times.

Ironically my Mum is very truthful, but people often don't believe her because she has a tendency to believe really random internet conspiracies. She truthfully tells you what she's learned. She truthfully tells you everything else as well, but she's fed up with people not believing her when it's something really important and without a doubt factual. She just gets ignored.



Dear_one
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06 Nov 2021, 5:39 pm

My ex had a tendency to exaggerate. All her friends got used to it, and would discount her stories accordingly, by their best guess. Then, she'd exaggerate more to compensate. The trouble is, lying takes so much mental effort that people manage to actually change their memories, and then they go off the deep end.



ronglxy
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06 Nov 2021, 6:06 pm

That I'm fake, inauthentic & a con is my worst.

Happened often in high bureaucratics when I had to "pass as NT" to be effective to non-tech types.



Lady Strange
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06 Nov 2021, 8:01 pm

Being accused of wanting to destroy my sibling's family, when that is the last thing on planet earth that I'd want to do. I love them a lot and have shown it in many ways. That really hurt a lot and still does. Have not gotten over that yet.



NyborE6
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07 Nov 2021, 12:12 pm

I think one of the most hurtful is being classified as uncaring, or lacking empathy.

The first instance of this I can recall is when I was 10 and my great-grandmother died. I didn't cry at the funeral, and afterwards was accused by a family member of being heartless. Similar when my grandfather (who helped raise me) died back in 2012.

It hurts to be thought of as uncaring, because in my view I do care and don't want to see others experience any misfortune. I just don't do well with crying or displaying strong emotions in front of others.



Jayo
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07 Nov 2021, 1:56 pm

NyborE6 wrote:
I think one of the most hurtful is being classified as uncaring, or lacking empathy.

The first instance of this I can recall is when I was 10 and my great-grandmother died. I didn't cry at the funeral, and afterwards was accused by a family member of being heartless. Similar when my grandfather (who helped raise me) died back in 2012.

It hurts to be thought of as uncaring, because in my view I do care and don't want to see others experience any misfortune. I just don't do well with crying or displaying strong emotions in front of others.


I think in some cases that reaction (or lack thereof) may be justified. Like if the recently-deceased persecuted you, ridiculed you, or made your life miserable in some way w/o trying to understand you i.e. putting the onus 99% on you to understand THEM, and reacting harshly when you "failed" in some way.

If they were more enlightened in their interactions with me, I'd probably cry in that situation. When my late stepmom passed away, who was like a borderline, narcissistic, histrionic Type-A personality who'd regularly emotionally abuse me (and my "beta" father didn't dump her sorry ass in response), her stepkids and others cried, but I couldn't bring myself to do so :evil: :evil: :(



Jayo
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07 Nov 2021, 1:57 pm

ronglxy wrote:
That I'm fake, inauthentic & a con is my worst.

Happened often in high bureaucratics when I had to "pass as NT" to be effective to non-tech types.


Well, yeah. I can TOTALLY see that happening!! Been there, done that. I read Dilbert regularly to try to dissipate the hair-pulling frustration from that kind of environment... humour is a pretty good antidote :D :) :lol:



SharonB
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07 Nov 2021, 2:05 pm

NyborE6 wrote:
I think one of the most hurtful is being classified as uncaring, or lacking empathy.

The first instance of this I can recall is when I was 10 and my great-grandmother died. I didn't cry at the funeral, and afterwards was accused by a family member of being heartless. Similar when my grandfather (who helped raise me) died back in 2012.

It hurts to be thought of as uncaring, because in my view I do care and don't want to see others experience any misfortune. I just don't do well with crying or displaying strong emotions in front of others.


Within the past three years:

I appeared similarly at my Aunt's funeral. I was sooooooooooooooo emotional that I was stone-faced so that I wouldn't have an outburst, and I could barely talk. Months later I had a dream about her passing in which I wailed really loud and I felt better afterwards.

My sister said it appeared I didn't care when my mom fled the room upset. I was beside myself with emotion but sitting quiet and still with my hands in my lap. I managed to squeak out - "I am very upset, my hands are shaking" (and raised one shaking hand briefly). She grunted an unsympathetic "huh" in response. Later I cried uncontrollably to release it.

Now that I know I am Autistic, I am working on proactively explaining my reactions to folks who are "safe" enough ---- "I'm feeling very strongly right now... I'll get back to you when I can..."



hurtloam
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07 Nov 2021, 3:17 pm

NyborE6 wrote:
I think one of the most hurtful is being classified as uncaring, or lacking empathy.

The first instance of this I can recall is when I was 10 and my great-grandmother died. I didn't cry at the funeral, and afterwards was accused by a family member of being heartless. Similar when my grandfather (who helped raise me) died back in 2012.

It hurts to be thought of as uncaring, because in my view I do care and don't want to see others experience any misfortune. I just don't do well with crying or displaying strong emotions in front of others.


That's awful. I didn't cry when my grandma died. I was 7. My family didn't berate me, they took it as very concerning and kept an eye on me to make sure I was ok.



Texasmoneyman300
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08 Nov 2021, 6:41 am

people think I am a Soviet Union Style Communist for saying that Jesus said sell everything and give all your money to the church and poor which is a horrible insult and misinterpretation were i live.I believe thats the ideal but idk for sure and thats too radical for people at my church so they think I am a Marxist.



Fnord
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08 Nov 2021, 9:24 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
people think I am a Soviet Union Style Communist for saying that Jesus said sell everything and give all your money to the church and poor which is a horrible insult and misinterpretation were i live.I believe thats the ideal but idk for sure and thats too radical for people at my church so they think I am a Marxist.
Matthew, the Tax Collector wrote:
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me."
What?!

And give up my guns?!


:wink:



Benjamin the Donkey
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08 Nov 2021, 9:36 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
people think I am a Soviet Union Style Communist for saying that Jesus said sell everything and give all your money to the church and poor which is a horrible insult and misinterpretation were i live.I believe thats the ideal but idk for sure and thats too radical for people at my church so they think I am a Marxist.


Now the large group of those who believed were of one heart and mind, and no one said that any of his possessions was his own, but instead they held everything in common. And the apostles were giving testimony with great power to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was on all of them. For there was not a needy person among them, because all those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles’ feet. This was then distributed for each person’s basic needs.
– Acts 4:32-35


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Last edited by Benjamin the Donkey on 08 Nov 2021, 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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08 Nov 2021, 9:38 am

People who call other people Communists usually don't know what Communism really is.....



Jayo
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08 Nov 2021, 10:18 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
People who call other people Communists usually don't know what Communism really is.....


Well yeah. What Jesus was preaching was all voluntary - do this IF you want to get into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Whereas communism is coercive, do this OR ELSE. 8O Everyone is forcibly equal and not allowed to own property, and if oppose that... you will be sent to a hellish place.

But as soon as you insert basic human attributes like envy and pride and want, and lasting security for one's family... then it all falls apart. These are not "sins" per se if in moderation (never mind the 7 deadly sins) - at least as an Aspie I have some insight as to where black-and-white thinking isn't appropriate :D



Jayo
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08 Nov 2021, 10:30 am

I should also mention, in the goal of proving that Jesus's "share your wealth" teachings are not subject to rigid interpretation akin to communism, he could also have been alluding to one's stage/station of life where one is very old and very wealthy. Because you can't take it all with you, so to speak. Take the example of Andrew Carnegie. He donated heavily to charitable causes, museums, the arts, etc., etc. He's one of the greatest philanthropists of all time. So I would say that he adhered to Jesus's teachings very well, yet was anything but a communist.



Dear_one
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08 Nov 2021, 10:38 am

Jayo wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
People who call other people Communists usually don't know what Communism really is.....


Well yeah. What Jesus was preaching was all voluntary - do this IF you want to get into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Whereas communism is coercive, do this OR ELSE. 8O Everyone is forcibly equal and not allowed to own property, and if oppose that... you will be sent to a hellish place.

But as soon as you insert basic human attributes like envy and pride and want, and lasting security for one's family... then it all falls apart. These are not "sins" per se if in moderation (never mind the 7 deadly sins) - at least as an Aspie I have some insight as to where black-and-white thinking isn't appropriate :D


Many brainwashed people assume that communism always includes totalitarianism, but the only connection is that communists that get freely elected are then either assassinated, or have to fight a war against the Capitalist forces. Either system can fall into serving one group at the expense of another, or just wasting things without careful consideration of pubic input rather than top-down rule.