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AnonymousAnonymous
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08 Dec 2021, 4:54 pm

Joe90 wrote:
"Hate" is a strong word. I think just a lot of people don't care or don't understand.


Many NTs indulge in stereotyping people on the spectrum.
(For example, my two bigoted uncles who believe the spectrum isn't real. :x )

Extending this post of yours, I say that NTs who indulge in these ways enjoy being ignorant.


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CockneyRebel
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10 Dec 2021, 1:17 am

People don't understand us. They're afraid of people and things that are different. I've stopped caring what people think of me 21 years ago.


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skibum
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11 Dec 2021, 2:33 pm

LoopyBanana wrote:
I find life with autism so bloody confusing. I know lots of people and they hate me, even though I'm always nice. Why is that? They look at me like I'm diseased and want nothing to do me. Even my own dad hates me. My mum is gone, I miss her so much, she was the only person who understood me. No one else does. I'm sick of being treated like I'm a piece of garbage. Do you guys get the same treatment from people?
I get treated like that sometimes, more often than is comfortable. I am so sorry you lost your mom. It sucks when people treat us like trash. Unfortunately, that is a reality that so many of us have to deal with. It's really important that we are kind to each other. :heart:


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11 Dec 2021, 2:45 pm

LoopyBanana wrote:
I find life with autism so bloody confusing. I know lots of people and they hate me, even though I'm always nice. Why is that? They look at me like I'm diseased and want nothing to do me. Even my own dad hates me. My mum is gone, I miss her so much, she was the only person who understood me. No one else does. I'm sick of being treated like I'm a piece of garbage. Do you guys get the same treatment from people?


I don't know. I've sometimes wondered if certain people do actually hate me or if they just don't trust me. It's easier to feel that they don't trust me because I can reason with that whereas if I believe that someone just outright hates me then it's a bit difficult to fathom.

I had a manager once who just hated women in general (even though she was a woman). She was so two faced as well. I used to purposely put her on the spot and ask her if we are OK and if she wanted me to leave. Then I'd push her even further by telling her that I have no intention of leaving. She hated me. I did it on purpose because I always think that if someone's going to hate me just because I'm female or just because I have a disability then I'll give them an actual real reason to hate me.



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11 Dec 2021, 3:23 pm

babybird wrote:
I had a manager once who just hated women in general (even though she was a woman). She was so two faced as well. I used to purposely put her on the spot and ask her if we are OK and if she wanted me to leave. Then I'd push her even further by telling her that I have no intention of leaving. She hated me. I did it on purpose because I always think that if someone's going to hate me just because I'm female or just because I have a disability then I'll give them an actual real reason to hate me.

In spite of what a lot of people say about retaliation only escalating the problem, I suspect that giving some of those jerks an occasional slap may do more good than harm.



UncannyDanny
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11 Dec 2021, 3:36 pm

People tend to hate us mainly because they don't understand us.


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babybird
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11 Dec 2021, 3:45 pm

Do you know that's the reason though?

I happen to think that people just enjoy to discriminate against people who are different and this needs addressing. I won't allow someone (especially in the workplace) to behave differently towards me because I'm different.

Unless you're proactive in educating people who hate you because they "don't understand" you then you're just letting them off the hook.



UncannyDanny
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11 Dec 2021, 4:57 pm

^Well, I didn't say that people remain being kept in the dark about us, did I?

But, you are correct. People SHOULD be educated about autism, while still treating us like, you know, ACTUAL PEOPLE, and not have an excuse to discriminate us that much.


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skibum
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11 Dec 2021, 5:14 pm

babybird wrote:
Do you know that's the reason though?

I happen to think that people just enjoy to discriminate against people who are different and this needs addressing. I won't allow someone (especially in the workplace) to behave differently towards me because I'm different.

Unless you're proactive in educating people who hate you because they "don't understand" you then you're just letting them off the hook.
I think the reason is that they feel threatened by what they don't understand. So they have a hate response which comes from a place of fear.


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12 Dec 2021, 1:00 am

Uncanny Valley effect


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12 Dec 2021, 2:09 pm

People who hate others without valid reasons don't qualify as "people". More like lunatics or losers. Think about how you avoided being involved with all these "people" will make you feel much better about it. :) Now, if they're just not paying attention to you maybe you can learn some ways to be friendlier and more noticeable. i.e. wearing something that would draw attention (nothing vulgar please) and be an ice breaker to small talks. In my experience most people are too involved with their own issues and emotions to notice others, especially younger people nowadays tend to be very lonely, but not bother to do something to make friends. Keeping friends is a learning experience and you'll not always get the right ones or manage to maintain them. But you'll get better if you keep trying. I wish you the best luck!


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14 Dec 2021, 10:16 pm

LoopyBanana wrote:
I know lots of people and they hate me, even though I'm always nice.

A second reason exists. The first reason is what people already said: Hate of difference. The second reason is something I had to learn the hard way:

Many people interpret nice behavior as submission. They think in terms of ranking each other. Being nice to someone is too often interpreted as an act of submission -- as if you're saying that your social ranking is lower than the person you're being nice to.

So, you think you're simply being nice. In your viewpoint, what you're doing is nothing other than being nice. You're correct. However, in the minds of many other people, when you be nice to them, it's as if you're saying, "My social ranking is lower than yours."

Sometimes when you're nice to someone, the person interprets it as a sign of weakness. They think you're weak because you're nice. For example, the expression "nice guy" is too often used as an insult.

So, stop being nice to such people, and eventually they'll start liking you better, or at least they'll dislike you less. Unfortunately many people also respond well to slightly bad treatment, but I prefer to avoid such people as much as possible.

Some people will even like you better if you tease them or lightly insult them in a teasing manner, but I don't recommend doing this, because it'll have negative side-effects on your own personality.



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14 Dec 2021, 10:45 pm

y-pod wrote:
especially younger people nowadays tend to be very lonely, but not bother to do something to make friends.

That's because their generation is smarter than our generation. They realized much faster than us that society is a sham, which is a depressing realization, which is why they feel unmotivated to seek friends. This explains their contradictory behavior of being lonely yet not making the effort to form friendships. What should they do about it? I don't know. It's a complex problem.

Young people may still feel lonely even when they have friendships because so much of "friendship" involves hiding your true opinions from your "friend", in order to keep the "friendship" alive. For example, the friend says, "Would you like a beer?", and the other friend says truthfully, "No thanks, it's already hard enough to think straight without alcohol killing even more of my brain cells."
Oops, the friendship is dead.

Or maybe the other friend answers truthfully, "No thanks, that brand of beer tastes like piss."
Oops, the friendship is dead.

Or the friend asks, "Who did you vote for in the last election?"
Oops, the friendship is dead.

Or the friend asks, "I loved the art gallery. What did you think?"
Oops, the friendship is dead.

So now the standard response is to tell the young person: "OK, you lost that friend, but he/she wasn't a real friend anyway."
And the lonely young person thinks, "They never are...."



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14 Dec 2021, 10:46 pm

"People who hate others without valid reasons don't qualify as 'people'. More like lunatics or losers"

It is subjective, which reasons are "valid"

Everyone has subconscious biases

Nobody is perfect

Besides, dispositional versus situational

"Losers"? Nobody wins everything

What is "winning" is subjective



Not everyone loves and hates the same things. However there is a "thin line between love and hate". Love and hate are not opposites. That is why I try to avoid both love and hate


Some emotional reactions are natural involuntary or subconscious



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15 Dec 2021, 10:38 am

LoopyBanana wrote:
Even my own dad hates me.

It's possible that your dad doesn't truly hate you, rather he hates himself, but he doesn't want to hate himself, so he projects or redirects his self-hate onto you. He might incorrectly view you as disabled or sick, and he might have very negative views of so-called "disabled people", and he holds himself responsible for producing a supposedly "disabled daughter", and he feels that he is to blame (yes he blames himself for YOUR personality!), but he doesn't want to feel this blame, so he projects it onto you -- he blames you; he appears to hate you, but the origin is actually his own hate of himself.

You might feel less unhappy if you realize that you're not the only hated person. Typical people too often hate (or at least dislike) each other. At first, it looks like they don't hate each other because they're polite to each other, but I've seen plenty of examples where politeness was used to mask hostility. I've even seen "I wish the best for you" said to someone who was clearly hated. When people are polite to each other, it actually says nothing about whether they like each other.

Another reason why you might not notice that some people hate or dislike each other is when they hate each other in a different manner than how they hate you. Just because they hate you differently, it doesn't mean they don't hate each other.

Yes it's awful to be hated by your dad, but it becomes less painful if you realize that he also hates other people, and he might even hate himself. If I was you, I would discuss the issue of my parents with a psychotherapist or psychologist, to help myself move beyond the problem and the hurt.



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15 Dec 2021, 2:52 pm

Because normies are evil people who dont listen to a reason.

I was banned from a forum becase of not even breaking rules but because of wrongthink. I begged them to not ban me I told them, if you disagree with my comments, call me idiot, but dont ban me.

I hate these f*****s. Ban is always a sign that the f*****s couldn't talk against me well. Any forum which bans polite people is trash and is run by people i despise the most.