How do you make friends on here?

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My last post didn't seem to get any attention.

I'm the top skunk on the website.
Well, I am the only skunk on this website.

Greetings.

BTW,
Based on your post count, that was your only post.

Personal Message someone and they might answer

You got an answer after 20 minutes.

Sometimes, I have to wait days

You don't have any post in your history? Could it be it was removed or you forgot to submit it?

Perhaps try other topics.

The best way to make friends just about anywhere is to introduce yourself (special interests, what you are looking for here, etc.

Its hard to talk to someone you know nothing about and who has only posted once.

For local autists a least - have a big stock of dark chocolate, fidget spinners, and weed (if it's legal in your area).

On here? Not even sure I know. What you'll find in online communication (I see it everywhere not just here), competition is more often competitive than collaborative. You may find people you as often agree or disagree with but debate in good faith, that can be a good start for chat acquaintances. You'll find people as well where you're able to have a deeper conversation with on some topic than you have in the past, that can be the start of good acquaintanceships as well.

The rest of it is really other people, like you, trying to 'find the others' so to speak. Sometimes you'll have that, other times you won't.

Well basically, to me atleast it seems, the best way to make friends is to PM someone privately and introduce yourself. That person would probably feel comfortable with that because you introduced yourself when you messaged in the beginning, and that encourages the other person to introduce him/herself too. They already have some details about you, so they feel more comfortable because of that.

There are other ways too, but that way I mentioned is very efficient, I think.

However, not all people are open for a friendship. They also might not have time to respond / stay in touch, so you might be offended by that. So dont take it personally. We have a life, we also might not always be in a good mood for a new friendship.

I dont really feel the need to make new friends, but if I meet someone interesting on here, I might stay in touch. I find it hard to believe I can find a girlfriend through this site or anything like that, so thats why my expectations are low. I'm not here to date anyone, and nobody else should.

I wish there was a way to ask permission to PM outside of the public forum—for I do believe one should ask permission before PMing somebody.

I don’t mind receiving nice, unsolicited PMs—but other people might be alarmed by receiving an unsolicited PM.

Really?

^Yes. There are people who do not like to receive PMs. They've had trauma in the past, and it might remind them of that trauma.

I guess the best thing to do is to send a PM asking permission to send a PM.

You put down in your signature that you welcome PMs. I guess people who wouldn't mind PMs should put that in their signature, like you did.

Mostly likely, a reluctance to receive PMs comes from women who have received unsolicited mail from guys before. Sometimes, the guys would send explicit pictures to them. Or the guy might be very persistent in wanting to date (the woman). Sometimes, guys can get quite abusive and threatening if they feel rejected. This happens to men when it comes to women, too----but not as frequently as the other way around.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 18 May 2022, 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

^ So you don't like getting PMs, kraftie?

/Mats

I said I didn't mind getting PMs.

I really don't get too many these days, actually.

What I don't like, obviously, is abusive PMs.

You also said that people who don't mind PMs should put that in their signatures.
(Don't mind me, I'm just teasing you)

/Mats

Although I do have some PM exchanges that I initiate.
I've never gotten an unsolicited PM so far.

I haven't yet deciphered why this is.

I think, it doesnt have to be in a signature. If someone is interested to get to know you better, or want to form a friendship of some kind they would probably PM even if you didnt state anything in a signature. But its not something I would be so glad to receive, a random PM from someone I dont know. I wouldnt necessarily want to start a friendship with somebody on here. I came here to participate in discussions and thats the main intention. I might even ignore a PM if I notice somebody who is kinda weird have sent it to me, but maybe I wont ever be PM'd altogether.

I think, if you state something like this in signature it kind of shows you are lacking friends which is a bad impression. If someone cares about you / to know you better they would PM. If they dont, its still okay. You dont have to PM anyone and nobody have to PM you. Yeah, I guess the whole PMs thing is nothing special anyways.