Did you noticed that NT frowning on atypicals having sex?

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pawelk1986
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17 Jan 2022, 9:12 am

Have you not noticed that the neurotypical society is frowning at the fact that people recognized by this society as a disability, i.e. people with autism or ADHD? or with real mental problems, want to have sex, even ok with LGBTQ if they're NT :-)?



Fnord
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17 Jan 2022, 9:20 am

Maybe . . . I never gave it much thought.

Perhaps the "Normies" are afraid the "Abbies" will reproduce and pass along their disabilities to their children.



kraftiekortie
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17 Jan 2022, 9:34 am

I don’t care what “neurotypical society” believes as far as disabled people having sex is concerned.

It’s none of their damn business.



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17 Jan 2022, 9:38 am

Fnord wrote:
Perhaps the "Normies" are afraid the "Abbies" will reproduce and pass along their disabilities to their children.

Given that some of us have chosen to render ourselves sterile, through the avenue of surgery, do we get a free pass in this regard?

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Fnord
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17 Jan 2022, 9:40 am

GadgetGuru wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Perhaps the "Normies" are afraid the "Abbies" will reproduce and pass along their disabilities to their children.
Given that some of us have chosen to render ourselves sterile, through the avenue of surgery, do we get a free pass in this regard?  Darron
I do not know.  One can only guess at "Normie" thoughts and motivations.



MaxE
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17 Jan 2022, 11:05 am

There's a definite line drawn between those whose disability is "severe" enough to prevent them from living independently and those who remain dependent, even partially, on some sort of caregiver. If you're fully independent, you can basically do as you please with whomever you want, assuming you can find a willing partner. But if you have caregivers, they probably believe or have been advised that they're responsible for protecting you from having sex and its consequences.

Two possible exceptions are 1.) There seems to be, ironically more openness toward same-sex physical relationships than heterosexuality. 2.) If disabled people are able to get legally married then they will be expected to share a bed and presumably have sex.

Assertion 1.) may seem provocative but I offer as evidence the TV show "Love on the Spectrum" for which it seems the producers were more supportive of the same-sex relationships which in general had a far better outcome than the heterosexual relationships and 2.) there was also a show "Born This Way" about Down Syndrome people in which one couple decided to get married and then the shocking consequence that this means they are now expected to have sex was dealt with as a bona fide "issue".

In reference to "Born This Way", women diagnosed with any sort of "disabling" condition are usually given an extremely intense sex-negative message, in the case of BTW it was outright lying on the part of the woman's parents. I also suspect many women on the spectrum, even those with the potential for living independently, have had a sex-negative message drilled into their brains and then have a very hard time overcoming it in adulthood. There's also a stereotype, embraced by the media, of "high-functioning" autistic women being more predisposed to seek sex for purely physical gratification than what is generally considered "normal" for a woman (I could give examples).

OTOH autistic men are popularly seen as "creepy" people who will cynically use a willing female for sex while not believing themselves wrong. I think sometimes they are encouraged to see themselves that way and accept that they were simply not "cut out" for adult relationships. Again, it seems to me there's more openness shown to autistic men who desire sex with other men.

And then there's the whole issue of legal consent but that's more or less self-explanatory.


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17 Jan 2022, 11:30 am

MaxE wrote:
women diagnosed with any sort of "disabling" condition are usually given an extremely intense sex-negative message

This idea was explored extensively in the Israeli fictional series "On The Spectrum", about three 20-something people living as flatmates in an apartment (with assistance of various types). The one female character's overwhelming desire to have a boyfriend (and "get f****d" on the third date) was shown to be "handled" by her brother, counselor and therapist in a very "careful" way, so as to steer her away from what they saw (subtextually) as a guaranteed disastrous outcome.

This series is currently on HBO Max, with English language dubbing (pretty well done, actually), should anyone here want to check it out. Fair warning- it's really not a "feel good" look at the subject. It's probably tough to sit through for anyone.

Even though the main characters are all "affected" enough to make them not directly relatable for me, there are enough moments of "Oh, s**t" to add an extra layer of discomfort in watching it.

I'm expecting the American remake version that will be on Amazon Prime starting on 1/21/2022 to be sanitized, with the most disturbing parts played more for laughs, but we'll see.

Also of note is that the Israeli actors portraying the autistic people were NTs, but the voice actors that did the English language dubbing were on the spectrum, as are all of the main actors that were cast for the American remake.

Trailer for the Israeli version:



Trailer for the American version:


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17 Jan 2022, 11:34 am

MaxE wrote:
There's also a stereotype, embraced by the media, of "high-functioning" autistic women being more predisposed to seek sex for purely physical gratification than what is generally considered "normal" for a woman (I could give examples).

Here's an example, though in this case, she's "headcanon" autistic, not explicitly described as such:

Image

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naturalplastic
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17 Jan 2022, 12:12 pm

Ive never noticed that. That normies disapprove of folks with with mental conditions having sex. Maybe thats a thing in your country (which is Poland), but not here.

And folks with disabilities dont attract as many mates anyway. My guess is that neurotypical homosexual men sire more children than do NT heterosexual men per capita.



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17 Jan 2022, 12:40 pm

GadgetGuru wrote:
MaxE wrote:
There's also a stereotype, embraced by the media, of "high-functioning" autistic women being more predisposed to seek sex for purely physical gratification than what is generally considered "normal" for a woman (I could give examples).

Here's an example, though in this case, she's "headcanon" autistic, not explicitly described as such:

Darron

I think I can offer two more unambiguous examples:

The Bridge (US version) — the Sonya Cross character. If you need details regarding specific plot points, I can provide. BTW this character is identified in the script as having "Asperger's Syndrome" which was still a thing in 2013 when the show was produced.

Everything's Gonna Be OK (Freeform) — the Matilda character. If you've seen all the episodes then I won't need to explain my reasoning. Goes without saying the character is unambiguously written as autistic in the script.

I am genuinely surprised that autistic women haven't objected to either portrayal. As I said before, it's a stereotype which, if it has any basis in reality (in fact I think it does have some but I won't go into that here) would be limited to a small subset of autistic women in general.

A less clear cut example might be the Paige character in Atypical. Now Paige was not identified as autistic in the script, but in forums I have encountered a wide-spread impression that she's undiagnosed HFA, even diagnosed autistic women have expressed this opinion. You could argue that Paige's primary interest in Sam is as a non-threatening but physically qualified sex partner although it seems she expended considerable effort to get him to cooperate. This example is debatable but I'll throw it out there anyway. The previous 2 examples I gave are so blatant as to be beyond discussion.


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17 Jan 2022, 1:28 pm

MaxE wrote:
A less clear cut example might be the Paige character in Atypical.

I haven't seen anything but clips of the first two shows you mentioned, but I saw the full run of "Atypical". I'd have to largely agree with your appraisal of the "Paige" character. Certainly qualifies as headcanon autistic, and also has a strong measure of using a very utilitarian approach to gaining a relationship.

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MaxE
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17 Jan 2022, 1:56 pm

GadgetGuru wrote:
MaxE wrote:
A less clear cut example might be the Paige character in Atypical.

I haven't seen anything but clips of the first two shows you mentioned, but I saw the full run of "Atypical". I'd have to largely agree with your appraisal of the "Paige" character. Certainly qualifies as headcanon autistic, and also has a strong measure of using a very utilitarian approach to gaining a relationship.

Darron


I recommend you watch both shows. Season 1 of The Bridge and both seasons of Everything's Gonna Be OK. A quick search suggests they're both available on Hulu.


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17 Jan 2022, 2:40 pm

MaxE wrote:
I recommend you watch both shows. Season 1 of The Bridge and both seasons of Everything's Gonna Be OK. A quick search suggests they're both available on Hulu.

I will, thanks.

I just started a one-month free trial of Hulu.
As long as I create a Google Calendar entry, I'm usually OK with canceling such things in time.
In fact, I've noted that you can usually cancel right away, then they let you keep using the service until the end of the free trial period.

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RightGalaxy
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17 Jan 2022, 2:46 pm

YES!! It's SO rude. Comments like, "I didn't think that THOSE people did that". So insensitive! :x



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17 Jan 2022, 2:48 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
YES!! It's SO rude. Comments like, "I didn't think that THOSE people did that". So insensitive! :x

It seems that a lot of us didn't, at least until alternate avenues of meeting people came about.
Thank you, Internet dating sites!

Darron


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pawelk1986
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18 Jan 2022, 2:56 pm

Fnord wrote:
Maybe . . . I never gave it much thought.

Perhaps the "Normies" are afraid the "Abbies" will reproduce and pass along their disabilities to their children.


Abbies? Never heard the word you mean aSpies? ;-)