Did you noticed that NT frowning on atypicals having sex?

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Fnord
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18 Jan 2022, 3:09 pm

pawelk1986 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Maybe . . . I never gave it much thought.  Perhaps the "Normies" are afraid the "Abbies" will reproduce and pass along their disabilities to their children.
Abbies? Never heard the word you mean aSpies? ;-)
"Normies" = "Normal" people.

"Abbies" = "Abnormal" people.

"Norm & Abbie" = A sitcom idea that was pitched to the networks about 15 years ago.



pawelk1986
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18 Jan 2022, 3:12 pm

MaxE wrote:
There's a definite line drawn between those whose disability is "severe" enough to prevent them from living independently and those who remain dependent, even partially, on some sort of caregiver. If you're fully independent, you can basically do as you please with whomever you want, assuming you can find a willing partner. But if you have caregivers, they probably believe or have been advised that they're responsible for protecting you from having sex and its consequences.

Two possible exceptions are 1.) There seems to be, ironically more openness toward same-sex physical relationships than heterosexuality. 2.) If disabled people are able to get legally married then they will be expected to share a bed and presumably have sex.

Assertion 1.) may seem provocative but I offer as evidence the TV show "Love on the Spectrum" for which it seems the producers were more supportive of the same-sex relationships which in general had a far better outcome than the heterosexual relationships and 2.) there was also a show "Born This Way" about Down Syndrome people in which one couple decided to get married and then the shocking consequence that this means they are now expected to have sex was dealt with as a bona fide "issue".

In reference to "Born This Way", women diagnosed with any sort of "disabling" condition are usually given an extremely intense sex-negative message, in the case of BTW it was outright lying on the part of the woman's parents. I also suspect many women on the spectrum, even those with the potential for living independently, have had a sex-negative message drilled into their brains and then have a very hard time overcoming it in adulthood. There's also a stereotype, embraced by the media, of "high-functioning" autistic women being more predisposed to seek sex for purely physical gratification than what is generally considered "normal" for a woman (I could give examples).

OTOH autistic men are popularly seen as "creepy" people who will cynically use a willing female for sex while not believing themselves wrong. I think sometimes they are encouraged to see themselves that way and accept that they were simply not "cut out" for adult relationships. Again, it seems to me there's more openness shown to autistic men who desire sex with other men.

And then there's the whole issue of legal consent but that's more or less self-explanatory.


You sound uncertain and to formal for Grammarly app :D

I know one ADHD and very mostly Aspie dude who was very high functioning and was gay, his parents was despaired initially that he's gay he not look like gay bui he was gay nevertheless, but latter reluctantly accepted and later liked because fact being gay have positive that no pregnancy :D



pawelk1986
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18 Jan 2022, 3:13 pm

Fnord wrote:
pawelk1986 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Maybe . . . I never gave it much thought.  Perhaps the "Normies" are afraid the "Abbies" will reproduce and pass along their disabilities to their children.
Abbies? Never heard the word you mean aSpies? ;-)
"Normies" = "Normal" people.

"Abbies" = "Abnormal" people.

"Norm & Abbie" = A sitcom idea that was pitched to the networks about 15 years ago.


Thanks now i getting it



pawelk1986
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18 Jan 2022, 3:15 pm

MaxE wrote:
There's a definite line drawn between those whose disability is "severe" enough to prevent them from living independently and those who remain dependent, even partially, on some sort of caregiver. If you're fully independent, you can basically do as you please with whomever you want, assuming you can find a willing partner. But if you have caregivers, they probably believe or have been advised that they're responsible for protecting you from having sex and its consequences.

Two possible exceptions are 1.) There seems to be, ironically more openness toward same-sex physical relationships than heterosexuality. 2.) If disabled people are able to get legally married then they will be expected to share a bed and presumably have sex.

Assertion 1.) may seem provocative but I offer as evidence the TV show "Love on the Spectrum" for which it seems the producers were more supportive of the same-sex relationships which in general had a far better outcome than the heterosexual relationships and 2.) there was also a show "Born This Way" about Down Syndrome people in which one couple decided to get married and then the shocking consequence that this means they are now expected to have sex was dealt with as a bona fide "issue".

In reference to "Born This Way", women diagnosed with any sort of "disabling" condition are usually given an extremely intense sex-negative message, in the case of BTW it was outright lying on the part of the woman's parents. I also suspect many women on the spectrum, even those with the potential for living independently, have had a sex-negative message drilled into their brains and then have a very hard time overcoming it in adulthood. There's also a stereotype, embraced by the media, of "high-functioning" autistic women being more predisposed to seek sex for purely physical gratification than what is generally considered "normal" for a woman (I could give examples).

OTOH autistic men are popularly seen as "creepy" people who will cynically use a willing female for sex while not believing themselves wrong. I think sometimes they are encouraged to see themselves that way and accept that they were simply not "cut out" for adult relationships. Again, it seems to me there's more openness shown to autistic men who desire sex with other men.

And then there's the whole issue of legal consent but that's more or less self-explanatory.


And what is wrong with women that like sex? :P



CockneyRebel
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19 Jan 2022, 1:07 am

It's none of anybody's business whether we shag or not.


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HighLlama
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19 Jan 2022, 6:51 am

pawelk1986 wrote:
Have you not noticed that the neurotypical society is frowning at the fact that people recognized by this society as a disability, i.e. people with autism or ADHD? or with real mental problems, want to have sex, even ok with LGBTQ if they're NT :-)?


I work with disabled people, and yes, this is very common. Sometimes the concerns are valid (such as whether the individual can care for a child or not), other times just based on fear.

The saddest is when parents/caregivers want to deny the individual has sexual feelings, period. You can see how invalidating that is for them.



Benjamin the Donkey
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19 Jan 2022, 7:16 am

No one frowns on me having sex, but that's probably because they don't see me doing it.


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MaxE
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19 Jan 2022, 7:40 am

pawelk1986 wrote:
And what is wrong with women that like sex? :P

Well women are supposed to only desire sex within the context of a loving relationship, if they don't want other women to label them as "sluts". Please understand that's the current societal standard as I understand it. I'm not personally endorsing it. When I was younger it seemed women were given more freedom to pursue sexual "adventure". Anyway women on the spectrum are expected to fear being taken advantage of sexually because of their disability and even more concerned about the need for emotional commitment from any potential partner and to consider any sexual advance from a man with suspicion. Again my understanding of the prevailing standard, not something I necessarily agree with.


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