Frustrated Because Nobody Thinks I Have Autism

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Polynechramorph
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10 May 2022, 6:29 am

When I got my diagnosis from top specialists Prof Dr. Dr. .... none of my friends or colleagues believed it. I think, as has been mentioned, that often the response was them trying to compliment me on how well I do despite being Aspie. Most of them however had no clue what AS is. The closest they'd come to being exposed to AS is from watching Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.
Thank god we've come a long way since.
I have educated them and let down my mask a lot more. Show my vulnerabilities and weaknesses more.

Ironically my brother who is, in my strong and well informed opinion, an Aspie in denial told me I was just fantasizing about it and said that if I wanted to be a Aspie then I could pull it off no problem. When I told him how that had hurt me he just kind of laughed it off saying that the whole field of psychology was a bad joke anyway.
A big bag of mixed nuts (literally).

I guess the best advice I could give would be to just be yourself and love who you are. Use the tools you have at your disposal (masking, being a walking encyclopedia) to your advantage and don't worry too much about what other people think.
I have found just as much conflict with Aspies as with NT's albeit of a different nature but I don't go for the whole tribalism thing. :D


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Lady Strange
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10 May 2022, 6:13 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Lady Strange wrote:
I like that Neurotypical Syndrome one, good stuff! :lol:
I wonder if there will ever be a vaccine to cure it.


Maybe someday! :lol: :lol:



orbweaver
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30 Jun 2022, 4:38 pm

"Defective normal" seems to be a very common autism way, especially if you present in the ASD-1 range. Heck, it got even worse for me *after* my diagnosis, because once I was aware of my "Aspie" presentation, I started being aware more of how other people perceived me - I got a hundred times better at masking after I knew what I was masking.
(And I started seeing it in other people.) I also started watching neurotypicals at this point and learned a lot about what they do! Before, I didn't even know what I didn't know. I just knew something was going on outside of my field of vision, and didn't know what it was.

You have to be very stereotypically autistic, or very literal, or exhibit obvious personality problems, before people begin to think you're on the spectrum. Lots of people think that autistic people are incapable of making friends (even with other autistic people).

I relate to a lot of this problem myself. It's usually only people close to me in my own age group, who are acquainted with other Aspies, that ever think about it or ask.

Honestly, I'm grateful at this point in my life that enough people *don't* immediately pick up on it. People depend upon me and I need to continue to appear to people as a competent adult.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Jul 2022, 10:45 am

People are also surprised when I tell them that I'm on the spectrum. They tell me that I don't look autistic. I never knew that there was supposed to be an autistic look, whatever that is.


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04 Jul 2022, 1:09 pm

NoClueWhoIAm wrote:
First of I want to state that I have an official diagnosis. The main autism symptoms recorded in my neuropsych eval, by two psychologists experienced in diagnosing autism, one with a PhD, were as follows: a history of problems engaging in back and forth conversation, initiating interactions, developing friendships, recognizing emotions in others, and being overly literal, repetitive body movements, fixated interests, difficulty adapting to novel situations, a low pain threshold, and heightened sensitivity to certain sounds, textures of food, touch, and temperature. There’s also common symptoms I don’t have that were noted- for instance, my prosody is normal, I am friendly, have no speech abnormalities, and my social overtures and responses are generally appropriate.

But usually when I meet people, including people who have known a lot of people with Asperger’s and other forms of autism (and who know a lot about what it entails and what it looks like), including OTHER AUTISTIC PEOPLE, they don’t think I have it. Now, there are a number of exceptions, and very few people have outright said “No way!” or “You don’t seem autistic”- in fact, most people kind of just don’t really respond- but I have asked a number of friends, many of who have it themselves, if I seem like I have autism or show any signs (because I wanted to know if the people who denied it were right or not), they will very often say “No” or “Not really” or even “Not at all.” When they talk about autism they don’t talk to me about it as if I’m someone who also has autism, but will with other diagnosed people, all of whom they insist obviously have it. And these same people tend to clearly see it in all other people we mutually know with an autism diagnosis. I know it’s stupid to go by the word of non-professionals, but I can’t help but notice just how often this happens, and how it doesn’t happen nearly as much to the other aspies I know (well, it does to a couple). But then they’ll comment on or criticize me for being clumsy, not getting jokes, taking everything too literally, obsessing over things, stimming, sensory issues, etc. Funny enough, a lot of the autistic people that many of my friends see as being obviously autistic don’t seem to have any of those symptoms I listed, oftentimes the only obvious symptom is their body language and poor self-awareness and reciprocity. So it’s almost like it doesn’t matter how many symptoms I actually have, there’s a certain autistic “vibe” that others can pick up in most people who have it, and if you have that vibe, you’re autistic in their eyes. If not, no. Supposedly my super literal thinking and all those other symptoms are just personality flaws of mine- even though they affect me in daily life. I even wear the same t-shirt everyday for crying out loud and spend hours a day playing the same song over and over. I know how dumb this must sound, and how it probably almost sounds like I WANT to be seen as having a disability, but I don’t think it’s that- I think it’s frustration at not being recognized as having the problems I have, as they are not seem as autism, simply flaws of mine. Also because it almost feels like I’m seen as an “other” amongst my autistic friends (although at least they’re actually my friends) just as much as I seem as an “other” amongst NTs (of whom I have very few friends). I never have felt like I belonged anywhere, as in, I was never really one of the group, and when I found out that supposedly my issues with that were due to autism, I was hoping that would change like it has for many people after being diagnosed. But no, even in groups of aspies, I’m not seen as one of them. And honestly, I’m starting to believe it. As official and thorough as my diagnosis is (what I listed above was just a summary at the end of my neuropsych eval), I’m honestly beginning to believe that I’m not autistic in the slightest, but am just a NT who’s bad at everything. In other words, just a loser. After all, people on the spectrum usually aren’t bad at everything, but sometimes I feel like I am.

I’m not sure why I’m posting this but this has really been bothering me lately and I can’t get it out of my head (I have OCD too, fyi). I guess I’m hoping that someone here will be able to give me some words to calm me down.
Welcome to my world. I have the same problem and it sucks to no end. It's actually causing me to have very severe neurological consequences because people refuse to believe that I am really Autistic and severely struggling. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. We just have to do the best we can to survive. :heart:


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04 Jul 2022, 1:12 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If I were you, I would be glad that I don’t exhibit apparent symptoms of autism.

It keeps you from being stigmatized at first glance.

I understand you want people to understand you, and that you’re irritated when people criticize you without understanding you. You feel lonely while feeling misunderstood. It’s not a good feeling to have, and I certainly don’t wish this feeling in you because I wouldn’t want this feeling in me.

Have you been affected by autism to the extent where you have difficulty keeping jobs, or making friends? If not, again, I would count myself somewhat fortunate, even amid feeling misunderstood.
that might not be survivable for some in the long run


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