Why do autistic women put up with this stereotype?

Page 2 of 4 [ 64 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,469
Location: Outter Quadrant

07 May 2022, 5:01 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I'm heterosexual and I'm in a healthy loving relationship with my NT boyfriend and I know what love is and how to express it, and I'm not with him just for sex at all (he's not with me just for sex either). Is that usual or unusual for an Aspie woman?


Am thinking you have the brass ring …for yourself , to have found such a man. :D

Have found over the years am not good at fitting into stereotypes . Most people I know would very likely agree with me . Both good and bad people .


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,466
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

07 May 2022, 6:27 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I'm heterosexual and I'm in a healthy loving relationship with my NT boyfriend and I know what love is and how to express it, and I'm not with him just for sex at all (he's not with me just for sex either). Is that usual or unusual for an Aspie woman?

For me to try to answer that would mean perpetuating the stereotype.


_________________
My WP story


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,466
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

07 May 2022, 6:30 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Alivia wrote:
I've never heard of this stereotype? Is this an American thing?

But we are the home of Simon Baron-Cohen (may his works be scattered, may his name be forgotten), so I think the stereotype about autistic women here is that autistic women don't exist.


The Bridge is a Swedish/Danish show

There was an American version. Alex Plank was retained as a consultant. That plot point seems to have been shared with the Scandinavian version.


_________________
My WP story


Lady Strange
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 21 May 2021
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 195
Location: USA

07 May 2022, 7:09 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I'm heterosexual and I'm in a healthy loving relationship with my NT boyfriend and I know what love is and how to express it, and I'm not with him just for sex at all (he's not with me just for sex either). Is that usual or unusual for an Aspie woman?


Yeah I'm the same way with my husband, tho sex stuff took awhile due to sensory stuff. Very lucky he was patient about it.



CarlM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2019
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 750
Location: Long Island, NY

07 May 2022, 7:59 pm

I know what your talking about but I don't think it is a stereotype. I have not seen it shown in films. I did see the first season of "Everything's Gonna Be OK" but not the later season(s). In "As We See It", Violet is shown as impulsive, socially clueless, and quickly jumps into a sexual relationship to be "normal". When she realizes it was just sex and not a relationship, she gets very angry. From what I know about ASD, sexual desire tends to be towards the extremes just like many of our characteristics.


_________________
ND: 123/200, NT: 93/200, Aspie/NT results, AQ: 34
-------------------------------------------------------------
Fight Climate Change Now - Think Globally, Act locally.


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,011
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

07 May 2022, 9:04 pm

Ah, I dunno much about the media. I'm just the sort who don't take it too seriously.

I have no characters to reasonate to, let alone idolize. No autistic archetypes fit me so far.

Whether it's the 'obnoxious autistic know it all' or that 'lonely autistic who just want a friend'.
Not even the 'easily advantaged autistic victim'...

Sadly, this includes the 'inexpressive alexithymic autistic'.
Not even the ever 'easily anxious, sensitive and awkward autistic'.


If someone tries to compare me to any fictional character, I'd either ignore or laugh at them.


Anyways. I'm one of the asexual aromantic asocial autistic female alright.

Just minus the sensory sensitivity induced sex repulsion and trauma. And serious mental health issues. And morbid health issues. And victimization and whatever loveless or lonely circumstances.
And the nerdy and/or clumsy and/or obese/anorexic get up.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,140
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

07 May 2022, 10:29 pm

As a female aspie, I thought the stereotype about autistic women is that we can't possibly be autistic.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,605
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 May 2022, 10:41 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why do you think you have no voice on this forum?


Do you use this forum? Have you not seen the female voices get shouted down by the "well akshuly" crowd who understand absolutely everything about feemales that no feemale herself could ever be self aware enough to understand. We are a hive collective that only want x, y and z. We cannot be individuals :D :D :D

There's no point talking to these idiots, so we all stopped trying.



*Feemale must be read in a Ferengi accent to fully understand my irritation.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,605
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 May 2022, 10:42 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
As a female aspie, I thought the stereotype about autistic women is that we can't possibly be autistic.


This is so true.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 50,661

07 May 2022, 10:45 pm

hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why do you think you have no voice on this forum?


Do you use this forum? Have you not seen the female voices get shouted down by the "well akshuly" crowd who understand absolutely everything about feemales that no feemale herself could ever be self aware enough to understand. We are a hive collective that only want x, y and z. We cannot be individuals :D :D :D

There's no point talking to these idiots, so we all stopped trying.



*Feemale must be read in a Ferengi accent to fully understand my irritation.



Did you see the one where a man told a woman to put butter in her vagina as a lubricant?



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,605
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

07 May 2022, 11:17 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why do you think you have no voice on this forum?


Do you use this forum? Have you not seen the female voices get shouted down by the "well akshuly" crowd who understand absolutely everything about feemales that no feemale herself could ever be self aware enough to understand. We are a hive collective that only want x, y and z. We cannot be individuals :D :D :D

There's no point talking to these idiots, so we all stopped trying.



*Feemale must be read in a Ferengi accent to fully understand my irritation.



Did you see the one where a man told a woman to put butter in her vagina as a lubricant?


No. I wish I could unread that



SkinnedWolf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2022
Age: 23
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,538
Location: China

07 May 2022, 11:19 pm

I don't know how to object because I'm not familiar with other autistic women.

If I'm seen as female, that does describe me to a certain extent.
Because I'm really not sure what "love" or "attachment" is, and I'm not going to remain a lifelong virgin for that uncertainty.
I think I sometimes just set the terms of the relationship so deliberately harsh to reduce the number of partners I have so that it doesn't seem out of line in the conservative culture I live in, rather than I really have any romantic needs.


_________________
With the help of translation software.

Cover your eyes, if you like. It will serve no purpose.

You might expect to be able to crush them in your hand, into wolf-bone fragments.
Dance with me, funeralxempire. Into night's circle we fly, until the fire enjoys us.


Last edited by SkinnedWolf on 07 May 2022, 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 50,661

07 May 2022, 11:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:
No. I wish I could unread that


He claimed it would help her with vaginismus.
Even better that she was afraid of gyne exams and possible infections.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 24,276
Location: UK

08 May 2022, 6:46 am

Whenever women post about personal women's issues here the thread turns into a sexual discussion among men who probably enjoy it. It can make us women feel a little embarrassed, which is why I asked the mods to lock one of my threads about it.


_________________
Female
Aged 32

Diagnosed with ADHD
Have Anxiety Disorder
Diagnosed with mild ASD but I don't identify as autistic


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 85,734
Location: Queens, NYC

08 May 2022, 7:01 am

I’m not one of those men.

And if Im out of line about something, Ill accept the criticism.

I understand very well that men don’t understand certain aspects of women.

I don’t get aroused by that sort of discussion. I’m sad that women have trouble accepting a man in the biological sense, and that some men don’t take no for an answer, anyway.

I wish I could do better at offering advice to women about such things. I wish women could climax as easily as men usually do.

I believe we should all have a voice. I don’t believe one should be criticized for being a man or for being a woman.

Im sure I’ll be accused of “mansplaining”—but that goes with the territory.



Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,469
Location: Outter Quadrant

08 May 2022, 9:29 am

Having grown up around brothers …am pretty familiar with regular critiques about anything I might say.
But consequently by the same circumstances,have kinda learned what to expect . And came to be familiar with many styles of male discussion . And sometimes can head off discussions . That might lead to sexualization of what is a
Logical or serious topic. It helps to have a wide range of reference information in ones head before hand .
Conversely, it takes a lot not to get reactive when males are just having fun . And not always taken it personally
If the conversation seems to be leaning that way. But sometimes it is just hopeless and best you can do is walk away.


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are