How do you tell if someone is genuine or not?

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firemonkey
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10 May 2022, 5:42 am

I've been exchanging DMs with someone I first interacted with on a Facebook group. He's seemed fine to me, but has been accused by a group admin of inviting 200 new FB accounts with few friends to the group. The admin was apparently warned about him months ago.

I don't know what to believe.



Last edited by firemonkey on 10 May 2022, 5:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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10 May 2022, 5:50 am

Don’t give out personal information.

Just enjoy the online chats—but don’t get too close to this person.



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10 May 2022, 10:27 am

Yeah, what kraftiekortie said.


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firemonkey
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10 May 2022, 1:57 pm

Thanks both of you.



IsabellaLinton
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10 May 2022, 2:03 pm

I would trust the group admin.
I can't trust my own perception or opinion when I meet people.
I'm not very good at reading people at all.

I don't think it means your friend is a bad person.
Maybe he did invite 200 people to the group.
Just keep in mind that you should be cautious.
Protect your personal information and don't get too attached.



ToughDiamond
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10 May 2022, 3:14 pm

I've heard that it's impossible to detect a lie, though a lot of people think they can use body language to do that.

I think it's very hard to be sure of anybody. An uncle of mine lost a lot of money when he went into business partnership with somebody he'd known since his school days and had never put a foot wrong until he was trusted with a pile of cash, which he suddenly vanished with.

I'm cautious and cynical by nature, and as far as possible I only trust people with things I can afford to lose. It's a balance of risks between trying to be too self-reliant and relying on others too much.

There are a few criteria I tend to use if I have to judge a person's integrity. If they talk to me like a salesman would, with the characteristic hyperboles, appeals to emotion, over-positive claims etc., I'm likely to view them with suspicion. If they describe things in a nuanced way then I might trust them better. I think rogues often run out of patience if the relationship isn't getting down to their sneaky agenda quickly enough for them, while a genuine friend has no particular agenda and just likes passing the time with me.



firemonkey
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10 May 2022, 3:23 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I would trust the group admin.
I can't trust my own perception or opinion when I meet people.
I'm not very good at reading people at all.

I don't think it means your friend is a bad person.
Maybe he did invite 200 people to the group.
Just keep in mind that you should be cautious.
Protect your personal information and don't get too attached.


I'm the same re reading people.The group admin did post screenshots which showed that the people being invited were very new to Facebook and had few Facebook friends. I think 200 is the most he's invited in a day, but he's apparently been inviting a lot of people over quite a long period of time. Someone suggested that a limit should be set as how many people can be invited in a day.

The group is one that discusses high range non proctored IQ tests and proctored IQ tests. The prone to paranoia, schizophrenic, part of me is questioning why he's been so full of praise for a test that I did well on. Has he been soft soaping me for an ulterior motive?



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10 May 2022, 3:32 pm

Someone recently asked about how you can tell what move your opponent will make next in a game of chess. Answer: you cannot. Statistics can be used - but even sophisticated statistical and Artificial Intelligence / Machine Learning (an name that means the same thing but promises less) can come up with false positives and false negatives. I would think the FB admin had more access to statistical data and lean towards that understanding. Google "KREMVAX" to read an amusing stories of internet hoaxes that fooled people and people determined not to be fooled who doubted the existence of a honest Russian College Professor. E-Mail Spam detection engines also give both false positives and false negatives. The bad guys get better at fooling people, and the good guys "catch" fake bad guys in the net with the real bad guys, while missing other real bad guys. "One smart man ties a knot, another smart man unties it". Russian and Chinese and USA spies and hackers are using the internet every day to fake each other out, and then there are the talented amateurs or organized crime types. And the hackers for hire. And the "hack-tivists". (Just visited the Spy Museum in Washington D.C. last week).

And in the middle of it are honest joes and ivans. Lots of those too.

Try to be cautious, but not paranoid.


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firemonkey
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11 May 2022, 4:34 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
There are a few criteria I tend to use if I have to judge a person's integrity. If they talk to me like a salesman would, with the characteristic hyperboles, appeals to emotion, over-positive claims etc., I'm likely to view them with suspicion.


That raises a red flag for me. He was full of praise for a score I got on a test, but there's mixed opinions about the test. One person said it was a rather poor test. The test was normed by a qualified psychometrician.

I'm far from dumb,but thinking about it he was definitely going overboard re how intelligent I am. The conceited part of me lapped it up at first.


Another red flag possibly. He sent a DM saying 'Do you want to believe those idiots or me?' There's been no attempt to counter the claims that have been made.



ToughDiamond
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11 May 2022, 12:40 pm

firemonkey wrote:
I'm far from dumb,but thinking about it he was definitely going overboard re how intelligent I am. The conceited part of me lapped it up at first.

Another red flag possibly. He sent a DM saying 'Do you want to believe those idiots or me?' There's been no attempt to counter the claims that have been made.

Yes, that was a tad irrational of him to paint the others like that without evidence. I've read that most people overlook reason when considering their own worth, at least to a degree. For some reason I see my worth as rather a meaningless concept, and when somebody flatters me it tells me a lot more about them than it does about me.



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11 May 2022, 1:45 pm

firemonkey wrote:
I've been exchanging DMs with someone I first interacted with on a Facebook group. He's seemed fine to me, but has been accused by a group admin of inviting 200 new FB accounts with few friends to the group. The admin was apparently warned about him months ago.

I don't know what to believe.

Believe about what? Whether or not he invited people to join a FB group? I don't see the connection. Has he been asking you personal questions like "what's your mother's maiden name?" or just talking about normal stuff?



kokopelli
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11 May 2022, 2:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Don’t give out personal information.

Just enjoy the online chats—but don’t get too close to this person.


In my case, my Facebook account is not even under my real name. Only my sister knows what the name is on the account and she has probably forgotten by now.



firemonkey
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11 May 2022, 2:20 pm

^^ Fair enough.