Who gets insulted, verbally abused, mocked and ridiculed?

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The lame-ass advice of "just ignore the bully" only works if the bully is a one-off, i.e. you'll likely never see them again, or very infrequently. Like someone who cuts in line in front of you and smirks as if you're "beneath them" (had this happen a couple of times), or some imbecile who honks at you to walk faster when you've got the right of way, or if you worked in customer service and someone's being really unreasonable (and/or abusive) with their complaint.

Of course, the "just ignore" advice in these one-offs have exceptions, as social rules tend to... like if you're a guy on a date with a girl at some tavern, especially if she's your girlfriend, and some meatheads take it upon themselves to harass you or ask the girl "what are you doing with a dork like him??"

I hate to say it, but a few people can still be meathead bullies into their 20s - I know from experience. When I was in uni/college, I'd go to bars/clubs with a couple of close trusted friends who accepted me, and every now and then these two guys who were like the stereotypical "Chads" or cocky jock types would make asinine comments at me, ask if I was gay, sabotage my chat-ups with women... one time at a house party one of them assaulted me but there were no impartial witnesses. (This was in the 90s before my diagnosis, and before everyone had smartphones.) Still I didn't stand up to them because I would've likely ended up in hospital (maybe with long-lasting injuries), or I would've been dealing with the cops and lawyers.

Yeah, I know. With examples like these, it seems hard to believe that WE'RE the ones who lack decorum or empathy

When we humans think of "bully" we picture kids in the playground flushing another kid's head down the toilet or taking their lunch money or beating them up behind the bike sheds. In adulthood that sort of bullying rarely happens. It's more subtle and passive-aggressive.

And it's not just people in their 20s, as I've been bullied by people (women) in their 60s at a voluntary job I used to do. They were cliquey and often criticised me about things that were none of their business, and I knew they often moaned about me behind my back. It was only about 3 people but they were there nearly every day so I had no choice but to see them whenever I went in and I started to feel uncomfortable around them, because they were judging me and nitpicking at everything I did and didn't do. I left unexpectedly in the end because I decided I wasn't going to be treated that way any more.
I done voluntary work to gain confidence, but being treated like that wasn't doing my confidence much good. It made me realise that people can be nasty in the adult world too. I don't understand why people choose to be nasty for. How do they sleep at night knowing that they are a nasty person? Who really wants to be a nasty person?

Yeah, I know. With examples like these, it seems hard to believe that WE'RE the ones who lack decorum or empathy

Here is what you can say because it's true: "Are you so insecure that the only way you can make yourself feel good is to pick on and laugh at a severely disabled person? "

Say that and see what happens. Good job not tolerating the crap from those people.

I will say this a number of people who treated me like s**t are either dead or living sh***y lives.

And, two of the companies I worked for in my past who screwed me over are long since gone.

One man who called me a stupid mother f****r years ago has long since passed away.

I was pretty much the target of all my older brother's contempt for what he saw as socially unfit people. He mocked me every time I met him until I finally moved out of my country. For the first 3 years, when I was still in Europe, he didn't care about me as long as I was home for Christmas. Then I left Europe, spent years not seeing his face and suddenly I got an email saying he "missed me".

Alright, I thought I'll give him one last chance. So I went home this year, met him, and although I wasn't mocked much, all our conversations were basically about either a) how successful he was, or b) how much he missed being "big brother". I.e. he doesn't care about me personally, he cares about feeling "big" in relation to my presence (which is arguably less successful) so he can feel even better about himself.

Screw him, it doesn't matter that we're family. Family members get nasty in ways even regular bullies don't, because they know every little secret about you and every switch to flip to make you feel worse. If I never meet him from now on I'd live a happy life.

The way I see it, if people pass me and make some insulting comment and start laughing then that is rude, ignorant and disrespectful. I could pretend that I don't care, but I would be lying to myself. For the sake of my own self respect I have decided that I am no longer going to tolerate being treated this way.

However, in the moment, these things usually happen at exactly those times when I am at my most vulnerable, stressed, weakest, most uncomfortable etc etc, sometimes near or past the edge of shutdown / meltdown etc so so I genereally dont have my wits about me as much as I would like in these situations.

So If I don't manage to say anything at all those times, I will be better spending that energy thinking about what I could have said, rather than just boiling up with resentment and anger. Then maybe next time something similar happens I will have something readily prepared to say to these ****** that think it is acceptable to openly laugh at and ridicule lone and vulnerable Autistics.

It may not change anything in the grand scheme of things, apart from how I feel, which as far as I am concerned If It will help me avoid having my whole day ruined then it makes every sense to take action. It cant possibly make me feel any worse after these encounters than I already do. That would not be possible. Even if I come off worse during some of these encounters practice makes perfect.

Ignorant ***** need educating that they cant go round ridiculing Autistics with no consequence. That is just not on.

I understand what people mean when they say that you don't have to internalise other people's opinions/ attitudes or whatever. Every situation is different. In some scenarios things seem much clearer and it is easy to think "that person simply does not have the faintest idea of understanding" and then it is easy to dismiss them without needing to internalise anything. When it is much crueller and meaner in the form of open mockery then it can be much harder to achieve the dismissive response, because it is purely nasty behaviour, and not simply a lack of understanding.. At least I am finding it so currently. Its about vulnerability and strength in my opinion.

It's just a theory I've got, but people who have more of an understanding of ASD/HFA/NVLD based on studies or what-have-you, would be less inclined to mock those on the spectrum - my gut feeling is that these folks would be more enlightened about it. I have actually met such people IRL.

Conversely, those who act like asshats and d-bags towards ND people are more likely to have not even a cursory understanding of autism.