Belonging nowhere

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Where many Aspies feel that they are misplaced in this world, I do not just feel that. I even feel so among other people on the spectrum.

How do you mean? Is this feeling in reference to online autism communities like this one, or other individuals on the spectrum you have met in-person? In what context did you expect to feel like you belonged, but then did not feel like you belonged?

This feeling of existential isolation isn't confined to people on the spectrum, it's a malaise that has affected western society in particular since the latter half of the last century. Consumer culture has shattered our sense of community and replaced it with a false sense of belonging based on the desire to have what others have; to a lot of people, this is what 'sharing' now means.

My mood swings and lack of focus and tiredness keep me from being with people. There is nothing in my loneliness that I perceive evolves around consumer culture, since I self-isolate.

It is simply that many things that of core impotence to others are not that for me. Also I view many things differently then most.

Well imagine you long for others like yourself. You get an official diagnosis. At first you are optimistic but then it's like "awwwwww". And then it is just like with the rest of what you knew. Just here I have met people who wave AS like a big flag that allows them to get away with anything or people who take criticism more personally. While I was diagnosed with HFA, I can confidently say that I find it of utmost difficulty to identify with Aspies as a community.

I cannot relate to people here because instead of being horrible at expressing emotion, I have large difficulty with comprehending emotion at all. I can probably count all emotions I have experienced on one hand: Happy, mania, annoyance, sad, angry. Most of the time I am mildly elated. I shut off when I face people who are emotional or I completely tune out my little emotion and look at people like subjects up for analysis. I just cannot feel identity to any community somehow. It is difficult for me to describe.

I don't feel misplaced, I officially am. I tried to get attention or attention seeking for a long time. Generally because of this.

Here is a good example and I may be cut off for this but this is something I have to accept. I can't get a grip of it, even knowing its the truth.

I've been homeless for over a year, I finally got a place in a RV (which my mother is taking advantage of) even controlling my trust and taking my money. People had been taking photos of me but turned to getting other homeless people off the streets and generally saying I'm trash.

She has about custody of $100,000 dollars and even others are preventing me on obtaining that money, even though its legally mine. Supporting my mother since she is a woman, as I am not.

Even though the money should of helped me, people are preventing that in that case.

Many homeless people I knew are practically off the streets by now as even others are laughing it in my face even though I suffer from the dellusion that people honestly care about me in one way or another.

I'm not sure what to do at this point, other than getting that money and heading off out of civilization for good, manifesting what I can in my autistic nature.

Or the raw material of my autistic brain.

I'm alone in this and scared out of my mind. I know I'm not actually going to get any help. I just want some justice in my behalf.

It's isolating as hell to be different among the people you're supposed to belong to. I feel like some weird monster spliced with random DNA components till it created a freak that doesn't fit with anyone.

These existential questions with no answer are frustrating. I've been trying to figure out where I ought to fit in. Haven't a clue, yet.

But if these are just lemons (of a question, and existence), I think making lemonade would be a good way to start "fixing" things.

I don't want to "belong" anywhere. The word implies ownership, and I cannot accept that any social group owns me.

I absolutely understand this feeling. I feel at home here, but among the other autistics I've met in real life in my social skills groups and such, I still feel isolated and different because they all seem far higher functioning than me. None of them have ever had meltdowns in group like I have, their grasp of social skills seems to be globally higher than mine, and in five years, I've only ever met one other person who stims visibly as I do. The only person I've met whose social skills are worse than mine, I don't like, because he's loud, bossy, interrupts everyone all the time, and takes it as a personal offence when the group doesn't want to fixate on his topic.

I share this feeling. It's very rare I feel like belonging to something social, and even if I do, it fades away shortly.

I accepted being along a long time ago. My folks want me to make friends but I don't want to waste my time since its not gonna go anywhere

I love it a lot to belong in the street, city, country, milky way which is called Erewhon-nowherE.
In the city of Nowhere i am nobodys property, Erewhon gives me the ultimate feeling of autonome freedom.
Not only the city Nowhere feels nice, also the road to Erewhon feels wonderfull.
David Byrne from Scotland have made a song which is called "the road to Nowhere"