You ask very difficult questions. People lie and that must be understood. Having a poor TOM, being bullied, and being used makes it harder for many of us. That sentence was taken from another person's excellent response to one of your great questions. I have been struggling with this problem for over 60 years.
For example, seduction. I have been humiliated, had my heart ripped out, and stomped on. This happens to many people. My response to seduction is to get triggered, fight or flight mode. My lady friends tend to take it personally and the relationship suffers badly. Understanding when a person is being genuine is a skill I have not mastered at all.
The whole binary response to the world, is it good or is it bad, does not work well. There are so many levels of trust that are nearly impossible for me to understand. You are not alone. Just look at the state of the world. People like to believe lies that make them feel superior to others. The higher the stakes, the more caution is required.
Good luck friend.
_________________
Rdos: ND 133/200, NT 75/200
Not Diagnosed and Not Sure