ASD adults and aggression - thoughts?

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Earthbound_Alien
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15 Jul 2022, 12:12 pm

we are not violent but you won't listen.....

Earthbound_Alien
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15 Jul 2022, 12:16 pm

Joe90 wrote:

I don't misread non-verbal cues, but I can choose to ignore them if my impulses are too much to control (I know I find ignoring things hard but not when impulses are involved). For example if I'm talking to someone who seems distracted and is probably wanting me to shut up or talk about something else, I instinctively pick up on that but I choose to ignore because I really want to finish getting out what I'm saying.

With me anxiety or depression can cause anger for me, but not really physical anger, just angry feelings or words. Like if I'm feeling overwhelmed in a crowded supermarket with screaming babies, I start to feel angry inside and I may look irritated and it makes me become impatient and feel hatred towards anything that makes a noise or invades my personal space. I have to stop myself from yelling "oh piss off!" or "just shut up!", which I understand that will be inappropriate to yell like that and that actions do have consequences, but what you're feeling and what you understand can be two different things. Like I understand that babies do cry but that doesn't stop me from feeling anxious or annoyed when they do, because I just can't stand the sound (misophonia I believe).

I'm an expressive person and being out in public can be draining for me because the rules are to not show too much emotion, so I've got to behave calm and cool when inside I'm feeling exasperated with people in general. It's nothing personal, but people do take it personally when I have a frustrated facial expression, which then makes me feel worse. If someone in a supermarket sighs or glares at me because I happen to be too near or whatever, I don't take it personally, I just know how they're feeling and that I'm one of many people so they're not really frustrated at me personally, they're just frustrated with the supermarket being so crowded. It's surprising most people don't understand this.

its normal to be bothered by screaming children.

go out of hours, go when its quiet

if you are bothered by noise and its painful wear headphones

Earthbound_Alien
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15 Jul 2022, 12:20 pm

certain noises can be physically painful

but certain sensations are pleasurable too

like a rubbings....but I can't deal with the cachophony of noise created by humans talk8ng at once

I wait till it goes quiet

its like a gaggle of geese at a farm yard and it physically hurts

Earthbound_Alien
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15 Jul 2022, 12:22 pm

its painful

and if I need to get away I may seem huffy puffity

just move please

I'm fine I don't emotional support

I need quiet, please

listen

please

Earthbound_Alien
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15 Jul 2022, 12:24 pm

the noise physically hurts me

just like 5he scratchy materials

stop it please

you don't think it should be painful but it is

stop please

listen

then I won't meltdown/overload

please

Earthbound_Alien
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15 Jul 2022, 12:28 pm

please I'm not stupid but it hurts

I'm trying to tell you I'm in pain
fragile x broken x gene from me. dad

autistic like

skibum
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15 Jul 2022, 6:54 pm

Earthbound_Alien wrote:

stop bullying them

stop it

I don't understand. Whom are you referring to when you say, "stop bullying them?"

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skibum
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15 Jul 2022, 6:55 pm

Earthbound_Alien wrote:

we are not violent but you won't listen.....

Yes to this!!

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skibum
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15 Jul 2022, 6:56 pm

Earthbound_Alien wrote:

please I'm not stupid but it hurts

I'm trying to tell you I'm in pain
fragile x broken x gene from me. dad

autistic like

I here you. I understand. :heart:

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Jayo
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17 Jul 2022, 8:47 pm

skibum wrote:

Great and encouraging update!!

I just got a call back from the author of the article. He actually feels terrible. He had no intention at all of having that article imply that he thinks that all or that the majority of Aspergian people are the way that the article describes. He is actually a very nice and humble person who really thinks very highly of the Autistic community and really wants to help. So I apologize for my initial reaction to his article and website as well. I am now genuinely convinced that he just made some poor errors in judgment that caused his choices of words and how he designed his website to give a wrong impression. I am so happy that he called and that we were able to talk. He will be calling me again and I am really looking forward to having a great relationship with him where we can discuss the challenges that we have as a community and together work towards solutions that help us all.

I am so happy to have been proved wrong in my initial impression. Sometimes that's the best feeling.

Very well done, skibum...you have scored a small victory for the autistic community; as the OP of this thread, I'm glad to see something positive become of it

skibum
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18 Jul 2022, 9:57 am

Jayo wrote:

skibum wrote:

Very well done, skibum...you have scored a small victory for the autistic community; as the OP of this thread, I'm glad to see something positive become of it

Thank you so much. I will call the psychologist again and ask him to rewrite the article as one of you suggested.

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skibum
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18 Jul 2022, 3:14 pm

I just spoke to the good psychologist who wrote the article again. He is willing to rewrite it. In fact, he is willing to become a member here as well. I have sent him this entire thread. He will have us help him rewrite the article so that it can be accurate. He is also able and willing to take on new patients. I believe he is located in the San Francisco area in California in the US. He said it takes about three weeks for him to take on a new patient but if any of you would like to contact him, his contact info is in the link to the article that is in the original post. I guess I can copy/paste it here.

https://kennethrobersonphd.com/aggressi ... aspergers/

He is really an amazing and wonderful person who really cares deeply about helping Autistic people. I like him very much and I would gladly be a patient of his but I am not in that part of the US. He is incredibly humble and very caring. He even laughed when I told him that I called him a pompous prick with his head up his butt on this thread. He thought that was hilarious and he was so happy when I told him how thrilled I was to be proved wrong about him. I definitely recommend this guy to anyone who is looking for a good therapist in the San Francisco area. (I believe that is where he is.) I don't know if he is able to work remotely, I don't know how that kind of licensing works. But anyway, I am really excited to welcome him here.

He had asked me to send him the article and give him my thoughts on how he should rewrite it. I will do that. But I also asked him to come here and ask all of you as well and he is absolutely willing. I am so glad that there are people like him in the professions of psychology and therapy.

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skibum
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19 Jul 2022, 5:30 pm

I am going to send my notes to Dr. Roberson so that he can rewrite the article. I will keep you posted. Please also give your ideas on how you would like it to be rewritten. Thank you.

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IsabellaLinton
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19 Jul 2022, 7:37 pm

Thanks again skibum for your efforts in seeking this important revision.

I have several ideas on how to address the topic and I'd be happy to forward an outline.
I'm juggling a lot right now but I could compile my thoughts by the weekend.
Should I email him directly or send them to you?

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skibum
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19 Jul 2022, 8:00 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

That would be great. I would definitely send them to him directly. Let him know that you are from WP. I have sent him the link to this thread. I would also post your outline here because that will encourage others to respond as well. As soon as I send my ideas to him, I will share them here also. We should all pitch in. This would really be a great way to work together with and NT psychologist who really wants to make a difference.

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IsabellaLinton
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19 Jul 2022, 8:19 pm

Of course I'll post.

Thanks again.

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